Isahluko 6
Nceda Okwishumi Elivisayo Aphumelele
1, 2. Luluphi ucelomngeni novuyo olunokuziswa yiminyaka yeshumi elivisayo?
XA EKHAYA kukho okwishumi elivisayo akufani naxa kukho umntwana oneminyaka emihlanu ubudala okanye elishumi. Iminyaka yeshumi elivisayo inocelomngeni neengxaki zayo, kodwa inako nokuzisa uvuyo nemivuzo. Imizekelo enjengoYosefu, uDavide, uYosiya noTimoti ibonisa ukuba abantu abaselula banokuyithwala imbopheleleko baze babe nolwalamano oluhle noYehova. (Genesis 37:2-11; 1 Samuweli 16:11-13; 2 Kumkani 22:3-7; IZenzo 16:1, 2) Abaninzi abakwishumi elivisayo namhlanje nabo bakungqina kuyinyaniso oku. Usenokuba uyabazi abanye babo.
2 Ukanti, abanye iminyaka yeshumi elivisayo iba bubutyobo bodwa. Abafikisayo badibana namahlandinyuka. Amakhwenkwe namantombazana akwishumi elivisayo asenokufuna ukuzimela geqe, yaye asenokungafuni nokuyibona imiqathango ayibekelwa ngabazali bawo. Ukanti, olo lutsha alukabi namava yaye kusafuneka luncedwe ngothando nangomonde ngabazali balo. Ewe, iminyaka yeshumi elivisayo isenokubangel’ umdla, kanti kwakhona isenokuba yedidayo—kubazali nakwabo bakwishumi elivisayo. Ulutsha lunokuncedwa njani ebudeni bale minyaka?
3. Yiyiphi indlela abazali abanokunika umntwana wabo ofikisayo ithuba elihle ebomini?
3 Abazali abalandela isiluleko seBhayibhile banika umntwana wabo ofikisayo ithuba elihle lokuphumelela kwezo zilingo abe ngumntu omkhulu onenkathalo. Kuwo onke amazwe nangawo onke amaxesha, abazali nabakwishumi elivisayo abasebenzisa imigaqo yeBhayibhile baye basikelelwa ngempumelelo.—INdumiso 119:1.
UNXIBELELWANO OLUNYANISEKILEYO NOLUKHULULEKILEYO
4. Kutheni ukuphalazelana izimvo kubaluleke ngokukhethekileyo ebudeni beminyaka yeshumi elivisayo?
4 IBhayibhile ithi: “Iingcinga ziyatshitsha ngokungabikho kokucweya [kokuphalazelana izimvo, NW].” (IMizekeliso 15:22) Ukuba ukuphalazelana izimvo kwakufuneka ngoxa abantwana babesebancinane, kubaluleke gqitha xa ekwishumi elivisayo—xa abaselula bengachithi xesha lingako besekhaya kodwa bechitha elingakumbi nabahlobo babo esikolweni okanye nezinye izinxulumani. Ukuba abantwana nabazali abaphalazelani izimvo—abanxibelelani ngokunyanisekileyo nangokukhululekileyo—abakwishumi elivisayo basenokuba ngathi balahlekile xa besekhaya. Ngoko ningenza njani ukuze amathuba okunxibelelana ahlale evulekile?
5. Abakwishumi elivisayo bakhuthazwa ukuba bakujonge njani ukunxibelelana nabazali babo?
5 Abakwishumi elivisayo nabazali bamele baphumeze indima yabo koku. Liyinyaniso elokuba, abafikisayo basenokuba madolw’ anzima ngakumbi ukuthetha nabazali babo kunaxa babenjalo besebancinane. Sekunjalo, khumbula ukuba “kwakuba kungekho mbonisi, bayawa abantu; usindiso lusebuninzini bamaphakathi.” (IMizekeliso 11:14) La mazwi asebenza kumntu wonke, omncinane nomkhulu. Abakwishumi elivisayo abakulandelayo oku baya kuqonda ukuba basakufuna ukuboniswa, ekubeni bejamelene nemibandela enzima ngakumbi kunakuqala. Bamele bavume ukuba abazali babo abakholwayo bakufanelekela kakuhle ukuba ngabacebisi kuba banamava ngakumbi ebomini ibe baye bazingqina bebathanda yaye bebaxhalabele kangangeminyaka emininzi. Ngenxa yoko, kweli nqanaba lobomi babo, abakwishumi elivisayo abalumkileyo abayi kubanikel’ umva abazali babo.
