Ukugcina Utywala Kwindawo Yabo

UTONY ekuthethwe ngaye kwinqaku lokuqala ngewayephile ubomi obahlukileyo—ukuba nje wayevumile ukuba babumoyisa utywala. Noko ke, wayecinga ukuba wayekwazi ukubulawula ubomi bakhe kuba nje wayebonakala ekwazi ukusela utywala obuninzi ngaphandle kwemiphumo ebonakalayo. Kwakutheni ukuze angakwazi ukuyibona kakuhle imeko yakhe?

Wayekhohliswe kukusela kakhulu. Enoba uTony wayesazi okanye engazi, ingqondo yakhe—elawula indlela osebenza ngayo umzimba, iingcinga neemvakalelo zakhe yayingasebenzi kakuhle xa esele kakhulu. Okukhona esela yaba kokukhona ingqondo yakhe ingakwazi ukuyichaza ngokuchanileyo imeko yakhe.

Isizathu sesibini esenza uTony wangakwazi ukuyibona kakuhle imeko yakhe yayikukufuna ukuqhubeka nekakade lakhe. UAllen ekuthethwe ngaye kwinqaku elandulela eli wayekhanyela ukuba wayenengxaki yotywala. Uthi: “Ndandidla ngokuyifihla indlela endandisela ngayo yaye ndandikungxengxezela ukusela kwam kakhulu. Ndandingafuni ukubuyeka utywala.” Nangona abanye abantu babebona ukuba uTony noAllen babesonganyelwa butywala, ngamnye kubo wayezixelela ukuba kwakungekho nto iphosakeleyo ngaye. Omabini la madoda kwakufuneka azame ukuyilungisa indlela awayesela ngayo. Ayeza kuyilungisa njani?

Thabatha Inyathelo!

Abantu abaninzi abaye bayeka ukusebenzisa kakubi utywala baye benza ngokuvisisana namazwi kaYesu athi: “Ukuba, ke, iliso lakho lasekunene liyakukhubekisa, linyothule ulilahle kude. Kuba kuyingenelo ngakumbi kuwe ukuba ulahlekelwe lilungu lakho elinye kunokuba umzimba wakho uphela uphoswe eGehena.”—Mateyu 5:29.

Kakade ke uYesu wayengathi sifanele sizinqumle amalungu omzimba. Kunoko wayegxininisa ukuba sifanele sahlukane nayo nantoni na enokulimaza ukholo lwethu. Kuyinyaniso ukuba kusenokufuneka sithathe inyathelo eliya kusivisa ubuhlungu. Kodwa ke liya kusikhusela ekucingeni nasekwenzeni izinto ezinokukhokelela ekusebenziseni kakubi utywala. Ngoko ke, ukuba abanye abantu bathi usela kakhulu, thabatha amanyathelo okuyilungisa loo nto.a Ukuba kuyacaca ukuba awunakukwazi ukulawula indlela osela ngayo, kulungele ukubuyeka ngokupheleleyo utywala. Kusenokuba buhlungu ukuyenza loo nto, kodwa ke akukho buhlungu njengokonakalelwa bubomi.

Enoba awulokhoboka lotywala, kodwa ngaba uye usele kakhulu? Ukuba kunjalo, ungenza ntoni ukuze ugcine utywala kwindawo yabo?

Apho Unokulufumana Khona Uncedo

1. Thembela kumandla omthandazo owenziwa rhoqo, nosuka entliziyweni. IBhayibhile icebisa bonke abantu abafuna ukukholisa uYehova isithi: “Ezintweni zonke zaziseni izibongozo zenu kuThixo ngomthandazo nesikhungo nombulelo; yaye uxolo lukaThixo olungaphaya kokuqonda luya kuzilinda iintliziyo zenu namandla enu engqondo ngoKristu Yesu.” (Filipi 4:6, 7) Yintoni ekufuneka uyithandazele ukuze ufumane uxolo lwengqondo?

Vuma ukuba unengxaki yotywala yaye yimbopheleleko yakho. Ukuxelela uThixo ukuba ufuna ukwenza ntoni ngayo kuya kumenza awusikelele umgudu wakho wokukhululeka nokuphepha iingozi. “Okugubungelayo ukunxaxha kwakhe akayi kuphumelela, kodwa okuvumayo aze akushiye uya kwenzelwa inceba.” (IMizekeliso 28:13) NoYesu wathi sinokuthandaza sithi: “Ungasingenisi ekuhendweni, kodwa sihlangule kulowo ungendawo.” (Mateyu 6:13) Kodwa ke, unokwenza njani ngokuvumelana nemithandazo enjalo, yaye unokuzifumana phi iimpendulo zemithandazo yakho?

