Intsha Iyabuza . . .

Kungani Umngane Wami Omkhulu Ethuthile?

‘KUBONAKALA sengathi ulahlekelwe umngane wakho omkhulu.’ Abantu bavame ukusho lamazwi lapho umuntu ebukeka edabukile noma edangele. Kodwa uma ngempela uye walahlekelwa umngane wakho omkhulu, lamazwi azwakala ehlaba kakhulu.

Phela, ubungane beqiniso buyinto ekhethekile futhi eyigugu. IBhayibheli lithi: “Umngane uthanda ngezikhathi zonke, nomzalwane uzalwa ekuhluphekeni.” (IzAga 17:17) Kubangane abahle sithola ubungane nokusekelwa. Bayasisiza ukuba sikhule ngokomzwelo nangokomoya. Nakuba abangane nje noma abantu esibajwayele bengase babe baningi, abantu esingabethemba ngempela futhi sithululele kubo isifuba ngokuvamile bayivelakancane.

Ngakho uma umngane wakho omkhulu eye wathutha, kuyaqondakala ukuthi ungase uzizwe ufelwe yizwe. Osemusha okuthiwa uBryan wakhumbula indlela azizwa ngayo lapho umngane wakhe omkhulu ethutha. Wathi: “Ngangesaba, nginesizungu, futhi ngiphatheke kabi.” Mhlawumbe uzizwa ngendlela efanayo.

Ukubhekana Namaqiniso

Ukucabanga ngezizathu ezibangele ukuba umngane wakho athuthe kungase kusize. Ngokuqinisekile, akukhona ukuthi wayengabazisi ubungane benu. Ukuthutha sekuyinto evamile ekuphileni kwanamuhla. Unyaka ngamunye e-United States iyodwa, kuthutha abantu abangaphezu kwezigidi ezingu-36! Ngokwe-Bureau of Census yase-United States, umMelika ovamile uyothutha izikhathi ezingu-12 ekuphileni kwakhe.

Kungani kuthuthwa kangaka? Izizathu ziyahlukahluka. Imikhaya eminingi iyathutha ukuze ithole imisebenzi nezindawo zokuhlala ezingcono. Emazweni asathuthuka, impi nobumpofu kuye kwaphoqelela izigidi zemikhaya ukuba zithuthe. Futhi njengoba intsha ikhula, eningi ikhetha ukuthutha futhi iziphilele yodwa. Enye iyathutha ukuze iyoshada. (Genesise 2:24) Kodwa enye ingase ithuthe ukuze iyophishekela izithakazelo ezingokomoya. (Mathewu 19:29) Phakathi koFakazi BakaJehova, eningi ishiya ukunethezeka kwendawo eyijwayele ukuze iyokhonza ezindaweni—mhlawumbe ngisho nasemazweni angaphandle—lapho kunendingeko enkulu khona yezikhonzi ezingamaKristu. Enye iyathutha ezweni lakubo iyokhonza eBethel, njengoba zibizwa kanjalo izindawo zokwengamela umsebenzi woFakazi BakaJehova. Yebo, nakuba sibathanda abangane bethu, kumelwe sikubheke njengeqiniso elingenakuphikwa ukuthi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ngokunokwenzeka bayothutha.

Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi siyini isizathu sokuthutha komngane wakho, ungase uzibuze ukuthi uyokwazi kanjani ukukudlulisa. Kodwa nakuba kungokwemvelo ukuzizwa unesizungu futhi udangele okwesikhashana, ngokunokwenzeka uyaqaphela ukuthi ukuqhatha umunyu ngeke neze kwenze isimo sibe ngcono. (IzAga 18:1) Ngakho ake sicabangele ezinye izinto ezingasiza.

Hlalani Nixhumana

“Qaphela ukuthi ubungane benu abuphelile,” kululeka uBryan osemusha. Yebo, ngokuqinisekile ukuthutha komngane wakho omkhulu kuyobushintha ubuhlobo benu, kodwa akusho ukuthi ubungane benu kufanele buphele. Umeluleki wentsha uDkt. Rosemarie White wathi: “Ukulahlekelwa othile kunzima nganoma yisiphi isikhathi ekuphileni, kodwa indlela yokubhekana nakho iwukuba nje ucabange ngakho njengoshintsho, hhayi njengesiphetho.”