6. Sisiphi isimo sengqondo abazali abalumkileyo nabanothando abamele babe naso xa benxibelelana nabakwishumi elivisayo?
6 Ukunxibelelana ngokukhululekileyo kuthetha ukuba umzali uya kuzipha ithuba xa okwishumi elivisayo efuna ukuthetha ngokuthile. Ukuba ungumzali, qiniseka ukuba wena usoloko ukukhululekele ukunxibelelana. Oku kusenokungabi lula. IBhayibhile ithi “ukuthi cwaka kunexesha lako, ukuthetha kunexesha lako.” (INtshumayeli 3:7) Xa oselula evakalelwa kukuba lixesha lokuthetha kuye, isenokuba lixesha lokuthi cwaka kuwe elo. Mhlawumbi elo xesha ubulibekele ufundisiso lobuqu, ukuphumla, okanye ukusebenza ekhaya. Sekunjalo, ukuba oselula ufuna ukuthetha nawe, zama ukutshintsha obukucebile uze uphulaphule. Kungenjalo, usenokungaze aphinde azame ukuthetha nawe. Khumbula umzekelo kaYesu. Ngesinye isihlandlo, wayezimisele ukuphumla. Kodwa xa abantu bathontelana apho beze kumphulaphula, wayeka ukuphumla waza wabafundisa. (Marko 6:30-34) Inkoliso yabakwishumi elivisayo iyaqonda ukuba abazali bayo baxakekile, kodwa kufuneka abazali bayo bayiqinisekise ukuba basoloko bekulungele ukuyinceda. Ngenxa yoko, ziphe ithuba uze ube ngoqondayo.
7. Yintoni ekufuneka bayiphephe abazali?
7 Zama ukukhumbula ukuba kwakunjani kuwe usekwishumi elivisayo, yaye musa ukuzithabatha nzulu zonke izinto! Abazali kufuneka bakunandiphe ukuba kunye nabantwana babo. Abazali balisebenzisa njani ixesha abangenzi nto ngalo? Ukuba basoloko bethanda ukuchitha elo xesha besenza izinto ezingaquki intsapho yabo, abakwishumi elivisayo baya kukhawuleza bakubone oko. Ukuba abafikisayo bakhe bafumanisa ukuba abahlobo babo basesikolweni babakhathalele ngaphezu kwabazali babo, iqalile ke inkathazo.
IZINTO ENIMELE NINXIBELELANE NGAZO
8. Abantwana bangakufundiswa njani ukuxabisa ukunyaniseka, ukuzibhokoxa emsebenzini nehambo efanelekileyo?
8 Ukuba abazali abakabafundisi abantwana babo ukuxabisa ukunyaniseka nokuzibhokoxa emsebenzini, bafanele bakwenze oko nakanjani na xa bekwishumi elivisayo. (1 Tesalonika 4:11; 2 Tesalonika 3:10) Kwakhona kubalulekile ukuba baqinisekise ukuba abantwana babo bakukholelwa ngentliziyo iphela ukubaluleka kokuphila ubomi bokuziphatha okuhle nobucocekileyo. (IMizekeliso 20:11) Kule mibandela umzali unxibelelana kakhulu nabantwana ngokuba ngumzekelo. Kanye njengokuba amadoda angakholwayo ‘esenokuzuzeka ngehambo yabafazi,’ nabakwishumi elivisayo banokufunda imigaqo emihle ngehambo yabazali babo. (1 Petros 3:1) Sekunjalo, umzekelo uwodwa awanele, ekubeni ikho neminye imizekelo emibi emininzi ebukelwe ngabantwana yaye kukho nezinye iingcamango ezingatshongo khona ngaphandle kwekhaya. Ngoko ke, abazali abanenkathalo kufuneka bazazi iimbono zabantwana babo ngoko bakubonayo nabakuvayo, yaye oku kufuna nibe nencoko enentsingiselo.—IMizekeliso 20:5.
9, 10. Kutheni abazali befanele baqinisekise ukuba bayabafundisa abantwana babo ngemibandela engesini, yaye banokukwenza njani oku?
