Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .

Kutheni Ndikhula Ngokukhawuleza Kangaka?

“Xa ndandikwibanga lesine, ndandingoyena mde kumntu wonke. Oku kwakundenza ndizive ndineentloni. Ndandinomhlobo owayemfutshane ngokwenene ibe ndandimmonela.”—UAnnie.

“Ekubeni ndikhangeleka njengomntu oneminyaka elishumi elinesithandathu okanye elishumi elinesixhenxe ubudala, abantu abaninzi, kuquka nabazali bam, balindele ukuba ndenze izinto ngokomntu oqolileyo.”—UTanya, oneminyaka eli-12.

UKUFIKISA ebuntwini obukhulu—mhlawumbi inkoliso yethu esele igqithile kuko ibiya kukhetha ukuwalibala onke loo mava. Kuyamangalisa ibe kuyakhwankqisa. Ebudeni bokufikisa ebuntwini obukhulu, umzimba wakho utyhubela iinguqulelo ezikhawulezayo, ezingokweemvakalelo, ibe maxa wambi, ezibangel’ iintloni. Uhlaselwa ziimvakalelo, iintshukumisa neminqweno emitsha. Inkoliso yolutsha iyathuthuzeleka yinyaniso yokuba kwanoontanga balo batyhubela okufanayo. Noko ke, kolunye ulutsha, ukufikisa ebuntwini obukhulu kubonakala kufika ngokukhawuleza gqitha. Luzifumanisa lusiba neziqu ezikhulu, lusiba lude, lukhula ngakumbi, lukhangeleka lukhule ngakumbi kunabahlobo balo nakubantwana olufunda nabo.

Ukuba oku kwenzekile kuwe, usenokuthuthuzeleka kukwazi ukuba akukho nto ingaqhelekanga ngokuba sentlahleni ngokukhawuleza. Kumntu wonke inkqubo yokukhula ihamba ngomlinganiselo wayo, yaye mhlawumbi eyakho ikhawuleza ngakumbi kuneyoontanga bakho. Kaloku, enkwenkweni iinguqulelo zokufikisa ebuntwini obukhulu zinokuqalisa ubani eneminyaka nje elishumi ubudala, zize entombazaneni ziqalise ineminyaka nje esibhozo. Mhlawumbi kungekudala nabahlobo bakho baya kuqalisa ukuva iinguqulelo ezifanayo. Okwangoku usenokuba uneengxaki ekuhlangabezaneni nazo.

Iingenelo Neengxaki Zokuba Mde

Enye intombazana ekwishumi elivisayo yaxelela uVukani! oku: “Ndikhetha ukuba ngoyena mde kubantwana endifunda nabo. Abantu bayakuhlonela.” Uhlolisiso lubonisa ukuba ngokukhethekileyo amakhwenkwe akhawuleza akhule anandipha iingenelo ezininzi ezahlukeneyo kunoontanga bawo abangakhuli ngokukhawuleza. Incwadi ethi Adolescent Development, ebhalwe nguBarbara noPhilip Newman ithi: “Amakhwenkwe akhawulezayo ukukhula made ibe omelele kunoontanga bawo. . . . Amakhwenkwe amade, omeleleyo kunokwenzeka ngakumbi ukuba anikwe iimbopheleleko, ajongwe njengeenkokeli zoontanga bawo, nokuthathwa ngokungathi aqolile ngokwasengqondweni nangokomzimba.”

Noko ke, kwakhona ukukhawuleza ube mde ngokugqithiseleyo kuneengxaki zako. Phakathi kwezinye izinto, usenokuba sisigculelo seziqhulo ezikhohlakeleyo nezingapheliyo kubantwana ofunda nabo. Enye intombazana eselula yaxelela uVukani! oku: “Ndandiyeyona ntombazana isukileyo egadeni kubantwana endandifunda nabo. Babesithi ndiyi-‘Ngcotshololo.’” Umfana ogama linguDwayne ukhumbula oku: “Abantwana babendithiya amagama afana nelithi ‘Ngwamza.’ Maxa wambi babede babuze, ‘Injani imozulu ngentl’ apho?’”a