Yini ongayenza ukuze ulondoloze ubungane? Cabangela ukulandisa kweBhayibheli ngoDavide noJonathani. Naphezu kokushiyana ngeminyaka eminingi, babengabangane abakhulu. Lapho izimo ziphoqelela uDavide ukuba abalekele ekudingisweni, abazange bahlukane ngaphandle kokuvalelisana. Ngokuphambene, baqinisekisa ubungane babo obungapheli, benza ngisho nesivumelwano sokuhlala bengabangane.—1 Samuweli 20:42.

Ngokufanayo, ungase ukhulume nomngane wakho ngaphambi kokuba ahambe. Tshela umngane wakho indlela obazisa ngayo ubungane benu nendlela ofuna ngayo ukugcina imizila yokukhulumisana ivulekile. UPatty noMelina, abangane abakhulu manje asebehlukaniswe yizwe nolwandle ibanga elingamakhilomitha angu-8000, benza lokho kanye. “Sihlela ukuhlala sixhumana,” kuchaza uPatty. Nokho, amacebo anjalo angase ahluleke ngaphandle kokuba nenze amalungiselelo athile aqondile.—Qhathanisa no-Amose 3:3.

IBhayibheli lisitshela ukuthi lapho umphostoli uJohane engakwazi ukubona umngane wakhe uGayu, waqhubeka exhumana naye ‘ngokumlobela ngoyinki nangosiba.’ (3 Johane 13) Futhi ningase nivumelane ngokubhalelana noma ukuthumelelana amakhadi njalo, mhlawumbe kanye ngesonto noma kanye ngenyanga. Futhi uma abazali bakho bengamelene nokushayela ucingo kude, mhlawumbe ningashayelana ucingo ngezikhathi ezithile futhi nixoxe ngezinto zamuva ezenzeka ekuphileni kwenu. Noma ningase nivumelane ngokuthumelelana imiyalezo eqoshwe ekhasethini noma ekhasethini le-video. Esikhathini esizayo, kungase kwenzeke ngisho nokuhlela ukuba ndawonye ngempelasonto noma ukuthatha iholide ndawonye. Kanjalo ubungane bungaqhubeka buqina.

Ukuvala Isikhala

Noma kunjalo, ukuhamba komngane kuyoshiya isikhala ekuphileni kwakho. Ngenxa yalokho, ungase uthole ukuthi unesikhathi esiningi. Ungadlali ngaleso sikhathi. (Efesu 5:16) Sisebenzisele ukwenza okuthile okuzuzisayo—mhlawumbe ungase ufunde ukudlala insimbi ethile yomculo, ufunde olunye ulimi, noma uphishekele umsebenzi othile wokuzilibazisa. Ukwenzela abantu abadinga usizo imisebenzi ethile kungenye yezindlela ezizuzisayo zokusebenzisa isikhathi. Uma ungomunye woFakazi BakaJehova, ungase wandise ukuhlanganyela kwakho emsebenzini wokushumayela obala. (Mathewu 24:14) Noma ungase uqale umsebenzi othakazelisayo wokutadisha iBhayibheli.

Ngaphezu kwalokho, umphostoli uPawulu waluleka amaKristu aseKorinte ukuba ‘anuleke’—okuwukuthi, ahlanganise nabanye eqenjini lawo labangane. (2 Korinte 6:13) Mhlawumbe uye wachitha isikhathi esiningi unomngane oyedwa kuphela kangangokuba uye wabalibala abanye abangaba abangane. Intsha phakathi koFakazi BakaJehova ithola ukuthi ngokuvamile maningi amathuba anjalo kuwo kanye amabandla ekuwo. Ngakho zama ukufika emihlanganweni yebandla ngaphambi kwesikhathi bese uhlala isikhashana ngemva kwayo. Lokhu kuyokunikeza isikhathi esengeziwe sokwazi abantu. Imihlangano yobuKristu nemibuthano emincane yokuzilibazisa inikeza amanye amathuba okwenza abangane abasha.