9 Oku kufuneka kakhulu kwimibandela yesini. Bazali, ngaba nineentloni ukuxubusha imibandela engesini nabantwana benu? Nokuba nineentloni, yenzani umgudu wokuthetha ngaso, kuba ngokuqinisekileyo abantwana benu baza kufunda ngaso komnye umntu. Ukuba abafundiswa nini, nazi njani ukuba abazi kufumana nkcazelo egqwethekileyo? EBhayibhileni, uYehova akanazintloni zokuthetha ngemibandela engesini, nabazali bafanele babe njalo.—IMizekeliso 4:1-4; 5:1-21.
10 Okuvuyisayo kukuba iBhayibhile inokhokelo olucacileyo kumbandela wesini, yaye iWatchtower Society ipapashe inkcazelo eninzi eluncedo ebonisa ukuba olu khokelo lusasebenza nakwihlabathi lanamhlanje. Kutheni ungasebenzisi olu ncedo? Ngokomzekelo, kutheni ungaxubushi nonyana okanye intombi yakho ngezahluko ezifanelekileyo kuMqulu 1 nowesi-2 wencwadi ethi Imibuzo Yabantu Abaselula—Iimpendulo Eziluncedo? Usengabamb’ ongezantsi yimiphumo yokwenjenjalo.
11. Yiyiphi eyona ndlela iphumelelayo abanokuyisebenzisa abazali ekufundiseni abantwana babo ukukhonza uYehova?
11 Nguwuphi owona mbandela ubalulekileyo abazali nabantwana abafanele bawuxubushe? Umpostile uPawulos wayethetha ngawo xa wabhala oku: “Qhubekani nibakhulisela [abantwana benu] kwingqeqesho nasekweyiselweni kwengqondo kuYehova.” (Efese 6:4) Abantwana kufuneka baqhubeke befunda ngoYehova. Okubalulekileyo kukuba, kufuneka bafunde ukumthanda, yaye bafanele bazifunele ukumkhonza. Nalapha, banokufundiswa lukhulu ngomzekelo. Ukuba abakwishumi elivisayo babona abazali babo bemthanda uThixo “ngentliziyo yabo iphela nangomphefumlo wabo uphela nangengqondo yabo iphela” kuze oku kube nemiphumo emihle kubomi babazali babo, nabo basenokwasuleleka balandele ekhondweni. (Mateyu 22:37) Ngokufanayo, ukuba abaselula babona abazali babo benembono elungeleleneyo ngezinto eziphathekayo, bebeka uBukumkani bukaThixo kuqala, nabo baya kuncedakala babe neso simo sengqondo.—INtshumayeli 7:12; Mateyu 6:31-33.
12, 13. Ziziphi iingongoma ezimele zikhunjulwe ukuze ubomi bentsapho buphumelele?
12 Isifundo sentsapho seBhayibhile seeveki ngeeveki silolona ncedo lubalaseleyo ekunxibelelaneni ngezinto zokomoya nabantu abaselula. (INdumiso 119:33, 34; IMizekeliso 4:20-23) Ukusiqhuba rhoqo eso sifundo kubalulekile. (INdumiso 1:1-3) Abazali nabantwana bafanele baqonde ukuba zonke ezinye izinto zimele zize emva kwesifundo sentsapho, zingezi kuqala kunaso. Ngaphezu koko, kubalulekile ukuba nibe nesimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo ukuze isifundo sentsapho siphumelele. Omnye ubawo wathi: “Imfihlelo kukuba oqhuba isifundo sentsapho abenze bakhululeke sekunjalo basihlonele abo abaqhubelayo—sibe mnandi kodwa singabi yindawo yokudlala. Kusenokungasoloko kulula ukulungelelana, yaye isimo sengqondo sabaselula siya kusoloko sifuna ukunqwanqwandwa. Ukuba uyoyisakala isihlandlo esinye okanye ezibini, nyamezela uze uzame kwixa elizayo.” Kwalo bawo wathi xa ethandaza ngaphambi kwesifundo ngasinye, umcela ngokungqalileyo uYehova abenze babe nembono efanelekileyo bonke abakhoyo.—INdumiso 119:66.
