Makore Okuumbika—Chaunodyara Zvino Uchacheka Gare Gare

UROPI hwavacheche zvipanji zvinopinza mhoteredzo dzahwo. Mumakore maviri varidzi vahwo vanodzidza mutauro wakaoma nokungounzwa bedzi. Kana mwana akanzwa miviri, anodzidza yose iri miviri. Kwete mutauro bedzi asiwo mano enziyo nounyanzvi, tsinhirano yetsandanyama, mipimo yetsika uye hana, kutenda norudo nekuchidziro yokunamata—zvose zvinobva mumasimba namano zvakarongerwa muuropi hwavacheche. Hunongomirira bedzi zvinopinzwa zvinobva mumhoteredzo nokuda kwokukura kwahwo. Uyewo, pane rudungwe rwenguva rwakarurama rwokuti izvi zvinopinzwa zviuye nokuda kwemiuyo yakanakisisa, uye nguva iyeyo inobetsera iri mukati mamakore okuumbika.

Muitiro wacho unovamba pakuberekwa. Unonzi chisungo. Amai vanoringa mumeso omucheche norudo, vanotaura kwaari nomutoo unorezva, vanomufungatira nokumugumbatira. Ruzivo rwokuberekwa narwo rwoumai rwunonyandurwa mucheche zvaanotarisisa kwavari uye achinzwa akakotsekana. Kana pamavambo iwawa kuyamwa kuchitanga, kuri nani zvikuru nokuda kwavose vari vaviri. Kuyamwa kwomucheche kunonyandura kubudiswa kwomukaka. Kubatwa kweganda ravo kunoparira kubudiswa kwamahormone ayo anoderedza kubuda ropa kwapashure pokusununguka. Mukaka waamai une masero anoparadza utachiona anodzivirira mucheche pakutapurwa nehosha. Chisungo chinotanga. Ndiwo mavambo oukama hworudo. Asi anongova hawo mavambo bedzi.

Huviri hunokurumidza kuva hutatu apo baba vanobatanidzwa, sezvavanofanira zvamazvirokwazvo. “Mwana ari wose anoda . . . baba,” Dr. T. Berry Brazelton anodaro, “uye baba vari vose vanogona kuita musiano. . . . Vanaamai vaikombamira kukuva vanyoro navanamanzwi akaderera kuvacheche vavo. Vanababa, kune rumwe rutivi, vaiva vanotamba zvikuru, vanosekenyedza navanosetsa vacheche vavo zvikuru kupfuura zvaiita vanaamai.” Vana vanodavidza kuno uku kutarisira kwomurume nokudanidzira kwokunyanduka nokujwiririka kwomufaro, achiva nokutamba kwoupenyu uye achichemera kumwe. Ipfuuridzirwo yechisungo chinotangwa pakuberekwa, ‘batano yorudo pakati pavabereki nomwana iyo nomutoo womuzvarirwo zvikurusa inoitwa kana kuti inoshaikwa mumwedzi gumi nemisere yokutanga youpenyu hwomucheche,’ anodaro Dr. Magid, munyori biyamwe webhuku rinonzi High Risk: Children Without a Conscience. Kana ikashaikwa, iye anodaro, vana vakadaro vangakura kuva vasina mano okukudziridza ukama hupi nohupi hwomunhu oga uye vasina simba rokuda.

Baba Naamai Vanogoverana Chisungo

Nokudaro, kunokosha sei kuti vose vari vaviri amai nababa vabatire pamwe pakusimbaradza iyi batano yorudo, ichi chisungo nenamatirano pakati pavabereki nomwana mukati mamakore okuumbika pamberi pechikoro chavana vadukusa! Ngapave nokufungatira nokutsvoda kwakawanda kunobva kuvabereki vose vari vaviri. Hungu, vanababawo! Men’s Health, June 1992, rinoti: “Kufungatira nechidakadaka chaicho navabereki chinozivisa zvakasimba ushamwari hunobudirira, roorano namabasa munguva yemberi yomwana, kunodaro kunzvera kwamakore 36 kwakabudiswa muJournal of Personality and Social Psychology. Makumi manomwe muzana avacheche vane vabereki vane chidakadaka vakaita zvakanaka nokuda kwavo vamene mufambidzano, mukuenzanisirwa ne 30 muzana yavacheche vane vabereki vasina ushamwari; uye kufungatira kwaBaba kwakawanwa kuva kunokosha sokwaAmai.”

