Mutu 13
Lingaliro Lanu la Kugonana—Kodi Limapanga Kusiyana Kotani?
1-3. (a) Kodi ndimotani mmene Baibulo limasonyezera kuti kugonana pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi kuli ndi chivomerezo cha Mulungu? (b) Kodi kukakhala kwabwino kwamunthu kuloŵa m’kugwiritsira ntchito mphamvu zake mosadzilamulira?
ANTHU ena ali ndi lingaliro lakuti Baibulo limatsutsa chirichonse chogwirizana ndi kugonana. Komabe, kupendedwa kwa Baibulo lenilenilo kumavumbula kuti zimenezo siziri zowona. Litalongosola za chilengedwe cha Mulungu cha mwamuna woyamba ndi mkazi, limapitirizabe kulongosola kuti: “Mulungu . . . anadalitsa iwo, ndipo adati kwa iwo, mubalane, muchuluke, mudzadze dziko lapansi.”—Genesis 1:27, 28.
2 Pamenepa, maunansi akugonana pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi, alidi ndi chivomerezo cha Mulungu. Koma kodi Mulungu amavomereza kugonana kosalamuliridwa? Kodi kumeneku kungadzetse chisangalalo chachikulu koposa m’moyo? Kodi kungachititse mtendere weniweni ndi chisungiko kwa ife ndi kwa awo otizinga?
3 Kugonana kuli nkhani yogwiritsiridwa ntchito molakwa mofanana ndi zochita zina za anthu. Kudya nkwabwino ndi kofunika kaamba ka moyo. Komabe kudya mopambanitsa kungavulaze thanzi ndi kufupikisa moyo wa munthu. Tulo, natonso, ntofunika. Koma topitirira muyezo timabera moyo chipambano ndipo tingafooketsedi thupi. Monga momwedi kuliri kuti chisangalalo chowona cha moyo sichimachokera m’kudya mopambanitsa, uchidakwa ndi ulesi, choteronso sichimachokera m’kugwiritsira ntchito kosalamuliridwa kwamphamvu zakugonana za munthuyo. Zokumana nazo za anthu kwa zaka zikwi zambiri zimachitira umboni chimenechi. Kodi tiyenera kuphunzira mwachokumana nacho chowawa cha ife eni? Pali njira yabwino kwambiri.
4. Kodi nchiyani chimene chiyenera kutisonkhezera kuchirikiza miyezo ya Mulungu yonena za kugonana?
4 Mawu a Mulungu amapereka lingaliro lokhazikika la kugonana limene lidzatetezera chimwemwe chathu tsopano ndi mtsogolo. Komabe, sikuli kokha kaamba ka mtendere wa ife eni ndi chisungiko kuti tiyenera kuphunzira ndi kumamatira kumiyezo ya Mulungu yonena za kugwiritsiridwa ntchito kwamphamvu zimenezi. Chofunika kwambiri, tiyenera kutero kuchitira ulemu Mlengi wathu. Ngati tikhaladi kumbali yake pankhani yaulamuliro, tidzagonjera mokwanira ku nzeru yake yapamwamba ndi ulamuliro wa ufumu munkhani iyinso.—Yeremiya 10:10, 23.
Kusunga Ukwati Kukhala Wolemekezeka Pakati pa Onse
5. Kodi Baibulo limanenanji ponena za kugonana kulikonse popanda ukwati?
5 Baibulo limapereka uphungu wakuti: “Ukwati ukhale wolemekezeka pakati pa onse, ndi kama waukwati akhale wosadetsedwa, pakuti Mulungu adzaweruza adama ndi achigololo.” (Ahebri 13:4, NW) Chotero, Mulungu amatsutsa amene amagonana popanda ukwati. Kumeneku kuli kogwirizana ndi chenicheni chakuti popatsa mwamuna woyambilira mnzake wa muukwati, Mulungu anasonyeza kuti chifuniro chake chinali chakuti aŵiri akhale “thupi limodzi,” m’chomangira chosatha chaumodziwo. Zaka zokwanira zikwi zinayi pambuyo pake Mwana wa Mulungu anasonyeza kuti Atate sanasiye muyezo umenewu. (Genesis 2:22-24; Mateyu 19:4-6) Koma kodi muyezo wotero uli woletsa mosafunika? Kodi umatimanitsa kanthu kena kabwino?