2. Zuza amamdla kwiLizwi likaThixo. “Ilizwi likaThixo liphilile, linamandla . . . yaye liyakwazi ukuphicotha iingcamango notyekelo lwentliziyo.” (Hebhere 4:12) Abantu abaninzi ababekade besela kakhulu baye bancedwa kukufunda nokucamgca ngeevesi zeBhayibhile imihla ngemihla. Umdumisi owayehlonela uThixo wabhala wathi: “Unoyolo umntu ongahambanga ngecebo labangendawo. . . . kodwa oyoliswa ngumthetho kaYehova, efunda emthethweni wakhe ngesandi esiphantsi imini nobusuku. . . . konke akwenzayo kuya kuphumelela.”—INdumiso 1:1-3.

UAllen owancedwa kukufunda iBhayibhile namaNgqina kaYehova ukuze abe namandla okoyisa utywala uthi: “Ndiqinisekile ukuba ngendifile ngoku ukuba ndandingancedwanga yiBhayibhile nayimigaqo yayo ukuze ndiyeke ukusela.”

3. Hlakulela ukuzeyisa. IBhayibhile ithi amanye amaKristu awayekade engamanxila ahlanjwa “ngomoya kaThxo wethu.” (1 Korinte 6:9-11) Yenzeka njani loo nto? Enye yezinto awancedwa ngazo yaba kukuhlakulela ukuzeyisa, uphawu olukhuliswa ngoncedo lomoya kaThixo oyingcwele, ukuze ayeke ukuya ezindywaleni nakwiziyunguma. “Musani ukunxila yiwayini, ekukho kuko uburheletyo, kodwa hlalani nizaliswa ngumoya.” (Efese 5:18; Galati 5:21-23) UYesu Kristu wathembisa ukuba ‘uBawo osezulwini wayeza kubanika umoya oyingcwele abo bamcelayo.’ Ngoko ke ‘qhubeka uwucela yaye uya kuwunikwa.’—Luka 11:9, 13.

Abantu abakhonza uYehova ngendlela emkholisayo banokuhlakulela ukuzeyisa ngokufunda iBhayibhile nangokuthandaza rhoqo ngokusuka entliziyweni. Kunokuba utyhafe, yamkela esi sithembiso sifumaneka kwiLizwi likaThixo: “Lowo uhlwayelela eyakhe inyama uya kuvuna ukonakala ngokwasenyameni, kodwa lowo uhlwayelela umoya uya kuvuna ubomi obungunaphakade ngokwasemoyeni. Ngoko masingayeki ukwenza okuhle, kuba sovuna ngexesha elililo ukuba asidinwa.”—Galati 6:8, 9.

4. Khetha abahlobo abalungileyo. “Ohamba nezilumko uya kuba sisilumko naye, kodwa osebenzisana neziyatha uya kuhlelwa bububi.” (IMizekeliso 13:20) Xelela abahlobo bakho ukuba uzimisele ukuyilawula indlela obusela ngayo utywala. Kodwa ke yazi ukuba iLizwi likaThixo lilumkisa ngelithi xa uyeka ‘ukuzinkcinkca ngewayini, ukuya kwiziyunguma, nasezindywaleni,’ abanye babahlobo bakho ‘baya kubhideka baze bahambe bekutshabhisa.’ (1 Petros 4:3, 4) Kulungele ukwahlukana nabantu abanokukwenza ungakwazi ukuyilawula indlela osela ngayo.

5. Zibekele imida. “Musani ukumilisa okwale nkqubo yezinto, kodwa guqukani ngokutshintsha ingqondo yenu, ukuze nikungqine ngokwenu ukulunga nokwamkeleka nokugqibelela kokuthanda kukaThixo.” (Roma 12:2) Ukuba uvumela imigaqo ekwiLizwi likaThixo ikuncede ukuba uzibekele imida kunokuba uvumele abahlobo bakho okanye “le nkqubo yezinto,” uya kuphila ubomi obumkholisayo uThixo. Kodwa ke unokuyibeka njani imida ekufaneleyo?

Nabuphi na utywala obukwenza ungakwazi ukwenza izigqibo ezifanelekileyo okanye buwenze buthathaka amandla akho okuqiqa, buninzi kakhulu. Ngenxa yoko, ukuba ukhetha ukusela, akubobulumko ukubeka imida engacacanga kakuhle ephakathi kokunxila nokunganxili. Ungakhanyeli xa unengxaki yokusela kakhulu. Zibekele imida ecacileyo, engakubeki esichengeni—nengenakuze ikubeke engozini yokusela ngokugqithiseleyo.