Uyewo, mubatei muchingunozeereka pachigaro chinozeereka. Muravirei sezvaanonzwa akakotsekana pamadya enyu. Taurai kwaari uye muteererei, murairidzei mune chiri chakarurama nechisina kururama, uye ivai nechokwadi chokuva mienzaniso yakanaka, kushandisa idzi nheyo mumene. Uye garoyeukai zera romwana. Kuitei kuti kurambe kwakapfava, kuitei kurambe kuchifadza, kuitei kunofadza.

Mwana wenyu ane chiringa chomuzvarirwo, chishuvo chokuongorora, chokudzidza zvose pamusoro pemhoteredzo dzake. Kugutsa iyi nzara yokuziva, mwana anokunetsai nemibvunzo inopfuurira. Mhepo inoitwa nei? Neiko denga riri rebhuruu? Neiko richitsvuka apo zuva rinonyura? Ipindurei. Hakuzi nyore nguva dzose. Iyi mibvunzo ikokero yokuti imi mupesvedzere ndangariro yomwana wenyu, kuva nezvinopinzwa, zvimwe kupinza kuonga nokuda kwaMwari nechisiko chake. Ifuranondo here rinokambaira paruva dukusa rinorifadza? Kana kuti chimiro cheruva dukusa? Kana kuti kuona dandemutande richitenderedza utande here? Kana kuti richingochera bedzi muvhu? Uye musafuratira kudzidzisa nenhau duku, sezvakaita Jesu nemienzaniso yake. Kunoita kuti kudzidza kuve kunofarikanyika.

Mune zvinoitika zvizhinji vabereki vose vari vaviri vanodikanirwa kuita basa rokunyika kuti vave nemari yakawanda yokurarama nayo. Vanogona kuita nhamburiko chaiyo here kuti vapedze madekwana namaawa okupera kwevhiki navana vavo? Kunobvirira amai here kuti vashande hafu yamazuva kuti vave nenguva yakawanda navana vavo? Kuna vabereki vamwe vazhinji nhasi, uye vanofanira kushanda kuti vazvitsigire vamene navana vavo. Vanogona here kuva vanoshingaira kuti vape maawa mazhinji amadekwana nokupera kwevhiki sezvinobvira kuvana vavo? Mune zvinoitika zvakawanda kuri madikanwa kuti vanaamai vasava navana vavo. Kunyange apo zvikonzero zvokusavapo zvinenge zvichishanda, mwana muduku haanzwisisi ikoko uye anganzwa asiiwa. Ipapo nhamburiko chaiyo inofanira kuitwa yokutenga nguva nokuda kwomwana wenyu.

Zvino, chii chiri iyi “nguva inokosha” yatinonzwa nezvayo? Vabereki vakabatikana vangapedza maminiti 15 kana kuti 20 rimwe zuva riri rose vaine mwana wavo, zvimwe awa pakupera kwevhiki, ndokuiidza kuti inguva inokosha. Iyoyi yakaringanira chinodikanwa chomwana here? Kana kuti donzo rayo nderokunyaradza hana yomubereki here? Kana kuti kusunungura here ndangariro yaamai vanoshanda nokuda kwokuzvigutsa nepo vachisia mwana asina kugutswa? Asi unoti, ‘Chaizvoizvo, ndakabatikana chaizvo zvokuti handitongorina rudzi irworwo rwenguva.’ Ikoko kwakashata zvikurusa uye kunosuruvarisa zvikuru kwamuri mose muri vaviri imi nomwana wenyu nokuti hakuna nzira dzokudimburira. Wanai nguva mukati mamakore okuumbika, kana kuti ivai vakagadzirira kucheka mukaha wechizvarwa mumakore okuyaruka.