13 Ukuqhuba isifundo sentsapho yimbopheleleko yabazali abakholwayo. Liyinyaniso elokuba abanye abazali basenokungabi nasiphiwo sakufundisa, yaye kusenokuba nzima kubo ukufumana iindlela zokwenza isifundo sibangel’ umdla. Sekunjalo, ukuba uyabathanda abakwishumi elivisayo “ngesenzo nenyaniso,” uya kuba nomnqweno wokubanceda ngokuthobeka nangokunyanisekileyo ukuba bahambele phambili ngokomoya. (1 Yohane 3:18) Ngamaxesha athile basenokukhalaza, kodwa basenokuwuphawula umdla ongazenzisiyo onawo ngempilo-ntle yabo.
14. IDuteronomi 11:18, 19 inokusetyenziswa njani xa unxibelelana nabakwishumi elivisayo ngezinto zokomoya?
14 Ixesha lokunxibelelana ngemibandela ebalulekileyo ngokomoya alipheleli kwisifundo sentsapho kuphela. Ngaba uyawukhumbula umyalelo kaYehova kubazali? Wathi: “La mazwi am nize niwabekele intliziyo yenu nomphefumlo wenu niwabophe esandleni senu, abe ngumqondiso, abe zizikhumbuzo phakathi kwamehlo enu; niwafundise oonyana benu, uthethe ngawo ekuhlaleni kwakho endlwini yakho, nasekuhambeni kwakho ngendlela, nasekulaleni kwakho nasekuvukeni kwakho.” (Duteronomi 11:18, 19; kwakhona bona iDuteronomi 6:6, 7.) Oku akuthethi ukuba abazali mabahlalele ukushumayeza abantwana babo. Kodwa intloko-ntsapho enothando ifanele isoloko ikhangela amathuba okwakha imbono yentsapho yayo ngezinto zokomoya.
UQEQESHO NENTLONELO
15, 16. (a) Luyintoni uqeqesho? (b) Yimbopheleleko kabani ukuphumeza uqeqesho, yaye yimbopheleleko kabani ukuqinisekisa ukuba luyathotyelwa?
15 Uqeqesho luthetha ukulungisa, yaye luquka ukunxibelelana. Uqeqesho lunengcamango yokulungisa ngaphezu kokohlwaya—nangona isohlwayo sisenokufuneka. Abantwana bakho kwakufuneka beqeqeshiwe beselula, yaye nangoku bekwishumi elivisayo, kusafuneka beqeqeshiwe ngandlel’ ithile, mhlawumbi ngakumbi kunakuqala. Abakwishumi elivisayo abalumkileyo bayazi ukuba oku kuyinyaniso.
16 IBhayibhile ithi: “Isimathane sigiba uqeqesho lukayise; osigcinileyo isohlwayo uba nobuqili.” (IMizekeliso 15:5) Sifunda lukhulu kwesi sibhalo. Sibonisa ukuba uqeqesho lumele lunikelwe. Okwishumi elivisayo ‘akanakusigcina isohlwayo’ ukuba asiphunyezwa. UYehova uyithwalisa abazali imbopheleleko yokuqeqesha, ngokukodwa ubawo. Noko ke, yimbopheleleko yokwishumi elivisayo ukuphulaphula olo qeqesho. Uya kufunda okuninzi zize zibe mbalwa iimpazamo azenzayo ukuba uthobela uqeqesho lobulumko lukayise nonina. (IMizekeliso 1:8) IBhayibhile ithi: “Unobuhlwempu nocukucezo ophulukene noqeqesho; osigcinileyo isohlwayo uyazukiswa.”—IMizekeliso 13:18.
17. Abazali bamele bazimisele njani ukulungelelana xa bephumeza uqeqesho?
17 Xa beqeqesha abakwishumi elivisayo, abazali kufuneka balungelelane. Bafanele bakuphephe ukuba ngqongqo de babacaphukise abantwana babo, mhlawumbi bade bonakalise ukuzithemba kwabantwana babo. (Kolose 3:21) Kwakhona akufuneki abazali bayekelele de abaselula bangalufumani uqeqesho olubalulekileyo. Oko kuyekelela kunokubangela intlekele. IMizekeliso 29:17 ithi: “Mqeqeshe unyana wakho, wokuphefumlisa, awuyolise umphefumlo wakho.” Noko ke, IMiz 29 indinyana 21 ithi: “Osifekethisayo kwasebuncinaneni isicaka sakhe, uya kwenelwa lukhula ekupheleni.” Nangona le ndinyana ithetha ngesicaka, isebenza ngokufanayo nakuwuphi na oselula entsatsheni.
