Ithemba Ngabagulayo

KWIXESHA elidluleyo, abantu bebebaphepha abo baneengxaki yeemvakalelo. Ngenxa yoko, abo bagulayo bebebangamalolo. Abanye bebephelelwa yimisebenzi. Abanye bebephetshwa ngamalungu entsapho. Oku bekudla ngokuyenza ibe nkulu le ngxaki yaye oko kuthintele abo bagulayo ekufumaneni uncedo.

Noko ke, kwiminyaka yakutshanje, kuye kwenziwa inkqubela ukuze kuqondwe ukudandatheka nesifo esiyibipolar. Ngoku kuyaziwa ukuba ezi zifo zinokunyangwa. Kodwa akusoloko kulula ukufumana uncedo. Ngoba?

Ukuqonda Iimpawu

Ingxaki yeemvakalelo ayibonwa egazini okanye kwi-X ray. Kunoko, kuphawulwa indlela umntu azenza ngayo izinto, acinga ngayo nenza ngayo izigqibo kangangexesha elithile. Kufuneka kubekho iimpawu eziliqela ukuze kubonwe ukuba loo mntu ugula yintoni. Ingxaki ikukuba maxa wambi amalungu entsapho nabahlobo abaqondi ukuba oko bakubonayo kububungqina bengxaki yeemvakalelo. UGq. David J. Miklowitz uthi: “Enoba abantu bayabona ukuba lo mntu akazenzi izinto ngendlela eqhelekileyo, basenokuba neembono ezahlukeneyo ngokuphathelele oko kubangela lo mntu abe kule meko.”

Ngaphezu koko, naxa amalungu entsapho evakalelwa kukuba le ngxaki inzulu, kusenokuba nzima ukweyisela lowo ugulayo ukuba ufuna uncedo lukagqirha. Okanye ukuba nguwe lo ugulayo, usenokungafuni ukufumana uncedo. UGq. Mark S. Gold ubhala esithi: “Mhlawumbi uyakukholelwa oko ukucingayo xa udandathekile—ukuba akuxabisekanga, ngoko kuza kunceda ntoni ukufuna uncedo xa kungekho themba ngomntu ofana nawe. Mhlawumbi ungathanda ukuthetha nothile ngako kodwa ucinga ukuba ukudandatheka yinto ebangela iintloni, yaye nguwe obekek’ ityala ngeemvakalelo zakho. . . . Mhlawumbi awazi ukuba udandathekile.” Sekunjalo, kubalulekile ukuba abo badandatheke ngokunzulu bafumane unyango.

Kakade ke, wonke umntu uyadakumba ngamaxesha athile, yaye oku akuthethi ukuba unengxaki yeemvakalelo. Kodwa kuthekani ukuba ezi mvakalelo asikokudakumba nje? Yaye kuthekani ukuba ziyaqhubeka kangangexesha elide ngokungaqhelekanga—mhlawumbi iiveki ezimbini okanye ezingaphezulu? Ngaphezu koko, masithi ukudandatheka kwakho kuyakuthintela ekwenzeni izinto eziqhelekileyo, emsebenzini, esikolweni okanye xa uphakathi kwabantu. Kwimeko enjalo, kusenokuba bubulumko ukubonana nengcali ethile eya kukwazi ukubona into ogula yiyo ize ikuncede kwingxaki onayo yokudandatheka.

Xa kukho ukungazinzi kwemichiza emzimbeni, kunokusetyenziswa unyango oluthile. Kwezinye iimeko, kusenokufuneka umntu athethe nesazi ngesi sifo nendlela yokuhlangabezana nale ngxaki. Ngamanye amaxesha, xa zisetyenziswe zombini ezi ndlela zidla ngokuba nemiphumo emihle.a Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukufuna uncedo. ULenore, onesifo esiyibipolar okhankanywe kwinqaku elandulelayo uthi: “Abantu abaninzi abanesi sifo bayoyika yaye baneentloni ngale meko bakuyo. Eyona nto ibuhlungu kukuba, uyarhana ukuba unengxaki uze ungafuni ncedo nto leyo efuneka ngamandla.”

