Intsha Iyabuza . . .

Kufanele Ngenzeni Uma Umngane Wami Engena Enkathazweni?

USherrie oneminyaka engu-14 ubudala uthi: “Umngane wami omkhulu wahlehla ekubeni umKristu. Kuyangidabukisa. Ngiye ngazikhandla ngizama ukumkhuthaza!”a

INGABE ukhona umuntu osondelene naye oye wangena enkathazweni noma oseqale ukulandela indlela yokuphila engabazekayo? “Sasingamathe nolimi noChris,” kusho uJohnny. “Sasingabangane abakhulu. Ngolunye usuku weqa kubo. Lokhu kwangishaqisa, futhi ngazizwa ngibophekile ukuba ngimcinge. Ngazula ngemoto ubusuku bonke ngimfuna.”

IBhayibheli laxwayisa ngokuthi ezinsukwini zokugcina, kwakuyofika ukucindezela okukhulu kubantu, abancane nabadala. (2 Thimothewu 3:1-5) Ngakho akufanele kusimangaze uma ngezinye izikhathi kuba nomKristu osemusha okhubekayo. Kodwa lapho kwenzeka kothile omkhathalelayo, ungase ube nemizwa ehlukahlukene, kusukela ekudabukeni nasekubeni nobubele kuya ekuthukutheleni. Ufuna ukumsiza umngane wakho. Kodwa ungakwenza kanjani lokho?

‘Ngingamhlenga’

IBhayibheli lithi: “Lowo obuyisa isoni esiphambekweni sendlela yaso uyosindisa umphefumulo [wesoni] ekufeni futhi uyomboza izono eziningi.” (Jakobe 5:20) Kodwa ingabe lokhu kusho ukuthi ukwenza kanjalo kuwumthwalo wakho? Akunjalo ngempela. Abazali bomngane wakho banomthwalo wemfanelo oyinhloko ngaye. (Efesu 6:4) IBhayibheli liqhubeka lithi kweyabaseGalathiya 6:1: “Bafowethu, ngisho noma umuntu ethatha isinyathelo okungesona ngaphambi kokuba asiqaphele, nina eninezimfanelo ezingokomoya zamani ukumlungisa ngomoya wobumnene umuntu onjalo.” Ababonisi bebandla bafaneleka kakhulu ngokuqondene nalokhu. Ngakho basesimweni esingcono sokusiza kunawe.

Kwamukele ukuthi njengomuntu osemusha, unokuhlangenwe nakho okuncane ekuphileni. (Qhathanisa namaHeberu 5:14.) Ngakho ngokuthobeka kuvume ukulinganiselwa kwakho ngokuqondene nalokhu futhi ugweme ukusukela into engaphezu kwamandla akho. (IzAga 11:2) Cabangela osemusha okuthiwa uRebekah. Wazama ukusiza umngane wakhe wesilisa, oyisihlobo sakhe, owayesebhema izidakamizwa. Uyalandisa: “Okwakungicindezela ukuthi wayethululela isifuba sakhe kimi hhayi kubazali bakhe. Ngazama ukumsiza, kodwa kwakukhungathekisa kakhulu. Kwangisiza lapho ekugcineni ngiqaphela ukuthi ayikho into engingayenza . . . Akumina owayengamhlenga.” Khona-ke uRebekah wamnxusa ukuba athole usizo kubantu abadala abafanelekayo.

UMatthew osemusha waba sesimweni esifanayo, kodwa wakuvuma ukulinganiselwa kwakhe zisuka nje. Uthi ngomngane wakhe owayesenkathazweni: “Wayeza kimi nezinkinga zakhe, kodwa ngangimtshela ukuthi aye kubazali bakhe. Ngangingenakuzithwala izinkinga zakhe.”