18. Uqeqesho lububungqina bantoni, yaye yintoni abayiphephayo abazali xa bephumeza uqeqesho olufanayo?
18 Eneneni, uqeqesho olufanelekileyo bubungqina bothando lomzali ngomntwana wakhe. (Hebhere 12:6, 11) Ukuba ungumzali, uyazi ukuba kunzima ukuhlala uqeqesha ngendlela efanayo nesengqiqweni. Kuba ufuna ukugcina uxolo, kusenokubonakala kulula ukusuka umyeke okwishumi elivisayo oqaqadekileyo ahambe ngayibonayo. Noko ke, ekuhambeni kwexesha, umzali owenza oku uya kuba senkathazweni xa intsapho yakhe ingasalawuleki.—IMizekeliso 29:15; Galati 6:9.
UMSEBENZI NOMDLALO
19, 20. Abazali banokuwusingatha njani ngobulumko umbandela wokuzihlaziya kwabantwana babo abakwishumi elivisayo?
19 Ngaphambili kwakulindelwe ukuba abantwana bancedise ekhaya okanye emasimini. Namhlanje abakwishumi elivisayo abaninzi banexesha elininzi abahleli nje bengoongqikana. Ukuze zibanike into yokwenza, ezorhwebo zibanika izinto ezininzi zokuchitha isithukuthezi. Ukongezelela koku ihlabathi alikukhuthazi kangako ukuxabiseka kwemilinganiselo yeBhayibhile yokuziphatha, yaye ezi zinto zintama ingozi yodwa.
20 Ngenxa yoko, umzali olumkileyo akaliyeki ilungelo lakhe lokwenza izigqibo ngokuzihlaziya. Noko ke, musa ukulibala ukuba okwishumi elivisayo uyakhula. Nyaka ngamnye, usengathanda ukuphathwa njengomntu omkhulu. Ngaloo ndlela, kububulumko ukumnika umnyinyiva wokuzikhethela iindlela zokuzihlaziya okwishumi elivisayo njengokuba ekhula—lo gama nje ekhetha izinto ezibonakalisa ukuba uhambela phambili ngokomoya. Maxa wambi, okwishumi elivisayo usenokungabi nabulumko ekukhetheni umculo, izinxulumani, njalo njalo. Xa kunjalo, kumele kuboniswane naye lowo ukwishumi elivisayo ukuze kwixa elizayo akhethe kakuhle.
21. Ukusebenzisa ingqiqo kwixesha elichithwa ngokwishumi elivisayo ekuzonwabiseni kunokumkhusela njani?
21 Lingakanani ixesha elifanele lichithelwe ekuzihlaziyeni? Kwamanye amazwe abaselula benziwa bakholelwe ukuba bamele baphilele ukuzonwabisa. Ngenxa yoko, ofikisayo usenokuceba ukuhlala “enexesha elimnandi.” Ngabazali abamele babafundise ukuba ixesha lifanele lichithelwe nakwezinye izinto, njengesifundo sentsapho nesobuqu, ekunxulumaneni nabantu abaqolileyo ngokomoya, kwiintlanganiso zamaKristu nakwimisebenzi yasekhaya. Oku kuya kwenza ‘iziyolo zobu bomi’ zingaliminxi iLizwi likaThixo.—Luka 8:11-15.