ULenore uthetha ngoko kwamehlelayo. Uthi: “Ndandilele ngandletyana nye unyaka wonke. Ndandula ke, ngenye imini xa ndandiziva ndinamandla, ndagqiba kwelokuba nditsale umnxeba ukuze ndiye kubona ugqirha.” Kwafunyaniswa ukuba uLenore unesifo esiyibipolar, waza wanikwa amayeza. Oku kwabuguqula ubomi bakhe. ULenore uthi: “Ndiziva ndiphilile xa ndisele amayeza am, nangona kusafanele ndizikhumbuze ukuba xa ndiwayeka, zonke eza mpawu zangaphambili ziza kubuya.”

Kukwanjalo nangoBrandon, onengxaki yokudandatheka. Uthi: “Xa ndandikwishumi elivisayo ndandidla ngokufuna ukuzibulala kuba ndivakalelwa ndingento yanto. Ndaya kubona ugqirha emva kokuba ndineminyaka engama-30 ubudala.” NjengoLenore, uBrandon usela amayeza ukuze ahlangabezane nesi sifo, kodwa kukho nokunye akwenzayo. Uthi: “Ukuze ndihlale ndiphilile ndinyamekela ingqondo nomzimba wam. Ndiphumla ngokwaneleyo yaye ndiyakulumkela oko ndikutyayo. Kwakhona ndihlala ndicinga ngezinto ezakhayo eziseBhayibhileni.”

Noko ke, uBrandon uthi ukudandatheka ngokunzulu sisifo—kungathethi ukuba ubani ugula ngokomoya. Kubalulekile ukukuqonda oku ukuze uchache. UBrandon uthi: “Ngenye imini omnye umKristu oneenjongo ezintle wathi ekubeni amaGalati 5:22, 23 esithi uvuyo sisiqhamo somoya oyingcwele kaThixo, kusenokwenzeka ukuba ndidandathekile kuba kukho endikwenzayo okuphazamisa loo moya. Oko kwandenza ndaziva ndinetyala yaye ndidandatheke nangakumbi. Kodwa ukuqala kwam ukufumana uncedo, ndaqalisa ukuyeka ukudandatheka. Ndaziva ndibhetele nakakhulu! Akwaba ngendandilufumene uncedo kusengaphambili.”

Indlela Yokoyisa Esi Sifo

Kwanaxa sele sifunyanisiwe esi sifo yaye umntu sele esebenzisa amayeza, kusenokwenzeka ukuba iingxaki yeemvakalelo iya kuhlala iqhubeka kulowo ugulayo. UKelly, onengxaki yokudandatheka ngokunzulu, unombulelo ngoncedo alufumene kwingcali ukuze akwazi ukuhlangabezana nemeko yakhe. Noko ke, ukongezelela, uye wafumanisa ukuba kubalulekile ukufumana inkxaso kwabanye. Ekuqaleni, uKelly wayemadolw’ anzima ukufuna uncedo kwabanye kuba wayengafuni ukuba ngumthwalo. Uthi: “Kwakufuneka ndingafundi nje ukufuna uncedo kodwa kwakhona ndilwamkele. Kuphela kuxa ndakwazi ukuthetha nabanye endathi ndakwazi ukuyeka ukudandatheka.”

Njengomnye wamaNgqina kaYehova, uKelly uya kwiintlanganiso namanye amakholwa kwiHolo yoBukumkani. Noko ke, maxa wambi nezi zihlandlo zimnandi zisenokuba yingxaki. “Ngokufuthi izibane, ukuhambahamba kwabantu, nengxolo zinokongamela. Ndandule ke ndizive ndinetyala, ndize ndidandatheke kakhulu kuba ndivakalelwa kukuba ndigula ngenxa yokuba ndingomelelanga ngokomoya.” UKelly uhlangabezana njani nale meko? Uthi: “Ndiye ndafunda ukuba ukudandatheka kusisigulo ekufanele ndihlangabezane naso. Oku akubonisi uthando endinalo ngoThixo okanye abazalwana bam abangamaKristu. Akubonisi ngokwenene ukuba ndomelele kangakanani na ngokomoya.”