6. Kodi nchiyani chimene chimasonyeza kuti lamulo la Mulungu loletsa chigololo liri kaamba ka ubwino wathu?
6 Chigololo chimawononga muyezo waumulungu, ndipo Yehova Mulungu akulonjeza kukhala “mboni yakufulumira” m’kuweruza achigololo. (Malaki 3:5) Zipatso zoipa zakugonana popanda mgwirizano waukwati zimagogomezera nzeru yalamulo la Mulungu. Chigololo chimaturutsa kusadalirana ndi kusakhulupilirana. Chimachititsa kusasungika ndipo chimafooketsa mtendere waukwati. Kuŵaŵidwa ndi kusweka mtima zimene zimatulukapo kaŵirikaŵiri zimatsogolera ku chisudzulo. Ana amavutika pamene amawona banja lawo likusweka. Mwachiwonekere, kutsutsa kwa Mulungu chigololo kuli kaamba ka ubwino wathu. Mawu ake amasonyeza kuti aliyense wokhala ndi chikondi chenicheni cha mnansi sadzachita chigololo.—Aroma 13:8-10.
7. Longosolani chimene chikutanthauzidwa ndi liwu lakuti dama, monga momwe latchulidwira m’Baibulo.
7 Monga momwe tawonera, Baibulo limasonyezanso chiweruzo cha Mulungu pa adama. Kodi kwenikweni dama nchiyani? Pamene kuli kwakuti kugwiritsira ntchito kwa Baibulo kwa liwuli kungaphatikizepo kugonana kochitidwa ndi anthu osakwatirana kudzanso chigololo, iro kaŵirikaŵiri liri ndi tanthauzo lokulirapo kwambiri. Liwu lakuti “dama” limene limagwiritsiridwa ntchito pakulembedwa kwa mawu a Yesu ndi ophunzira ake ndilo liwu Lachigiriki por·neiʹa. Likutengedwa kumagwero ofanana ndi liwu lamakono lakuti “pornography.” (“mabukhu osonyeza zoipa”). M’nthawi za Baibulo por·neiʹa linagwiritsiridwa nchito kufotokoza mipangidwe yambiri yakugonana kosavomerezedwa ndi lamulo popanda ukwati. Por·neiʹa limalowetsamo kugwiritsiridwa ntchito koipa kwampheto kochitidwa ndi munthu mmodzi (kaya mwanjira yachibadwa kapena yosakhala yachibadwa). Ndiponso, panayenera kukhala chiŵalo china ku choipacho—mwamuna kapena mkazi kapenanso nyama.
8. Kodi mtumwi Paulo anafulumizira Akristu ‘kudzipatula ku dama’ kaamba ka zifukwa zamphamvu zotani?
8 Pofulumiza Akristu ‘kudzipatula ku dama,’ mtumwi Paulo anapereka zifukwa zamphamvu, akumati: “Asapitireko munthu, nanyenge mbale wake mmenemo, chifukwa Ambuye ndiye wobwezera wa izi zonse . . . Pakuti Mulungu sanaitane ife titsate chidetso . . . Chifukwa chake iye wotaya ichi, sataya munthu, komatu Mulungu.”—1 Atesalonika 4:3-8.
9, 10. (a) Kodi nchifukwa ninji anthu ena amapewa kuloŵa muukwati walamulo, ngakhale kuli kwakuti akukhalira limodzi ndi munthu wina wosiyana naye ziŵalo? (b) Ngakhale damalo liri mwakuvomerezana, kodi ndimotani mmene paliri ‘chivulazo ndi kulumpha malire azoyenera za ena’?
9 Munthu wochita dama ‘amawonongadi ndi kulumpha malire a zoyenera za ena.’ Mwachitsanzo, ziri zotero ponena za anthu amene amakhala ndi mkazi kapena mwamuna popanda phindu laukwati walamulo. Kodi nchifukwa ninji iwo amakuchita? Kaŵirikaŵiri kuli kotero kuti athe kusiya mgwirizanowo paliponse pamene afuna. Iwo samapatsa mnzawoyo chisungiko chimene ukwati wodalirika uyenera kudzetsa. Koma ngati anthu aŵiri onsewo aloŵa unansiwo mofunitsitsa, kodi iwo ‘akuwonongabe ndi kulumpha zoyenera za ena’? Inde, ziri chonchodi.