Hakusati kuri kuvadziko bedzi inobvira inoitwa kumwana anosiiwa kukirechi, asiwo kurasikirwa kwavabereki apo vanoshaiwa kufarikanya mwana sezvaanokura. Mwana haagaronzwisisa zvikonzero nei uye zvikonzero zvokuva anosiiwa oga; anganzwa achiregeredzwa, achirambwa, achisiiwa, asingadiwi. Pakuzosvika pamakore ake okuyaruka, angave aumba batano navezera rake kuti atsive vabereki vakanyanyobatikana zvokusagona kuva naye. Mwana angatovamba kutanga kurarama upenyu huviri, humwe hwokunyaradza vabereki vake nohumwe hwokuzvifadza amene. Mashoko, tsananguro, kukumbira ruregerero—hapana nechimwe chaikoku chinopfiga mukaha. Kutaura kwavabereki pamusoro porudo zvino hakusati kuchikurukurwa sokuri chaikoiko kumwana akaregeredzwa mumakore apo iye aida vabereki vake zvikurusa. Kutaurwa kworudo zvino kunonzwika kuva kwenhema; mashokowo anoratidzika kuva asiri apachokwadi. Kufanana nokutenda, rudo runonyepedzerwa kana rwusina mabasa rwakafa harwo.—Jakobho 2:26.

Kucheka Kunyange Zvino Zvatakadyara

Muchizvarwa chino choungandiveni, udyire huri kuwedzera, uye huri kuoneka zvikurukuru mukusiiwa kwavana vedu. Tinovabereka, uye ipapo tinovapinza mukirechi. Dzimwe kirechi dzingava dzakanaka kuvana, asi zhinji hadzina, zvikurukuru kwete nokuda kwavana vaduku. Dzimwe dzinotofeiwafeiwa nokuda kwokubatwa zvisina kufanira kwavana. Mumwe munzveri akati: “Munguva yemberi, pasina panikiro ipi neipi zvayo, tichava nezvinetso zvinoita kuti nhasi aratidzike kuva tii pati.” “Tii pati” yanhasi inotova inotyisa, sokuratidzira kunoita zviverengero zvakapiwa naDr. David Elkind muna 1992, kuti:

“Kwave kune wedzero ye 50 muzana muuremu muvana nepwere kwaanopfuura makumi maviri amakore akapfuura. Tinorasikirwa navachikuyaruka vane zviuru zvine gumi pagore mutsaona dzine chokuita nemirimo, tisingabatanidzi vakakuvadzwa navakaremara. Mumwe muvachikuyaruka vana anonyanyonwisa kwamavhiki maviri ari ose, uye tine vachikuyaruka vanamamirioni maviri vari zvidhakwa.

“Vasikana vachikuyaruka muAmerica vanova nemimba pamwero wemirioni imwe pagore, kupeta nakaviri mwero wenyika yoKumadokero, England. Kuzviuraya kwakawedzera nekatatu pakati pavachikuyaruka mumakore 20 akapfuura, uye pakati pavachikuyaruka vashanu navane zviuru zvitanhatu vanozviuraya gore rimwe nerimwe. Kunofungidzirwa kuti musikana mumwe achikuyaruka muvana anoratidzira chinenge chiratidzo chimwe chevhiringidziko yemiitiro yokudya, ichiwanzova yakakomba zvikuru mukudya mukuwirirana noutano. Boka rezera ramakore 14 kusvikira ku 19 rine mwero mukurusa wechipiri wokuzviuraya kweboka ripi neripi rezera.”

Wedzera kuizvi zviverengero zvinotyisa kuurawa kwavacheche vanopfuura mamirioni 50 pavanenge vachiri mumimba, uye “tii pati” yanhasi inozvidza rondedzero. Nokuputsika kwemhuri kunooneka, Dr. Elkind akati: “Chinjo inokurumidza yenzanga ingwavaira nokuda kwavana nepwere, avo vanoda dzikamo nechengeteko nokuda kwewedzero youtano nokukura.” Mumwe munyori pamusoro poudyire hwoungandiveni akadanidzira mukuramba, kuti: “Asi hakuna munhu anodisa kutaura kuna vananyakuroorana kuti, Tarirai, munofanira kugara makaroora. Kana mune vana, garai makaroora!”