Indlela Ongasiza Ngayo

Lokhu akusho ukuthi ayikho into ongayenza ukuze usize. Kuxhomeke kakhulu ezimweni. Mhlawumbe umngane wakho ufuna ukuthululela isifuba sakhe kuwe. Njengoba kulindelekile, uyofuna ukumsekela nokumlalela. (IzAga 18:24; 21:13) Noma kungenzeka ukuthi useqale ukulandela indlela yokuphila engabazekayo. Kuyoba okufanelekile ukuthatha isinyathelo kuqala umtshele ukuthi nakuba umkhathalela, awunakukuvumela lokho akwenzayo.

Esinye isimo singase sihilele umngane ovuma ububi obungathi sína. Angase azame ngisho nokukwenza uyifihle indaba. Kodwa iBhayibheli lithi: ‘Ungalokothi ube umhlanganyeli ezonweni zabanye; zilondoloze umsulwa.’ (1 Thimothewu 5:22) Uma umngane wakho egula kakhulu futhi edinga usizo lwezokwelapha, ubungeke yini uphikelele ngokumusa kudokotela? Ngokufanayo, uma eye wenza ububi obungathi sína, udinga usizo olungokomoya. Ukufihla izindaba kungambulala ngokomoya—futhi kulimaze ibandla. Ngakho-ke unesibopho sokuqikelela ukuthi abadala bebandla bayabikelwa.—Qhathanisa noLevitikusi 5:1.

UCaroline osemusha wathatha ukuma kwesibindi ngokuqondene nomngane ophambukayo owayeqamba amanga kubazali bakhe. Uthi: “Ngamnika amasonto amabili ukuba aye kubadala. Ngamtshela ukuthi uma engayi, mina ngangizoya kubo. Kwakungelula ngami ukwenza kanjalo.” UJohnny, okukhulunywe ngaye ekuqaleni, wabonisa isibindi esifanayo. Ngokuqondene nomngane wakhe, uJohnny uyakhumbula: “Ngamangala ukuthola ukuthi wayehlala nentombazane. Kwakukhona nabanye abafana lapho bephuza futhi bebhema.” UJohnny wacela umngane wakhe ukuba aphumele ngaphandle wabe esemtshela ngokuqinile ukuba afune usizo lwabadala ebandleni.

Umngane wakho angase ayazise noma angayazisi imizamo yakho. IBhayibheli lisitshela ukuthi lapho abafowabo behileleka ebubini, insizwa eseyintsha uJosefa “waletha kuyise imibiko emibi ngabo.” Lokhu ngokuqinisekile akuzange kwenze abafowabo bamthande kakhulu. Eqinisweni, “bamzonda.”—Genesise 37:2-4.

Ingabe Kusenjengoba Bekunjalo?

Nokho, uyoyilulaza imizamo yakho yokusiza uma uqhubeka uba nobudlelwane nomngane wakho njengokungathi akukho okushaya amanzi. Kweyoku-1 Korinte 15:33 umphostoli uPawulu waxwayisa amaKristu ngokuba nobudlelwane nabenzi bobubi. Ukusondelana eduze nabantu abanjalo kungakubuyisela emuva nje kuphela!

UMollie osemusha wakufunda kanzima lokhu lapho umngane wakhe uSally eqala ukuphola ngasese. Akukhona nje kuphela ukuthi uSally wayesemncane kakhulu ukuba angashada kodwa wayephola nabafana abangewona amaKristu. UMollie wasishaya indiva lesi simo futhi waqhubeka eba nobudlelwane nomngane wakhe. Waba yini umphumela? UMollie uthi: “Ekugcineni, uSally wangitholela umfana wezwe, futhi ngahamba naye sayophola.” Ngenhlanhla, uMollie wathola usizo kubadala bebandla ngaphambi kokuba lesi simo sibe sibi kakhulu.

ULynn naye wenza ukuyekethisa okuyingozi ukuze alondoloze ubungane bakhe nentombazane okuthiwa uBeth. “Ngaba nomuzwa wokuthi ngingamhlenga,” kukhumbula uLynn, “kodwa akuzange kusebenze. Ngaya naye kuma-nightclub. Ngangazi ukuthi akulungile, kodwa ngangingafuni aphatheke kabi. Izinkinga zakhe zaqala ukungisinda. Angizange ngiyithi vú lendaba, ngicabanga ukuthi lenkinga izophela, kodwa yakhula.” Inhlekelele eyavela yamsangulukisa kabuhlungu uLynn. Umngane wakhe uBeth wabulawa insizwa ayephola nayo.