10 Pali ziyambukiro zambiri zamachitachita a adama zimene ‘zimalumpha zoyenera za ena.’ Choyamba, munthu aliyense wochita dama amakhala ndi phande mu kuwononga chikumbumtima cha winayo kudzanso kaimidwe kalikonse koyera kamene munthuyo angakhale ali nako ndi Mulungu. Wadama amawononga mwaŵi wa munthu winayo wa kuloŵa ukwati ndi chiyambi choyera. Mwachiwonekere iye amadzetsa mnyozo, chitonzo, ndi vuto paziŵalo za banja la munthu winayo, kudzanso la iyemwini. Iye angaikenso paupandu thanzi lamaganizo, lamalingaliro, ndi lakuthupi la munthu winayo. Kaŵirikaŵiri nthenda zopatsirana mwakugonana zowopsa monga AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome) (Nthenda Yowononga Mphamvu Yoteteza Matenda Yathupi) yakuphayo imagwirizanitsidwa ndi chisembwere.
11. Kodi nchifukwa ninji palibe chifukwa chirichonse chakuti munthu wina akhulupilire kuti Mulungu adzalekerera dama?
11 Ambiri amasankha kusawona zovulaza zimenezi. Koma kodi mukhulupirira kuti Mulungu m’chilungamo chake, adzalekerera kunyalanyaza zoyenera za ena kwankhanza koteroko? Mawu a Mulungu amafunsira ‘kulemekeza,’ osati kululuza kapena kukana, kakonzedwe kake kopatulika kaukwati.—Ahebri 13:4; Mateyu 22:39.
12. (a) Kodi nchiyani chimene chiri lingaliro la Mulungu ponena za kugonana kwa anthu ofanana ziŵalo? (b) Kodi lamulo la Mulungu loletsa kugonana kwa anthu ofanana ziŵalo limatitetezera ku chiyani?
12 Bwanji za kugonana kwa anthu ofanana ziwalo? Monga momwe tawonera, kachitidwe aka kakuphatikizidwa mu liwu lakuti por·neiʹa (“dama”), logwiritsiridwa ntchito ndi Yesu ndi ophunzira ake. Wophunzira Yuda anagwiritsira ntchito liwulo ponena za machitidwe a kugonana osakhala achibadwa a amuna a m’Sodomu ndi Gomora. (Yuda 7) Kugonana kwa anthu ofanana ziwalo kumeneko kunachititsa kululuzika kumene kunachititsa ‘mfuu yaikulu yakudandaula.’ Ndipo kunatsogolera ku kuwononga kwa Mulungu mizinda imeneyo ndi okhalamo ake. (Genesis 18:20; 19:23, 24) Kodi lingaliro la Mulungu lasintha chiyambire panthawi imeneyo? Ayi. Mwachitsanzo, Akorinto Woyamba 6:9, 10 akundandalika “[amuna] akudziipsa ndi amuna,” pakati pa awo amene sadzaloŵa Ufumu wa Mulungu ngati apitirizabe machitidwe otero. Ndiponso, polongosola zoturukapo kwa anthu amene ‘amachititsa manyazi matupi awo muuchisi,’ akumatsata “zilakolako zachilendo,” Baibulo limanena kuti iwo ‘anatenthetsana ndi chilakolako chawo wina ndi mnzake, amuna okhaokha anachitirana chamanyazi, ndipo analandira mwa iwo okha mphotho ya kuyenera kulakwa kwawo.’ (Aroma 1:24, 27) Sikokha kuti anthu oterowo amaloŵa m’chitsutso cha Mulungu, koma iwo amalandiranso “mphotho” ya kuipa kwamalingaliro ndi kwakuthupi. Mwachitsanzo, lerolino pali chiwerengero chachikulu mochititsa mantha cha chindoko, AIDS, ndi nthenda zina zopatsirana mwa kugonana pakati pa ogonana ofanana ziŵalo. Miyezo yapamwamba yamakhalidwe ya Mawu a Mulungu imatitetezera kuzovulaza zotero, mmalo mwakutilanda kanthu kena kabwino.