Kunoda nguva kuda mwana. Makore akapfuura Robert Keeshan, mutepfenyuri wepurogiramu yavana yeterevhizheni, anodanwa kunzi Captain Kangaroo, akanyevera nezvemiuyo yokunyima nguva yenyu vana venyu. Akati:

“Mwana muduku anomirira, achiyamwa gunwe, akabata chidhori, nechinya chakati kuti, kusvika pamba kwomubereki. Anoda kurondedzera chinoitika chiduku chesandbox. Ane manyemwe okugoverana chinofadza chaaziva pazuva iroro. Nguva inosvika, mubereki anosvika. Apera simba nenhamo dzokubasa mubereki kazhinji kazhinji zvikuru anotaura kumwana kuti, ‘Kwete zvino, mudiwa. Ndakabatikana, enda undoona terevhizheni.’ Mashoko anotaurwa kazhinji kazhinji zvikurusa mudzimba dzeAmerica, ‘Ndakabatikana, enda undoona terevhizheni.’ Kana asiri zvino, ndirini? ‘Gare gare.’ Asi gare gare haawanzovapo . . .

“Makore anopfuura uye mwana anokura. Tinomupa zvidhori nezvipfeko. Tinomupa zvipfeko zvine chiratidzo chavagadziri uye siteriyo asi hatimupi icho iye anoda zvikurusa, nguva yedu. Ava nezera ramakore gumi namana, meso ake ane dzungu, abatanidzwa mune chimwe chinhu, zvimwe apindwa muropa nechikakananda. ‘Mudiwa, chii chiri kuitika? Taura neni, taura neni.’ Kwave kunyanyononoka. Kwave kunyanyononoka. Rudo rwatipfuura. . . .

“Apo tinotaura kumwana kuti, ‘Kwete zvino, gare gare.’ Apo tinotaura kuti, ‘Enda undoona TV.’ Apo tinotaura kuti, ‘Usabvunza mibvunzo mizhinji zvikuru.’ Apo tinokundikana kupa vechiduku vedu chimwe chinhu chavanoda kwatiri, nguva yedu. Apo tinokundikana kuda mwana. Hatizi vasingaitiri hanya. Takangonyanyobatikana hedu zvokusagona kuda mwana.”

Nguva Yakawanda Inodikanwa

Nharidzano haisati iri yokungopa bedzi “nguva yakanaka” inogoverwa mumigove yakayerwa; inofanira kubatanidzawo “nguva yakawanda.” Bhaibheri, iro rine uchenjeri hwakawanda kupfuura mabhuku ose akanyorwa pamusoro poruzivo rwendangariro, rinoti pana Dheuteronomio 6:6, 7, (NW), kuti: “Uye aya mashoko andinokuraira nhasi anofanira kubvumikisa kuva mumwoyo mako; uye unofanira kuapinza mumwanakomana wako uye kutaura nezvawo apo unogara mumba mako uye apo unofamba munzira uye apo unovata uye apo unomuka.” Unofanira kupinza mumwoyo wavana vako mipimo yechokwadi yeShoko raMwari iri mumwoyo mako. Kana uchirarama mukuwirirana nayo, mwana wako achaitevedzera.

Unoyeuka here chirevo chakanokorwa mundima yechipiri yenyaya yatangireyi? Hechino zvakare: “Rovedza mukomana mukuwirirana nenzira yake; kunyange apo iye anokura haasati achizotsauka pairi.” (Zvirevo 22:6, NW) Kunova kwechokwadi bedzi kana mipimo yokurovedza yaitwa kuti ipinde mukati, ndiko kuti, yapinzwa mukati make, yaitwa rutivi rwokufunga rwake, kunzwa kwake kwomwoyo, izvo zvaari mukati. Ikoku kunoitika bedzi kana iyi mipimo isina kungomudzidziswa bedzi navabereki vake asiwo yave ichishandiswa navabereki vake.

Akaipinza samararamiro. Azova mupimo wake womunhu oga uri rutivi rwake amene. Kurwisana nayo zvino kwaizova kusarwisana neizvo vabereki vake vakamudzidzisa asi neizvo iye amene ava. Aizova asiri wechokwadi kwaari amene. Aizova ari kuzviramba amene. (2 Timotio 2:13) Pane kusadisa kwomwoyo kwokuita izvi kwaari amene. Nokudaro, sezvingabvira haangatongo‘tsauki paiyi nzira’ yakapinzwa maari. Naizvozvo itai kuti vana venyu vapinze mufambiro wakanaka unobva kwamuri. Dzidzisai mutsa kupfurikidza nokuratidzira mutsa, tsika kupfurikidza nokudzishandisa kuita tsika, unyoro kupfurikidza nokuva munyoro, rutendeseko nokuva wapachokwadi kupfurikidza nokuzvienzanisira.