6. Funda ukuthi hayi. “Ke uEwe makabe nguEwe, uHayi wenu, abe nguHayi.” (Mateyu 5:37) Funda ukwala kodwa uthethe ngembeko xa ucengwa ukuba usele. “Amazwi enu makasoloko ekholekile, enongwe ngetyuwa, ukuze nikwazi ukuphendula bonke ngabanye.”—Kolose 4:6.

7. Funa uncedo. Cela uncedo kubahlobo bakho abakuxhalabeleyo abanokukunceda ubambelele kwisigqibo sakho sokungaseli kakhulu nabanokukunceda ngokomoya. “Ababini balunge ngakumbi kunomnye, ngenxa yokuba banomvuzo ngomsebenzi wabo onzima. Ngokuba xa omnye wabo esiwa, omnye unokuliphakamisa iqabane lakhe.” (INtshumayeli 4:9, 10; Yakobi 5:14, 16) INational Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism yaseUnited States icebisa ngelithi: “Kusenokuba nzima ngamaxesha athile ukunciphisa izinga osela ngalo. Cela intsapho nabahlobo bakho bakuxhase ukuze uphumelele.”

8. Namathela kwisigqibo sakho. “Noko ke, yibani ngabenzi belizwi, ningabi ngabevayo kuphela, nizikhohlisa ngokuqiqa okuphosakeleyo. Kodwa umntu oqondela kumthetho ogqibeleleyo wenkululeko, nalowo uzingisayo kuwo, yena lowo, ngenxa yokuba uye, akaba ngovayo aze alibale, kodwa waba ngumenzi womsebenzi, uya kuba noyolo ekuwenzeni kwakhe.”—Yakobi 1:22, 25.

Ukwahlukana Nokukhotyokiswa Butywala

Asinguye wonke umntu osela ngokugqithiseleyo oba likhoboka lotywala. Kodwa ke abanye baye baqalise ukusela kakhulu—okanye rhoqo—kangangokuba bade baxhomekeke kubo. Ngenxa yokuba umzimba nengqondo ziye zixhomekeke etywaleni, kusenokufuneka abantu abanjalo bafumane uncedo olungakumbi kunoncedo lokomoya nokuzimisela ukubuyeka ngokwabo. UAllen uthi: “Iintlungu endandiziva emzimbeni xa ndandiyeka utywala zazinganyamezeleki. Loo nto yandenza ndaqonda ukuba kwakufuneka ndifumane unyango lwezamayeza ukongezelela kuncedo lokomoya endandilufumana.”

Abantu abaninzi abaselayo kufuneka bafumane uncedo lwezamayeza ukuze baxhaswe kwidabi labo lokomoya lokwahlukana notywala.b Abanye kuye kufuneke balaliswe esibhedlele ukuze bamelane neengxaki ezibangelwa kukuyeka ukusela okanye ukuze bafumane amayeza okubanceda bayeke ukunxanwa ngokugqithiseleyo nawokubanceda bangabuyeli kubo. UNyana kaThixo owayesenza imimangaliso wathi: “Kwabo bomeleleyo akufuneki gqirha, kodwa kwabo bagulayo uyafuneka.”—Marko 2:17.

Iingenelo Zokuphila Ngemigaqo Yobuthixo

Icebiso leBhayibhile ngotywala livela kuThixo wenyaniso ofuna silungelwe—ngoku nangonaphakade. Emva kweminyaka engama-24 eyekile ukusela, uAllen uthi: “Kwakumangalisa gqitha ukwazi ukuba ndandingatshintsha, nokufunda ukuba uYehova ufuna ukundinceda ndilungise indlela endandiphila ngayo, nokuthi. . . .” UAllen uyanqumama aze azibambe ngeenkophe iinyembezi njengoko ekhumbula apho asuka khona. “Kundimangalise gqitha—ukwazi ukuba uYehova uyayiqonda imeko yethu yaye usikhathalele nokuba usinika uncedo esilufunayo.”

Ngoko ke, ukuba ubusebenzisa kakubi utywala okanye ulikhoboka labo, musa ukunikezela ngokukhawuleza okanye ucinge ukuba unguncanyelweni. UAllen nabanye abaninzi bakha bakwimeko efana neyakho yaye baye bakwazi ukunciphisa izinga abasela ngalo okanye bayeka ngokupheleleyo. Abazisoli yaye nawe awusoze uzisole.