ULucia, okhankanywe kolu ngcelele lwamanqaku, unombulelo ngoncedo lonyango aye walufumana. Uthi: “Kuye kwabaluleka kakhulu kum ukuba ndifumane uncedo kwingcali ukuze ndikwazi ukuhlangabezana nengxaki yeemvakalelo ezibangelwa sesi sifo.” Kwakhona uLucia ugxininisa indlela ekuxabiseke ngayo ukuphumla ngokwaneleyo. Uthi: “Kubaluleke kakhulu ukulala ngokwaneleyo ukuze uhlangabezane nokudlamka gqitha. Okukhona ndingalali ngokwaneleyo, kokukhona ndigula kakhulu. Kwanaxa ndisenokuphuthelwa, kunokuba ndiphakame ndiye ndaziqeqesha ukuba ndilale ndize ndiphumle.”

USheila, naye okhankanywe ngaphambilana, uye wakufumanisa kuluncedo ukugcina ingxelo yosuku nosuku apho anokubhala kuyo indlela avakalelwa ngayo. Uye waphawula ukuba indlela azijonga ngayo izinto iya iba bhetele. Sekunjalo, zisekho ezinye iingxaki. USheila uthi: “Ngenxa yesinye isizathu, ukudinwa kundibangela ndibe neemvakalelo ezidimazayo. Kodwa ndiye ndafunda ukuziphelisa okanye ndingazinanzi.”

Intuthuzelo Evela KwiLizwi LikaThixo

IBhayibhile iyabomeleza abantu abaninzi abanengxaki ‘yeengcamango eziphazamisayo.’ (INdumiso 94:17-19, 22) Ngokomzekelo, uCherie wafumanisa ukuba INdumiso 72:12, 13 ilukhuthazo ngokukhethekileyo. Apho, umdumisi uthi ngoKumkani omiselwe nguThixo, uYesu Kristu: “Uya kumhlangula lowo ulihlwempu ukhalela uncedo, kwanalowo uxhwalekileyo nabani na ongenamncedi. Uya kuba nosizi ngesisweli nangehlwempu, nemiphefumlo yabangamahlwempu uya kuyisindisa.” Kwakhona uCherie wakhuthazwa ngamazwi kampostile uPawulos abhalwe kumaRoma 8:38, 39 athi: “Ndeyisekile kukuba nakufa nabomi nazingelosi narhulumente nazinto zilapha ngoku nazinto zizayo namandla nakuphakama nabunzulu naso nasiphi na esinye isidalwa aziyi kuba nako ukusahlula eluthandweni lukaThixo.”

UElaine, onesifo esiyibipolar, uthi kuyamnceda kakhulu ukuba nolwalamano noThixo. Amazwi omdumisi amthuthuzela ngokwenene: “Intliziyo eyaphukileyo netyumkileyo, Thixo, akuyi kuyidela.” (INdumiso 51:17) Uthi: “Kuye kwandithuthuzela ngokwenene ukwazi ukuba uBawo wethu wasemazulwini onothando, uYehova uyaziqonda iimvakalelo zam. Kuye kwandomeleza ukusondela kuye ngomthandazo, ingakumbi ngamaxesha okunxunguphala nokudandatheka.”

Njengoko kunokubonwa, ukuba neengxaki yeemvakalelo kulucelomngeni. Noko ke, uCherie noElaine bafumanisa ukuba ukuthembela kuThixo ngomthandazo nokufumana unyango olufanelekileyo kuye kwabanceda ebomini. Kodwa amalungu entsapho nabahlobo banokubanceda njani abo banesifo esiyibipolar okanye abadandathekileyo?

