Nceda Abazali Abangenaqabane Lomtshato

BAMBALWA abantu abaxakeke njengabazali abangenaqabane lomtshato. Zininzi gqitha iingxaki zabo. Kufuneka banyamekele iintsapho zabo. Ngaphandle kwempangelo, kufuneka aye kuthenga izinto evenkileni, apheke, acoce, anyamekele indlu aze aqeqeshe nabantwana. Ukongezelela kwezi zinto zikhankanywe ngasentla, kufuneka anyamekele impilo yabantwana, aqiniseke ukuba bayonwaba aze ukuba kunokwenzeka, aqiniseke ukuba unexesha lokuba yedwa.

Nangona iintsapho ezinomzali omnye zisiya zisanda, kulula ukungazinanzi. Omnye umama owayengenaqabane wavuma ukuba, “Ndandingayiqondi kakuhle imeko yabo ndade nam andabi naqabane.” Yintoni onokuyenza ukuze uncede abazali abangenaqabane? Ngaba umele uzikhathaze ngabo? Makhe sihlole izizathu ezithathu zokunikela ingqalelo kwiimfuno zabo.

Izizathu Zokubanceda

Abazali abaninzi abangenaqabane bayalufuna uncedo. Omnye umhlolokazi oneminyaka engama-41 nonabantwana ababini uthi: “Kubakho amaxesha apho ndingazi ukuba mandenze ntoni yaye ziyandongamela izinto ezininzi ezifuna mna.” Ukubhujelwa liqabane, ukushiywa okanye ezinye iimeko ezingathandekiyo ziye zabangela ukuba abazali abaninzi abangenaqabane bavakalelwe ngendlela efanayo naleyo yomnye umama. Wathi: “Sifuna isiqabu ngokukhawuleza!”

Kukuzisela ulonwabo nawe. Ngaba wakha wanceda umntu osindwa ngumthwalo? Ukuba kunjalo, umel’ ukuba waziva wanelisekile kukwazi ukuba uye wanceda omnye umntu. Ngendlela efanayo, abazali abangenamaqabane bathwele imithwalo enzima. Xa ubanceda, uya kubuqonda ubunyaniso bamazwi akwiNdumiso 41:1 athi: “Unoyolo nabani na onikela ingqalelo kwisisweli.”

UThixo uyakholiswa yiloo nto. UYakobi 1:27 uthi: “Unqulo oluhlambulukileyo nolungadyobhekanga ngokwembono kaThixo noBawo wethu lulo olu: ukuvelela iinkedama nabahlolokazi embandezelweni yabo.” Oku kuquka ukunyamekela abazali abangenamaqabane.a AmaHebhere 13:16 athi: “Musani ukulibala ukwenza okulungileyo nokwabelana ngezinto nabanye, kuba uThixo uyakholiswa yimibingelelo enjalo.”

Njengoko sele sibone ezi zizathu zithathu zokunceda abazali abangenamaqabane, makhe sibone ukuba yintoni onokuyenza ukuze ubancede neendlela onokubanceda ngazo.

Ukuqonda Iintswelo Zabo

Ngokuqhelekileyo abantu badla ngokubuza umzali ongenaqabane, “Ndingakunceda ngantoni?” Kunqabile ukuba umntu akuchazele ingxaki yakhe xa umbuza ngale ndlela. Njengoko besele kutshiwo ngaphambili, iNdumiso 41:1 ikhuthaza ‘ukunikela ingqalelo.’ Enye imbekiselo ithi igama lesiHebhere elisetyenziswe apha linokuthetha “ukuzikisa ukucinga uze ekugqibeleni wenze isigqibo sobulumko.”

Ngoko ukuze ukwazi ukunceda, kufuneka ucingisise ngeengxaki zomzali ongenaqabane. Yiba nomqwalasela, mus’ ukuyikha phezulu imeko yakhe. Zibuze oku, ‘Ukuba bendikuloo meko, luluphi uncedo ebendiya kulufuna?’ Kakade ke, abazali abaninzi abangenaqabane baya kukuxelela ukuba, nokuba ungazama kangakanani, awunakuze ukuqonde ukuba kunjani ukuba ngumzali ongenaqabane de nawe ube nguye. Nakuba kunjalo, xa usenza unako nako ukuze uqonde imeko yabo uya kukwazi ‘ukunikela ingqalelo’ kubazali abangenaqabane.

Xelisa Umzekelo KaThixo Ogqibeleleyo

Akakho umntu oye wanyamekela abazali abangenamaqabane ngokunothando nangenkathalo njengoYehova uThixo. Zininzi izibhalo ezibonisa ukuxhalabela kukaYehova uThixo abahlolokazi, amakhwenkwe angenayise, ngaloo ndlela abazali abangenamaqabane. Xa sihlola indlela uYehova aye wabanyamekela ngayo, sinokufunda okungakumbi ngendlela yokubanceda. Zine iindlela esiza kuziqwalasela.