Kulandira Lingaliro la Mulungu la Chisudzulo
13. Kodi nkhani yakukhulupirika ku zowinda zaukwati za munthuwe iri yowopsa motani?
13 “Ndimada chisudzulo.” Mmenemo ndimo mmene Yehova Mulungu anasonyezera lingaliro lamphamvu podzudzula awo amene anachita monyenga ‘ndi anzawo amuukwati.’ (Malaki 2:14-16, Revised Standard Version) Mawu ake amapereka uphungu wochuluka kuti uthandize okwatirana kupanga ukwati wachipambano ndi kupewa ululu wachisudzulo. Amamveketsanso kuti Mulungu amawona kukhulupirika kuzowinda za ukwati wa munthuwe kukhala thayo lopatulika.
14, 15. (a) Kodi nchiyani chimene chiri maziko okha oyenera achisudzulo? (b) Kodi dama limasweratu chomangira chaukwati? (c) Kodi ndipansi pamikhalidwe yotani pamene kukwatiranso kuli kololeka?
14 Chimenechi chikugogomezeredwa ndi chenicheni chakuti iye amavomereza maziko amodzi okha oyenera achisudzulo. Yesu anasonyeza chimene amenewa ali: “Ndinena kwa inu kuti aliyense amene akachotsa mkazi wake, osati chifukwa chadama [por·neiʹa], nakwatira wina achita chigololo.” (Mateyu 19:9; 5:32, NW) Por·neiʹa monga momwe tawonera amasonya ku kugonana popanda ukwati, kaya kwachibadwa kapena kosakhala kwachibadwa.
15 Ngati mnzanu wamuukwati akhala ndi liwongo la dama, kodi limeneli limasweratu chomangira chaukwati? Ayi, silimatero. Wamuukwati wopanda liwongoyo angasankhe kuti kaya akhululukire kapena ayi. Pamene chisudzulo chasankhidwa, kuzindikira kwa Mkristu ulamuliro woyenera waboma ladziko kudzamchititsa kuthetsa ukwatiwo mwalamulo, akumatero pamaziko owona. (Aroma 13:1, 2) Pamene machitidwewo atha, kukwatiranso nkololedwa. Koma Malemba amapereka uphungu wakuti ukwati wotero uliwonse uyenera kukhala kokha kwa Mkristu wina, amenedi ali “mwa Ambuye.”—1 Akorinto 7:39.
16. Kumaiko kumene lamulo ladziko silimaloleza chisudzulo pamaziko alionse, kodi ndimotani mmene Mboni za Yehova zimasonyezera ulemu kulemekeza lamulo la Mulungu pankhani iyi?
16 Bwanji ngati malamulo adzikolo saloleza chisudzulo chirichonse ngakhale pamaziko achisembwere? M’chochitika chotero mmodzi wopanda liwongoyo angakhale wokhoza kupeza chisudzulo m’dziko limene chisudzulo chimaloledwa. Ndithudi, mikhalidwe ingapangitse chimenechi kukhala chosatheka. Koma mpangidwe wina wachilekaniro chalamulo ungakhale wopezeka m’dziko la munthuyo ndiyeno ungafunidwe. Mulimonse mmene zingakhalire, mmodzi wopanda liwongoyo angalekane ndi waliwongoyo ndi kupereka umboni wotsimikizirika wa zifukwa Zamalemba zachisudzulo kwa woyang’anira mu mpingo wa Mboni za Yehova wa kumene iye ali. Bwanji ngati pambuyo pake munthuyo asankha kutenga wokwatirana naye wina? Mpingo sukanachita chirichonse chakumchotsa monga wachigololo ngati anapereka mawu olembedwa ku mpingoko okhala ndi chowinda chakukhulupirika kwa wokwatirana naye watsopanoyo ndi pangano lakupeza chikalata chaukwati ngati ukwati woyambilirawo ungathetsedwe kaya mwalamulo kapena mwa imfa. Komabe, munthuyo akafunikira kuyang’anizana ndi zoturukapo zirizonse zimene chimenechi chingaturutse kwa iye malingana ndi mmene anthu akunja kwa mpingo aliri. Pakuti kaŵirikaŵiri dziko sirimadziŵa kuti lamulo la Mulungu liri loposa malamulo a anthu ndi kuti malamulo a anthu oterowo ali ndi ulamuliro wochepa chabe.—Yerekezerani ndi Machitidwe 5:29.
