Ukufundisa Izingane Ukuzithiba

Ingane yakho eneminyaka eyisithupha ibonakala ingakwazi ukuzibamba. Uma ibona okuthile ekuthandayo, ikufuna manje! Uma kukhona okuyicasulayo, ngezinye izikhathi ivele ihluthuke. Uyazibuza, ‘Ingabe kuvamile ukuba izingane ziziphathe kanje? Ingabe izoshintsha njengoba ikhula, noma sekuyisikhathi sokuba ngiyifundise ukuzithiba?’

Indlela yanamuhla yokuphila ayisakuqhakambisi ukuzithiba. Udokotela uDavid Walsh uyabhala: “Kulokhu kuphila kwethu okuyekelelayo, abantu abadala kanye nezingane bavame ukuzwa izinkulumo ezithi kufanele wenze noma yini oyithandayo. Kusukela kubeluleki abaqotho kuye kubeluleki mbumbulu abazifunela imali, bonke bathi kufanele senze lokho esikuthandayo.”a

Kubalulekile ukuzifundisa ukuzithiba zisencane. Ocwaningweni olwathatha isikhathi eside, abacwaningi banikeza ngayinye eqenjini lezingane ezineminyaka emine uswidi, base bezitshela ukuthi lowo swidi zingawudla ngaleso sikhathi noma zilinde kancane, zizophiwa omunye njengomvuzo wokubekezela kwazo. Kamuva, lapho ziphothula esikoleni samabanga aphakeme, izingane ezabonisa ukuzithiba lapho ziseneminyaka emine, zenza kangcono kakhulu ngokomzwelo, ebuhlotsheni bazo nabanye, nakwezemfundo kunalezo ezahluleka ukuzithiba.

Umphumela wokungazifundisi ukuzithiba ungase ube mubi kakhulu. Abacwaningi bakholelwa ukuthi ukusebenza kwengqondo yengane, kungalawulwa yizinto ezenzeke ekuphileni kwayo. Ngokukadokotela uDan Kindlon, lokho kusho ukuthi, “uma izingane zethu sizitotosa, singazifundisi ukulinda, ukuzithiba, nokunqoba isilingo, ushintsho olwenzeka engqondweni oluhambisana nokuba nezici eziqinile zobuntu, lungase lungenzeki.”b

Beka isibonelo. Ingabe wena uyakwazi ukuzithiba? Ingabe ingane yakho ikubona uphelelwa isineke lapho usesiminyaminyeni sezimoto, ungenela emgqeni esitolo, noma uphazamisa abanye besaxoxa? UKindlon uthi: “Indlela ephumelela kakhulu yokusiza izingane zethu ekuthuthukiseni ukuzithiba iwukuba thina ngokwethu sikubonise.”​—Isimiso seBhayibheli: Roma 12:9.

Fundisa ingane yakho ngemiphumela. Kuye ngeminyaka yayo, isize ibone ukuthi kunezinzuzo ukulawula izifiso zayo, kanti ukuhluleka ukwenze njalo kunemiphumela engemihle. Ngokwesibonelo, uma ingane icasulwe othile oyiphathe kabi, isize izibuze le mibuzo: ‘Ingabe ukuziphindiselela kuzosiza noma kuzolimaza? Ingabe ikhona indlela engcono yokusingatha lesi simo​—mhlawumbe ukubala uze ufike eshumini ukuze wehlise igwebu? Kungaba ngcono yini ukuvele usuke kuleyo ndawo?’​—Isimiso seBhayibheli: Galathiya 6:7.

Ikhuthaze. Ituse uma ibonisa ukuzithiba. Itshele ukuthi, kungase kungabi lula ngazo zonke izikhathi ukumelana nezifiso zayo, kodwa ukwenze njalo kubonisa ukuthi inamandla! IBhayibheli lithi: “Umuntu ongawubambi umoya wakhe unjengomuzi ofohliwe, ongenalo udonga.” (IzAga 25:28) Ngokuphambene nalokho, “owephuza ukuthukuthela ungcono kunendoda enamandla.”​—IzAga 16:32.

Prakthizani. Yenzani umdlalo obizwa ngokuthi “Yini Obungayenza?” noma “Izinqumo Ezinhle, Izinqumo Ezimbi” noma omunye ofana nawo. Xoxani ngezimo ezingaphakama, nilingise nezindlela abanye abangasabela ngazo bese niyasho ukuthi “kuhle” noma “kubi.” Wenzeni uthakazelise: Uma nithanda, sebenzisani onodoli, imidwebo, noma ezinye izindlela ukuze nenze lo mdlalo ube mnandi futhi ufundise. Umgomo wakho uwukusiza ingane iqaphele ukuthi ukuzithiba kungcono kunokwenza ngokuxhamazela.​—Isimiso seBhayibheli: IzAga 29:11.

Yiba nesineke. IBhayibheli lithi, “Ubuwula buboshelwe enhliziyweni yomntwana.” (IzAga 22:15) Ngakho, ungalindeli ukuba ingane ihlakulele imfanelo yokuzithiba ngokuphazima kweso. Incwadi ethi Teach Your Children Well ithi: “Lokhu kuyinqubo ende ehambisana nempumelelo, ukuhluleka nokuqhubekela phambili.” Kodwa, kuwufanele umzamo. Le ncwadi iyaqhubeka, “Ingane ekwazi ukuzibamba, isesimweni esingcono kakhulu sokugwema ukusebenzisa izidakamizwa lapho isineminyaka engu-12 noma ukuya ocansini ineminyaka engu-14.”