Gadziriro yaJehovha

Boka remhuri rakanga riri gadziriro yaJehovha nokuda kwomunhu kubvira pamavambo. (Genesi 1:26-28; 2:18-24) Pashure pamakore ane zviuru zvitanhatu zvenhau yomunhu, richiri kuzivikanwa serakaisvonakisisa nokuda kwavose vari vaviri vakuru navana, sezvinosimbiswa nebhuku rinonzi Secrets of Strong Families muna aya mashoko:

“Zvichida chimwe chinhu chakadzama matiri chinoziva kuti mhuri inheyo yepepuko. Zvichida tinoziva noruzivo rwomuzvarirwo kuti apo tinoitira hanya bedzi mhindu muupenyu haisati iri mari, basa, mukurumbira, imba yakaisvonaka, munda, kana kuti pfuma yezvinhu zviri zvinokosha—ndivo vanhu vari muupenyu hwedu avo vanoda uye vanotiitira hanya. Vanhu vari muupenyu hwedu vakaronzeswa kwatiri uye vatinogona kutsamira pavari nokuda kwetsigiro nebetsero ndivo vanokosha chaizvoizvo. Hakuna imwe nzvimbo ine bviro nokuda kworudo, tsigiro, tarisiro, uye musengwa nokuda kweizvo isu tose tinopanga inopfuura zvikuru iri mumhuri.”

Nokudaro, kunokosha kuva vanoshingaira uye kudyara rovedzo yakaisvonaka zvino mukati mamakore okuumbika kuti izvo zvamunocheka munguva yemberi zvigova, nokuda kwenyu mose muri vaviri imi navana venyu, upenyu hunofadza hwemhuri.—Enzanisira naZvirevo 3:1-7.

[Bhokisi riri papeji 30]

Ndoupi Mubereki Wandichava?

“Ndakawana maA maviri,” mukomana muduku akadanidzira kudaro, inzwi rake rizere nomufaro. Baba vake vakabvunza nomutoo wakajeka kuti, “Neiko usina kuwana akawanda?” “Amai, ndapedza kusuka ndiro,” musikana anotaura ari pamusuo weimba yokubikira. Amai vake noruteramo vanoti, “Warasa marara here?” “Ndacheka tsangadzi,” mukomana murefu anotaura kudaro, “uye ndarongedza muchina wokucheka tsangadzi.” Nechiratidzo chokuzunza mapfudzi baba vake vanomubvunza kuti, “Wachekererawo heji here?”

Vana vari muimba yakavakidzwanwa nayo vanoratidzika kuva vanofara navanogutsikana. Chinhu chimwe chetecho chakaitikawo ipapo, uye aya ndiwo maitikire achakaita:

“Ndakawana maA maviri,” mukomana muduku anodanidzira kudaro, inzwi rake rizere mufaro. Baba vake nomutoo worudado vanoti, “Zvakanaka kwazvo; ndinofara nokuti wakaita zvakanaka zvikuru.” “Amai, ndapedza kusuka ndiro,” musikana anotaura kudaro ari pamusuo weimba yokubikira. Amai vake vakanyemwerera uye nounyoro vanoti, “Ndinokuda zvikuru zuva rimwe nerimwe.” “Ndacheka tsangadzi,” mukomana murefu anotaura kudaro, “uye ndarongedza muchina wokucheka tsangadzi.” Baba vake nomufaro vanopindura kuti, “Wandiita kuti ndidade newe.”

Vana vanofanirwa nerumbidzo duku nokuda kwamabasa avanoita zuva rimwe nerimwe. Kana vachizorarama upenyu hunofadza, zvakawanda zvinotsamira pamuri.

[Mifananidzo iri papeji 27]

Baba vanokumbanira amai mumuitiro wechisungo

[Mufananidzo uri papeji 29]

Sezvo kufungidzira kunowedzera, mukomana anomhanya maoko akatambanudzwa zvakafara indege inobhururuka, katoni guru rinova musha nokuda kweimba yokutambira, muti womutsvairo unova bhiza rine simba, chigaro ndicho chigaro chomutyairi wemotokari yenhangemutange