Kupewa Mwanzeru Uchisi Wonse ndi Umbombo Wakugonana
17. Kuchokera m’Malemba, fotokozani malo oyenera amene kugonana kuli nawo m’miyoyo ya anthu okwatirana.
17 Mwachiwonekere kugonana kuli ndi malo oyenera m’miyoyo ya anthu okwatirana. Mulungu anapereka kumeneku monga njira mwa imene ana akabalidwira, ndiponso monga magwero achikhutiro chosangalatsa kwa makolo. (Genesis 9:1; Miyambo 5:18, 19; 1 Akorinto 7:3-5) Komabe, iye anachenjeza motsutsana ndi kugwiritsira ntchito molakwa mphatso imeneyi.—Aefeso 5:5.
18, 19. (a) Kodi nchifukwa ninji chizoloŵezi cha psotopsoto kapena kudziipsa sichili choyenera kwa Mkristu? (b) Kodi nchiyani chimene chingathandize munthu kupewa chizoloŵezi choterocho?
18 Chifukwa cha chigogomezero choikidwa pa kugonana lerolino, achichepere ambiri amapeza kuti chikhumbo chawo cha kukhutiritsa kugonana chimadzutsidwa ngakhale iwo asanafikedi pokhoza kukwatira. Monga choturukapo, ena a iwo amafunafuna chisangalalo kupyolera mwa kutenthetsa ziŵalo zawo zogonanira. Kumeneku ndiko psotopsoto kapena kudziipitsa. Kodi nkachitidwe koyenera kapena kanzeru?
19 Malemba amalangiza kuti: “Chifukwa chake, fetsani, ziŵalo zanu zimene ziri padziko lapansi zolingana ndi dama, chidetso, chilakolako cha kugonana, chikhumbo chovulaza, ndi chisiriro.” (Akolose 3:5, NW) Kodi munthu amene amachita psotopsoto ‘akufetsa ziŵalo zathupi lake ponena za chilakolako cha kugonana’? Mosemphana ndi zimenezo, iye akunyanyula chilakolako cha kugonana. Baibulo limalimbikitsa kuti munthu apewe mtundu wakuganiza ndi khalidwe limene limatsogolera ku mavuto oterowo, kuti iye aloŵetse mmalomwake ntchito yabwino, ndi kuti iye akulitse kudziletsa. (Afilipi 4:8; Agalatiya 5:22, 23) Pamene kuyesayesa kowona mtima kuchitidwa kuchita chimenechi, kudziipsa koteroko kungapewedwe, limodzi ndi mapindu mwamalingaliro, mwamaganizo ndi mwauzimu.
20. Kodi nchiyani chimene chimasonyeza kuti sikukakhala koyenera kwa mwamuna ndi mkazi wake kusiya kudziletsa konse m’kugonana kwawo?
20 Zimene Baibulo limanena ponena za “chidetso, chilakolako cha kugonana, chikhumbo chovulaza” zimagwira ntchito kwa Akristu onse, mbeta ndi okwatira. Nzowona kuti mwamuna ndi mkazi wake ali ndi kuyenera Kwamalemba kwa kugonana. Koma kodi zimenezi zikutanthauza kuti iwo angasiye kudziletsa konse? Chenicheni chakuti mawu a Mulungu amafulumiza Akristu onse kukulitsa kudziletsa chimatsutsa lingaliro loterolo. (2 Petro 1:5-8) Wolemba Baibulo wouziridwayo sanafunikire kulongosolera anthu okwatirana njira yachibadwa mu imene ziŵalo zobalira za mwamuna ndi mkazi zimakwaniritsirana. Mwachiwonekere kugonana kwa anthu aziŵalo zofanana sikungatsatire njira yachibadwa imeneyi. Chotero, ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amagwiritsira ntchito mipangidwe ina yakugonana m’chimene mtumwiyo akuchitcha kukhutiritsidwa kwa “zilakolako zamanyazi” ndi “machitachita amanyazi.” (Aroma 1:24-32) Kodi okwatirana angatsanzire mipangidwe yakugonana kwa anthu aziŵalo zofanana yoteroyo m’maunansi awo aukwati ndi kukhalabe m’maso mwa Mulungu osasonyeza “zilakolako zamanyazi,” kapena “chilakolako choipa”?