Enoba ugqiba kwelokuba usele utywala ngobungcathu okanye ungaseli, phulaphula esi sibongozo sikaThixo: “Owu ukuba nje kuphela okunene ubunganikela ingqalelo kwimiyalelo yam! Ngoko uxolo lwakho beluya kuba njengomlambo, nobulungisa bakho njengamaza olwandle.”—Isaya 48:18.

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]

[Ibhokisi/Umfanekiso okwiphepha 8]

Ngaba Ndilawulwa Butywala?

Zibuze:

• Ngaba ndisela kakhulu kunangaphambili?

• Ngaba ndisela rhoqo kunokuba ndandikade ndisenza?

• Ngaba ngoku sendithanda ukuzitshiza ngotywala obutshisa ngakumbi?

• Ngaba ndisela utywala xa ndixinezelekile okanye ndineengxaki?

• Ngaba umhlobo okanye isalamane sikhe sathetha nam ngendlela endisela ngayo?

• Ngaba utywala bukhe bandibangela iingxaki ekhaya, emsebenzini okanye endleleni?

• Ngaba kunzima ukugqiba iveki ndingaselanga?

• Ngaba andikhathazeki xa abanye bengaseli?

• Ngaba ndiyabufihla kwabanye umlinganiselo wotywala endibuselayo?

Ukuba impendulo yakho nguewe komnye okanye kwemibini yale mibuzo, kusenokufuneka uthathe amanyathelo okulawula indlela osela ngayo.

[Ibhokisi/Umfanekiso okwiphepha 9]

Ukwenza Izigqibo Zobulumko Ngotywala

Cinga ngezi zinto ngaphambi kokuba usele utywala:

• Ngaba kububulumko ukuba ndisele utywala, okanye ngaba ndifanele ndingaseli?

Icebiso: Umntu ongakwaziyo ukusela ngobungcathu ufanele abuyeke utywala.

• Ndifanele ndisele utywala obungakanani?

Icebiso: Zibekele umda ngaphambi kokuba utywala buphazamise ingqondo yakho.

• Ndiza kusela nini?

Icebiso: Andizikusela ngaphambi kokuba ndenze izinto ezifuna ndiphaphe; ngaphambi kwezinto eziphathelele unqulo; ngoxa ndikhulelwe; naxa ndisebenzisa amayeza okanye iipilisi ezithile.

• Ndiza kuselela phi?

Icebiso: Kuphela kwiimeko ezifanelekileyo; kungekhona ngasese ukuze ndingabonwa; yaye andiyi kusela xa kukho abantu abanokukhutyekiswa butywala.

• Ndiza kusela nabani?

Icebiso: Nabahlobo okanye amalungu entsapho aziphethe kakuhle; kungekhona nabantu abanengxaki yotywala.

[Ibhokisi/Umfanekiso okwiphepha 10]

Ilizwi LikaThixo Linceda Umntu Owayekade Elinxila

USupot waseThailand wayelinxila. Ekuqaleni, wayesela ngorhatya kuphela. Kodwa ke ngokuthe ngcembe waqalisa ukusela ekuseni waza kamva wasela nangexesha lesidlo sasemini. Wayeselela ukunxila. Kodwa ke waqalisa ukufunda iBhayibhile namaNgqina kaYehova. USupot wayeka ukunxila esakufunda ukuba uYehova uThixo wayengakuthandi. Kodwa ke kungekudala wavukwa likakade. Intsapho yakhe yadimazeka kakhulu.

Nakuba kunjalo, uSupot wayemthanda uYehova yaye efuna ukumnqula ngendlela eyamkelekileyo. Abahlobo bakaSupot baqhubeka bemnceda yaye bekhuthaza intsapho yakhe ukuba ichithe ixesha elininzi naye nokuba ingalahl’ ithemba. Ngelo xesha, isiluleko esingqalileyo esikweyoku-1 kwabaseKorinte 6:10 esithi ‘amanxila akayi kubudla ilifa uBukumkani bukaThixo’ samnceda uSupot wabona ubunzulu bemeko yakhe. Waqonda ukuba kwakufuneka alwe nzima ukuze oyise ingxaki yakhe.

Kweli tyeli uSupot wayezimisele ukubuyeka ngokupheleleyo utywala. Ekugqibeleni, uSupot wancedwa ngamandla omoya oyingcwele kaThixo, liLizwi likaThixo, intsapho yakhe kunye nebandla, ukuze oyise ukunxanwa. Intsapho yakhe yavuya gqitha xa wabonakalisa ukuzahlulela kwakhe kuThixo ngokubhaptizwa. Namhlanje uSupot unolwalamano olusondeleyo noThixo yaye usebenzisa ixesha lakhe ukuze ancede abanye ngokomoya.