Nokho, isixwayiso sifanelekile: Ungasheshe wenze abangane abasha kangangokuba uqale ukujwayelana nentsha engenayo imigomo nezindinganiso ezingokomoya ezinjengezakho. Abanjalo bangaba ithonya elibi kuwe futhi bangakulimaza kunokuba bakuzuzise. (IzAga 13:20; 1 Korinte 15:33) Jwayelana nentsha engokomoya enedumela lokuziphatha okuhle.

Uma uthola othile onjalo, hlakulela ubungane ngokuhlela ukuba nenze izinto ndawonye. Yidlani ndawonye. Vakashelani emnyuziyamu. Shaywani umoya. Hlelani ukuchitha usuku enkonzweni yobuKristu ndawonye, niye kubantu nezindaba ezinhle zoMbuso kaNkulunkulu. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi nangomzamo, lobu buhlobo obusha bungakhula. Ngenxa yokuthi uthando lobuKristu lubanzi—‘luyanuleka’ ukuze luhlanganise nabanye—lapho uba nabangane abasha, akudingekile ube nomuzwa wokuthi awuthembekile kumngane wakho owathutha.

Ungase futhi uthole ithuba lokusondelana kakhudlwana nalabo abakuthanda kakhulu kunabo bonke—abazali bakho. Bangaba usizo olukhulu, nakuba ungase uqale uzizwe ungakhululekile ukwakha ubungane nabo. Osemusha okuthiwa uJosh wathi: “Kwadingeka ngiziphoqelele ukuba ngichithe isikhathi kanye nabo, njengoba ngangingasondelene nomama noma nobaba ngaleso sikhathi. Kodwa manje bangabangane bami abakhulu!”

Futhi khumbula, ukuthi usenomngane ezulwini. Njengoba uDan oneminyaka engu-13 ubudala akubeka, “empeleni awuwedwa ngoba usenoJehova.” UBaba wethu osezulwini singamthola ngaso sonke isikhathi ngomthandazo. Uyokusiza ukuba ubhekane nalesi simo esinzima uma uthembela kuye.—IHubo 55:22.

Gcina Umbono Oqondile

INkosi ehlakaniphile uSolomoni yanikeza lesi seluleko: “Ungasho ukuthi: Kwenziwa kanjani ukuba izinsuku zokuqala zazizinhle kunalezi na?” (UmShumayeli 7:10) Ngamanye amazwi, ungagxili esikhathini esidlule; sisebenzise ngokunenzuzo isikhathi samanje kanye nawo onke amathuba aso. UBill, manje oneminyaka esanda kweva kwengu-20, wenza lokho kanye lapho elahlekelwa umngane wakhe omkhulu. Uyakhumbula: “Ngemva kwesikhathi ngaqala ukuba nabangane abasha futhi angizange ngigxile esikhathini esidlule. Ngazama ukulungiselela isikhathi esizayo kuyilapho ngiphila esikhathini samanje.”

Lokhu kusikisela kungase kusize, kodwa kuhlala kudabukisa ukuthutha komngane wakho omkhulu. Kungase kuthathe isikhathi eside ngaphambi kokuba izinkumbulo zesikhathi esijabulisayo enaninaso ndawonye zingabe zisakubangela ubuhlungu. Khumbula nje ukuthi ushintsho luyingxenye yokuphila futhi lukunikeza ithuba lokuvuthwa nokukhula. Nakuba kungase kubonakale kungenakwenzeka ukuba umngane okhethekile athathelwe isikhundla ngokuphelele, ungahlakulela izimfanelo eziyokwenza ube ‘muhle kuJehova nakubantu.’ (1 Samuweli 2:26) Uma wenza lokho, uyohlala unothile ongambiza ngokuthi umngane wakho!

[Isithombe ekhasini 15]

Ukuvalelisa kumngane wakho omkhulu kuyisikhathi esibuhlungu