21. Mosasamala kanthu za mmene mkhalidwe wa munthu ungakhale utakhalira kale, kodi ndimwaŵi wotani umene uli wotseguka kwa iye tsopano?
21 Polingalira zimene Malemba amanena, munthu angazindikire kuti kulingalira kwake kwakale pa zinthu zimenezi kunaumbidwa ndi anthu amene ali, monga momwe Baibulo limanenera, “opanda lingaliro lirilonse lamakhalidwe abwino.” Koma, mwachithandizo cha Mulungu, munthuyo angakhoze “kuvala umunthu watsopano” umene ukuwumbidwa mogwirizana ndi miyezo ya Mulungu yachilungamo. (Aefeso 4:17-24, NW) Mwanjira iyi munthu amasonyeza kuti iye akutanthauzadi zimenezo pamene iye akunena kuti akufuna kuchita chifuniro cha Mulungu.
Lingaliro Lanu Limayambukira Kwambiri Mtendere Wanu ndi Chisungiko
22. Kodi ndimapindu apanthawi yomweyo otani amene amadza kwa awo amene amagwiritsira ntchito uphungu wa Mawu a Mulungu ponena zakhalidwe labwino la kugonana?
22 Kugwiritsira ntchito uphungu wa Mawu a Mulungu ponena za khalidwe labwino la kugonana sikuli kolemetsa. Siyanitsani chipatso chanjira imene Baibulo imandandalika ndi chiŵerengero chapamwamba chadziko cha zisudzulo, mabanja osweka, ana opulupudza, uhule, nthenda, ndi chiwawa ndi mbanda zochitidwa mogwirizana ndi chikhumbo chakugonana. (Miyambo 7:10, 25-27) Ha ndiyowonekera bwino chotani nanga mmene iliri nzeru ya Mawu a Mulungu! Pamene mukana kulingalira kwadziko kozikidwa pa chikhumbo chadyera ndi kugwirizanitsa kulingalira kwanu ndi uphungu wa Yehova, mtima wanu umalimbikitsidwa kwambiri m’zikhumbo zolungama. Mmalo mwazikondwerero zosakhalitsa zachisembwere mumakhala ndi chikumbumtima choyera ndi mtendere wosatha wamaganizo. Zomangira zaukwati ndi zabanja zimalimbikitsidwa ndi kukula kwa kudalirana pakati pa okwatirana limodzi ndi ulemu kuchokera kwa ana.
23. Kodi ndimotani mmene lingaliro la munthu la kugonana liliri chochititsa ‘m’kulembedwa kwake chizindikiro’ chakupulumuka kuloŵa mu “dziko lapansi latsopano”?
23 Ndipo musaiŵale chenicheni chakuti chiyembekezo chanu chenichenicho chamoyo wosatha chikuloŵetsedwamo. Chotero makhalidwe abwino ogwirizana ndi Malemba adzathandizira zambiri koposa thanzi lanu latsopano lino. (Miyambo 5:3-11) Adzakhala mbali yaumboni wakuti inu mumamvadi chisoni ndi zinthu zonyansa zochitidwa ndi anthu amene samachitira Mulungu ulemu ndi kuti inu ‘mwalembedwa chizindikiro’ chakupulumuka kuloŵa “m’dziko lapansi latsopano” la Mulungu, mmene, osati chisembwere, koma chilungamo chidzakhalamo. Pamenepa, nkofunika chotani nanga kuti inu ‘muchite zimene mungathe tsopano kuti mupezedwe potsirizira pake ndi Mulungu wopanda banga ndi wopanda chirema ndi mu mtendere.’—Ezekieli 9:4-6; 2 Petro 3:11-14.