Apho kuba nzima ngokukhethekileyo kuxa imilenze yakho emide isilela ukusebenza kunye ngemvisiswano. (Thelekisa amaEfese 4:16.) UChristine ukhumbula oku ngeminyaka yakhe yeshumi elivisayo, “Ndandiyingotyongotyo, ebhityileyo nengafanelekiyo.” UDwayne wongezelela ngelithi, “Ndandingenabuchule kwezemidlalo. Kwakubonakala ngathi ukuba ingqondo yam ithumela umyalelo, imilenze yam iya kuwufumana kwisithuba esingangeveki kamva! Ndandingathandeki okwendlulamthi kwiiroller skates.” Qinisekiswa kukuba eli xesha libangel’ iintloni liqhelekile. Ethubeni liza kudlula. Kwakhona usenokufumanisa ukuba umlinganiselo ofanelekileyo ‘wengqeqesho yomzimba uyanceda.’ (1 Timoti 4:8) Okukhona uwusebenzisa umzimba wakho, kokukhona uya kuba ngolungelelene ngakumbi.

Kuthekani ngokuthiywa amagama nezithuko? Oku kusenokukuhendela ekubeni uziphindezele ngamazwi ahlabayo, kodwa iBhayibhile ithi: “Musa ukusiphendula isinyabi ngokokumatha kwaso, hleze usifuze.” (IMizekeliso 26:4) Ngaphezu koko, ekugqibeleni, kuphela ‘ukubuyekeza ububi ngobubi’ kuyenza imeko embi ibe mbi ngokugqithisileyo. (Roma 12:17) IBhayibhile ithi “ukuhleka kunexesha lako.” (INtshumayeli 3:4) Ukuhleka kunokukwenza ukwazi ukuhlangabezana namathuba okuziva uphoxekile.b

‘Bacinga Ukuba Ndimdadlana’

Maxa wambi ingxaki ikukuba, asingabo oontanga bakho, kodwa ngabantu abakhulu abacinga ukuba umdadlana kunokuba enyanisweni kunjalo. UDwayne ukhumbula oku: “Ndandidla ngokunyulwa phakathi kweqela njengomphathi, inkokeli. Ngesinye isihlandlo ndandikufuphi kwiqela labantwana, yaye baqalisa ukuphosa izinto besebhulorhweni. Kweza amapolisa yaye aqalisa ukundingxolisa kuba ndandingoyena mde kubo bonke. Kodwa kwakumnyama kum ngoko kwakuqhubeka.”

Maxa wambi, usenokuvuyiswa kukuphathwa ngokomntu okhulileyo. Ingxaki yile, ukukhula ngokomzimba kusenokukudlula lee ukukhula okungokwasengqondweni nokweemvakalelo. Phezu kwayo nje indlela okhangeleka ngayo, usenokucinga uze uqiqe, kungekhona ngokomntu omkhulu, kodwa ngokobudala okubo. (Thelekisa eyoku-1 kwabaseKorinte 13:11.) Ngoko xa abantu befuna ukuba wenze izinto zobuntu obukhulu, usenokungakwazi ukwenza oko bakulindeleyo.

Ngamaxesha athile kusenokufuneka ngokuzolileyo ubakhumbuze abahlobo kwanamalungu entsapho yakho ukuba awumdala ngendlela okhangeleka ngayo. IMizekeliso 15:22 ithi, “Iingcinga ziyatshitsha ngokungabikho kokucweya, ke zona zima ngamaphakathi amaninzi.” Ngoko ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba abazali bakho balindele okugqithiseleyo kuwe, thetha nabo ngokuzolileyo. Elinye iphephancwadi labakwishumi elivisayo lacebisa ukuba usenokuthi: “Ndiyazi ukuba ngenxa yokuba ndikhangeleka ndikhule ngokupheleleyo, kulula ukundilindela ukuba ndenze izinto zobudala. Kodwa ngaphakathi, ndikubudala bam bokwenene, yaye maxa wambi kunzima ukuba ndifikelele zonke izinto enilindele ukuba ndizenze nokuba ngumntu enilindele ukuba ndibe nguye.”

Musa ukwenza impazamo, yokuhambisela phambili inkohliso yokuba umdala ngokuthetha okanye uziphathe njengothile, okanye ngokunxiba nokuzilungisa ngendlela engabufanelanga ubudala okubo. Kakade ke, lumbi ulutsha olukhawulezileyo ukukhula lude lubatyeshele abantwana abakhangeleka bebancinane nabangabahlobo balo luze luzame ukuzifaka kwiqela labantu abadala kunalo! Kodwa kule nkalo lowo uzama ukuzifihla oko akuko unokuphelela ekubeni azive ehlazekile. (Thelekisa INdumiso 26:4.) Ekuhambeni kwexesha abanye baya kulubona uhanahaniso olwenzayo. Ngoko ke, ngobulumko iBhayibhile ithi, “bunabathozamileyo ubulumko.” (IMizekeliso 11:2; Mika 6:8) Umntu othozamileyo uyazazi iintsilelo zakhe.