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 10]

“Ukuqala kwam ukufumana uncedo, ndaqalisa ukuyeka ukudandatheka. Ndaziva ndibhetele nakakhulu!”—UBRANDON

[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 9]

Oko Kuphawulwe Lelinye Iqabane

“Ngaphambi kokuba uLucia agule, wayenceda abantu abaninzi ngolwazi olunzulu awayenalo. Kwanangoku xa abantu betyelele umfazi wam xa ezolile, batsaleleka kuye ngenxa yobubele bakhe. Into inkoliso yabantu engayaziyo kukuba uLucia udla ngokudandatheka ngokunzulu aze adlamke gqitha. Oku kubangelwa sisifo esiyibipolar, isifo ebenaso kangangeminyaka emine edluleyo.

“Xa edlamke gqitha, asinto ingaqhelekanga ngoLucia ukuhlala kude kubethe intsimbi yokuqala, yesibini okanye yesithathu ekuseni, ecinga ngezinto ezintsha afuna ukuzenza. Uhlala edlamkile. Ucatshukiswa zizinto ezincinane aze achithe imali ethenga yonke into le. Uya kuya kwezona ndawo ziyingozi, esithi akanakoyiswa yinto, esithi akukho ngozi—ngokuziphatha, emzimbeni okanye ngezinye iindlela. Kanye xa esenza oku udla ngokufuna ukuzibulala. Emva kokudlamka gqitha udla ngokudandatheka, yaye udandatheka ngendlela efanayo naxa edlamke gqitha.

“Ubomi bam buye batshintsha ngendlela ephawulekayo. Kwanaxa uLucia esele amayeza, izinto esinokuzenza namhlanje zisenokwahluka kunezo esizenze izolo okanye esiza kuzenza ngomso. Izinto ziyatshintsha njengoko iimeko zitshintsha. Ndimele ndizinyanzele ukuba ndibe bhetyebhetye kunoko ndandicinga.”—UMario.

[Ibhokisi/Umfanekiso okwiphepha 11]

Xa Ubani Efanele Asebenzise Amayeza

Bambi bacinga ukuba xa besebenzisa amayeza oko kuthetha ukuba babuthathaka. Kodwa khawucinge ngale ndlela: Umntu onesifo seswekile ufanele afumane unyango oluthile, nto leyo enokuthetha ukuhlaba inaliti yesifo seswekile. Ngaba oku kuthetha ukuba lo mntu kukho into asilela kuyo? Akunjalo! Oku kuthetha nje ukufumana izondlo ngokulungeleleneyo emzimbeni ukuze lowo ugulayo ahlale esempilweni.

Oku kuyafana nokusebenzisa amayeza anceda abantu abadandathekileyo nabanesifo esiyibipolar. Nangona abantu baye bafumana uncedo ngokuthetha nengcali ethile ukuze basiqonde isigulo sabo, kusafuneka ubani alumke. Xa kubandakanyeke ukungalungelelani kwemichiza, umntu akanakusuka nje ayeke ukugula ngokuthi uqiqe naye. USteven, onebipolar, uthi: “Ugqirha wam owayendinyanga wakuzekelisa oku ngale ndlela: Unokufundisa umntu yonke into ngokuqhuba, kodwa ukuba unika umntu imoto ngaphandle kwevili lokuqhuba okanye iziqhoboshi zemoto, ngoko oko umfundise kona akusayi kumnceda nganto. Ngokufanayo, ukuthetha kuphela ngolwazi onalo nomntu odandathekileyo kunokungamncedi nganto. Ukulungelelanisa imichiza yengqondo linyathelo lokuqala elibalulekileyo.”

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 10]

IBhayibhile iyabomeleza abantu abaninzi abaneengxaki yeemvakalelo