Ukunamathela kumngane kungase kubonakale kuyinto enhle kakhulu. Kodwa uma umngane wakho eminza ngokoqobo emanzini agubhayo, ingabe nawe ubungaziphonsa phakathi? Okuwukuphela kwento engenzeka nje ukuba nife nobabili. Into okunengqondo ukuyenza ukumphonsela into angabambelela kuyo asinde. Ngokufanayo, kudingeka unikeze usizo ukude.—Jude 22, 23.

Ukuzigcina ukude kubalulekile uma umngane wakho exoshiwe ebandleni. Umyalo weBhayibheli uthi ‘siyeke ukuzihlanganisa’ nalowo muntu. (1 Korinte 5:11) Nakuba usamkhathalela lowo muntu, ungamsiza kangcono, ngokubonisa ubuqotho kuJehova, hhayi ngokumlandela ebubini. (IHubo 18:25) Ukuma kwakho kokungayekethisi kungaba yikho kanye okumshukumisela ukuba aphinde acabangele izenzo zakhe. Okubaluleke nakakhulu, ubuqotho bakho buyojabulisa uJehova.—IzAga 27:11.

Ukuzithwesa Umthwalo Oweqile

Nokho, ngokuvamile imizamo yomuntu engcono kakhulu yokusiza iyahluleka. URebekah uyakhumbula ngokuqondene nomngane wakhe: “Ngenza konke okusemandleni ukuze ngimsize. Ngaze ngambhalela nencwadi, kodwa akazange ayiphendule.” UCaroline wathola ukuthi ngemva kwezinyanga eziningi ezama ukusiza umngane owayedlala ngegeja kuziliwe, “waqala ukuzizwa ecindezelekile.”

Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi “ngamunye wethu uyozilandisela kuNkulunkulu.” (Roma 14:12) Futhi nakuba kufanelekile ukusiza othile ukuba athwale imithwalo yakhe esindayo, noma izinkinga zomuntu siqu, ngokunikeza usizo olungokoqobo, umane nje awunakuthwala “umthwalo” womunye umuntu—okungukuthi, umthwalo wakhe wemfanelo kuNkulunkulu. IBhayibheli lithi: “Yilowo nalowo uyothwala umthwalo wakhe siqu.” (Galathiya 6:5) Awunakubekwa icala ngalokho umngane wakho akukhethayo.

Nakuba kunjalo, ukubukela umngane ewohloza ukuphila kwakhe kubuhlungu. Insizwa okuthiwa uMike ithi ngokuqondene nokulahlekelwa kwayo umngane: “Kwangidumaza kakhulu. Sasingamathe nolimi noMark nabazali bakhe. Ngacindezeleka.”

Kumane nje kungokwemvelo ukudabuka ngokulahlekelwa okunjalo. Nokho, ukutshela umuntu omethembayo imizwa yakho kungasiza. (IzAga 12:25) URebekah uthi: “Ngosizo lwabazali bami, ngakwazi ukukunqoba.” Nawe ungathululela imizwa yakho kuJehova uNkulunkulu ngomthandazo. (IHubo 62:8) UCaroline uyifushanisa kahle lendaba ngokuthi: “Ukuthandaza kuJehova nokushumayela kwabanye kwangisiza kakhulu. Futhi ngasondelana nabanye ebandleni, ikakhulukazi abesifazane asebekhulile. Ekugcineni ngaqaphela ukuthi abantu bayolandisa ngezenzo zabo siqu nokuthi kudingeka ngiqhubeke nokuphila kwami.” Ngokwenza konke lokho, ngokuqinisekile uyozisiza wena. Futhi kungenzeka uthuke ususize nomngane wakho ophambukayo.

[Umbhalo waphansi]

[Isithombe ekhasini 17]

Khuthaza umngane wakho ukuba athole usizo