Ukukhathazwa Ngokwesini

Kwakhona ngokufuthi ukuziphatha ngokuthozamileyo kunokukukhusela kwingxaki ajongana nayo ngokufuthi ngokukhethekileyo amantombazana akhule ngokukhawuleza: ukukhathazwa ngokwesini. Kwisihlandlo sexesha esikhawulezayo nesikhwankqisayo, umzimba wentombazana esencinane unokubonakala ngathi ngowomntu obhinqileyo onomtsalane. (Thelekisa INgoma yazo Iingoma 8:8, 10.) Ngoko, wambi amantombazana amancinane, ukuba namabele namadywantsi omntu obhinqileyo—eneneni—kunokuwabangel’ iintloni.

Umbhali uRuth Bell uthi: “Ngokukhethekileyo amantombazana asakhulayo achanabeke ekubeni nomtsalane emadodeni.” Enye intombazana eselula eneminyaka eli-12 ubudala egama linguDenise icacisa isithi: “Ekubeni ndikhule ngokupheleleyo ngokomzimba xa ndiphuma onke amehlo atsaleleka kum.” (Changing Bodies, Changing Lives) Abantwana ofunda nabo nabathanda ukwazi abangamantombazana nabangabafana basenokude bazame ukukuphatha kwindawo engafanelekanga. Akumangalisi ukuba incwadi ethi Adolescent Development isithi: “Abantwana ababhinqileyo abakhula ngokukhawuleza basenokuziyekelela, banxibe oowaxa, okanye babe neentloni baze babe ngoonkom’ idla yodwa ukuze baphephe ukuba oontanga babo baphawule inguqulelo eyenzeka kwimizimba yabo.”

Ngoxa unganyanzelekanga ukuba uzifihle phantsi kweempahla ozinxibayo, kusengqiqweni ukuphepha iimpahla neendlela zokuzilungisa ezivuselelayo okanye ezikutsalel’ amehlo. Oku kuvisisana nesiluleko seBhayibhile sokunxiba ‘uneentloni, unesidima.’—1 Timoti 2:9.

Kusenokubakho amanye amanyathelo asebenzisekayo onokuwathabatha. Mandulo phayaa kumaxesha okubhalwa kweBhayibhile, uRute wajamelana nokukhathazwa kakubi ngokwesini xa wayeye kusebenza kwintsimi kaBhohazi. Ngobubele uBhohazi ‘wayalela abafana ukuba bangamchukumisi.’ Nakuba kunjalo, wamlumkisa wenjenje: “Musa ukuya kubhikica ntsimini yimbi, . . . namathela wenjenje kumthinjana wam lo.” (Rute 2:8, 9) Ngokufanayo, wambi amantombazana aselula aye ahlala ekunye namanye amantombazana angamaKristu afunda nawo. Ayakuphepha ukuhamba odwa kwimimandla edume ngokuba nenkathazo.

Enokuba imeko injani, akukho namnye onemvume yokukukhathaza—nokuba kungezenzo okanye ngomlomo. Ukuba uneengxaki ngokuphathelele oku, thetha ngokuphandle nabazali bakho okanye umntu omkhulu omthembileyo. Basenokukunika amacebiso athile okanye basenokufak’ isandla ngandlel’ ithile ekupheliseni oku.

Kwanaphantsi kwezona meko zilunge ngakumbi, ukufikisa ebuntwini obukhulu lixesha elinzima ebomini. Ukuba mkhulu—okanye ukuba mncinane—kunabahlobo bakho kunokulenza libe nzima ngakumbi. Ngoko enoba ungazama kangakanani na, akukho nto ingako onokuyenza ngokukhula kwakho ngokomzimba. Kodwa unokuzibhokoxa ukuze ukhule ngokomoya. Yaye ukuba wenjenjalo njengoSamuweli wamaxesha okubhalwa kweBhayibhile, uya kuya ‘ukhula ngokukhula, uthandeka kuYehova nakubantu.’—1 Samuweli 2:26.

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 21]

Ngokufuthi ulutsha olude luba sisigculelo seziqhulo ezikhohlakeleyo