22. Yintoni enye ehambisana nokuzihlaziya kubomi bokwishumi elivisayo?
22 UKumkani uSolomon wathi: “Ndiyazi ke ukuba akukho nto ilungileyo phakathi kwabo, ingekukuvuya nokuzizuzela okulungileyo ebomini babo. Kwanokuba wonke umntu adle, asele, abone okulungileyo emigudwini [ekusebenzeni nzima, NW] yakhe yonke: sisipho sikaThixo eso.” (INtshumayelo 3:12, 13) Ewe, ukuvuya yinxalenye yobomi obulungeleleneyo. Kodwa nokusebenza akumele kulityalwe. Abakwishumi elivisayo abaninzi namhlanje abalwazi ulwaneliseko oluziswa kukusebenza nzima okanye ukuzihlonela okubangelwa kukusingatha ingxaki ethile baze bayicombulule. Abanye abanikwa thuba lakukhulisa ubuchule babo okanye ubugcisa abaza kuziphilisa ngabo kwixa elizayo. Nalu ke ucelomngeni olukhulu kumzali. Ngaba uya kuqinisekisa ukuba oselula unawo loo mathuba? Ukuba ungaphumelela ekufundiseni okwishumi elivisayo axabise aze anandiphe ukusebenza nzima, uya kuba nembono entle eya kumzisela iingenelo ubomi bakhe bonke.
UKUSUSELA KWISHUMI ELIVISAYO KUSE EBUNTWINI OBUKHULU
23. Abazali banokubakhuthaza njani abakwishumi elivisayo?
23 Enoba okwishumi elivisayo ukutsalisa nzima, izibhalo zimi ngenyaniso yokuba: “Uthando aluze lusilele.” (1 Korinte 13:8) Ungaze uyeke ukubonisa uthando esiqinisekileyo ukuba unalo. Zibuze, ‘Ngaba ndiyamncoma umntwana ngamnye xa ephumelela ekucombululeni iingxaki okanye xa esoyisa imiqobo? Ngaba ndiyawaxhakamfula amathuba okuchazela abantwana bam ukuba ndiyabathanda yaye ndiyabaxabisa, ndingawayeki adlule?’ Nangona maxa wambi nisenokungaqondani, ukuba abakwishumi elivisayo baqinisekile ukuba uyabathanda, nabo basenokukuthanda.
24. Nguwuphi umgaqo weZibhalo osebenza ngokubanzi noyinyaniso ekukhuliseni abantwana, kodwa yintoni emele ikhunjulwe?
24 Kakade ke, njengokuba abantwana bekhula, ekugqibeleni baza kwenza izigqibo ezikhulu. Kwezinye iimeko abazali basenokungazithandi ezo zigqibo. Kuthekani ukuba umntwana ugqiba ukuba ayeke ukukhonza uYehova uThixo? Oku kunokwenzeka. Kwanabanye koonyana bakaYehova bokomoya basichasa isiluleko baza bavukela. (Genesis 6:2; Yuda 6) Abantwana abazokhompyutha, zona onokusuka ucofe iqhosha zenze loo nto uyifunayo. Bazizidalwa ezinenkululeko yokuzikhethela, eziya kuphendula kuYehova ngezigqibo ezizenzayo. Sekunjalo, IMizekeliso 22:6 ingumgaqo osebenza ngokubanzi noyinyaniso: “Mfundise umntwana ngendlela efanele umntwana; naxa athe wamkhulu akasayi kumka kuyo.”
25. Yiyiphi eyona ndlela intle abazali abanokubonisa ngayo umbulelo kuYehova ngelungelo lokuba ngabazali?
25 Ngoko ke, bonisa uthando olukhulu ebantwaneni bakho. Yenza konke okusemandleni akho ukulandela imigaqo yeBhayibhile xa ubakhulisa. Misela umzekelo omhle wehambo yobuthixo. Ngaloo ndlela uya kunika abantwana bakho elona thuba lihle lokukhula baze babe nenkathalo, babe ngabantu abakhulu aboyika uThixo. Le yeyona ndlela intle abazali abanokuwubonisa ngayo umbulelo kuYehova ngelungelo lokuba ngabazali.
LE MIGAQO YEBHAYIBHILE INGABANCEDA NJANI . . . ABAZALI BAKHULISE ABANTWANA BABO ABAKWISHUMI ELIVISAYO?
Unxibelelwano luyafuneka.—IMizekeliso 15:22.
Sifanele silifundisise rhoqo iLizwi likaThixo.—INdumiso 1:1, 2.
Isilumko siyaluphulaphula uqeqesho.—IMizekeliso 15:5.
Ukusebenza nokudlala kunendawo yako.—INtshumayeli 3:12, 13.
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 67]
Ziphe ithuba xa okwishumi elivisayo efuna ukuthetha ngokuthile
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 69]
Isifundo seBhayibhile esithe rhoqo sibalulekile entsatsheni
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 70]
Bonakalisa uthando noxabiso ngabantwana bakho