Baphulaphule

KuMthetho awawunika amaSirayeli mandulo, uYehova wathi wayeya ‘kusiva ngenene isikhalo’ sabo baxhwalekileyo. (Eksodus 22:22, 23) Ungawuxelisa njani lo mzekelo mhle? Abazali abangenamaqabane basenokuziva bengamalolo kuba bengenamntu mdala abanokuthetha naye. Omnye umzalikazi wathi, “Xa abantwana beye kulala, maxa wambi ndiye ndilile kakhulu. Ukuba lilolo kuba luxanduva maxa wambi.” Ukuba kunokwenzeka, ngaba unokukwazi ‘ukusiva isikhalo’ somzali ongenaqabane xa ephalaza imbilini yakhe kuwe? Ukumphulaphula kwakho phantsi kweemeko ezifanelekileyo kunokumnceda akwazi ukujamelana neengxaki zokukhulisa abantwana yedwa.

Bakhuthaze

UYehova waphefumlela ukuba kubhalwe amaculo neendumiso ezaziza kuculwa ngamaSirayeli xa kunqulwa. Unokuyithelekelela indlela ababekhuthazeka ngayo abahlolokazi namakhwenkwe angenayise xa becula iingoma ezibakhumbuza ukuba uYehova ‘unguyise nomgwebi’ wabo nokuba wayeza kubanceda. (INdumiso 68:5; 146:9) Nathi sinokubakhuthaza abazali abangenamaqabane ngamazwi abaya kuwakhumbula ixesha elide. Nangona sele kudlule amashumi amabini eminyaka, uRuth ongumzali ongenaqabane usakhumbula amazwi omnye utata owathi kuye: “Ubakhulisa kakuhle oonyana bakho ababini. Ungadinwa.” URuth uthi: “Ukuva loo mazwi kwandikhuthaza kakhulu.” Kakade ke, “amazwi amnandi ayahlaziya” yaye anokukhuthaza umzali ongenaqabane ngendlela emangalisayo. (IMizekeliso 15:4, Contemporary English Version) Ngaba ikhona into entle onokumncoma ngayo umzali ongenaqabane?

Nceda ngezinto eziphathekayo xa kuyimfuneko

UMthetho kaYehova kuSirayeli wamandulo wawunelungiselelo lokunceda abahlolokazi namakhwenkwe angenayise ngokutya ngendlela enesidima. Loo malungiselelo ayebanceda aba bantu “badle . . . banele.” (Duteronomi 24:19-21; 26:12, 13) Nathi sinokukwazi ukumnceda umzali ongenaqabane ngendlela enesidima. Ngaba unokumthengela ukutya? Ngaba ikhona impahla onokumombulela yona okanye abantwana bakhe? Okanye ngaba unokumpha imali anokuthenga ngayo izinto ezisweleyo intsapho?

Babuthele

UYehova wayalela ukuba abahlolokazi namakhwenkwe angenayise abe khona kwimithendeleko yakwaSirayeli eyayisenziwa minyaka le. Baxelelwa ukuba: ‘Nize nibe nemihlali.’ (Duteronomi 16:10-15) Ngendlela efanayo namhlanje amaKristu abongozwa ukuba ‘abukane’ aze abuthelane. (1 Petros 4:9) Kutheni ungammemeli esidlweni umzali ongenaqabane? Akuyomfuneko ukuba sibe sisihikahika. UYesu wathi xa wayendwendwele abahlobo bakhe: “Zizinto ezimbalwa, ezifunekayo, okanye inye kuphela.”—Luka 10:42.

Baya Kuluxabisa Uncedo Lwakho

UKathleen, umzali ongenaqabane owakhulisa abantwana abathathu, uthi akasoze alilibale eli cebiso lobulumko, “Ungalindeli nto; yiba noxabiso.” NjengoKathleen, abazali abaninzi abangenamaqabane bayaluqonda uxanduva abanalo lokukhulisa abantwana. Ngenxa yoko abalindelanga into yokuba abanye babenzele izinto abafanele bazenze ngokwabo. Nakuba kunjalo, akuthandabuzeki ukuba bayaluxabisa uncedo. Unokuba negalelo kwimpilo nakulonwabo lwabo ngokubanceda abazali abangenamaqabane, uqinisekile ukuba uYehova uThixo uya “kukuvuza ngoko ukwenzileyo.”—IMizekeliso 19:17, New Century Version.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 24]

Wagqibela nini ukukhe umemele esidlweni intsapho enomzali ongenaqabane? Kutheni ungakwenzi ngokukhawuleza oku?