Kupenda Zosoŵa za Makolo Anu

KUTI mukhale wothandiza kwenikweni kwa makolo anu okalamba, muyenera kudziŵa zosoŵa ndi zokonda zawo. Apo phuluzi—ndi zolinga zabwino—mungapereke zinthu ndi mautumiki osafunikira kwa makolo anu ndipo amene ngakhale iwo sakuwafuna nkomwe, ngakhale kuti angazengereze kukuuzani zimenezo. Ndiyeno unansi wanu, chifukwa cha kusamvetsetsana, ungakhale wovutitsa mosafunikira osati kwa ino nokha komanso kwa makolo anu.

Kodi Iwo Amafunanji Kwenikweni?

Polingalira kuti tsiku lina kudzakhala kofunikira kusamutsira makolo ake m’nyumba mwake, mkazi awasamutsa panthaŵi yomweyo. Pambuyo pake apeza kuti makolo akewo adakali okhoza kudzikhalira m’nyumba yawoyawo—ndipo akakhala okondwa kwambiri mwanjirayo!

Atasamutsa makolo ake kudzakhala nawo m’nyumba mwake, mwana wamwamuna akuti: “Simudzindilipira ndalama pokhala m’nyumba mwanga! Simungatero pambuyo pondichitira zinthu zambiri zonsezo!” Komabe, zimenezi zichititsa makolo ake kudzilingalira kukhala odalira pa munthu wina mopambanitsa. M’kupita kwanthaŵi iwo amuuza kuti angakonde ulemu wa kukhala othandiza mwanjira inayake.

Banja litumikira makolo awo okalamba m’njira yaing’ono iliyonse kutsimikizira kuti iwo ali mumkhalidwe wabwino ndipo sakuthodwa ndi zochitachita. Pambuyo pake apeza kuti makolo awo amafuna kudzichitira okha zinthu zambiri.

M’chilichonse cha zitsanzo zili pamwambazi, mautumiki ochitidwawo anali osafunikira ndi osafunidwa ndi makolowo. Zimenezi zingathe kuchitika mosavuta ngati mwana wamwamuna kapena wamkazi wokhala ndi cholinga chabwino asonkhezeredwa ndi lingaliro lopambanitsa la kukhala ndi thayo kapena ngati pali kusamvetsetsana ponena za zosoŵa zenizeni za makolo. Talingalirani za kuvutika maganizo kosafunikira kumene zimenezi zimachititsa kwa onse okhudzidwa. Ndithudi, mankhwala ake ndiwo kupenda zosoŵa ndi zokonda zenizeni za makolo anu.

Kodi makolo anu akufunikiradi kusamukira m’nyumba mwanu pakali pano? Kodi iwo akufuna kutero nkomwe? Zingakudabwitseni kudziŵa kuti okalamba ena amakhumba kwambiri kukhala ndi moyo wodziimira paokha monga momwe kungathekere. Powopa kuonedwa kukhala osayamikira, iwo angazengereze kuuza ana awo kuti angakonde kudzikhalira okha m’nyumba yawoyawo, mosasamala kanthu za zovuta. Iwo angakhale akukonda ana awo ndi kulakalaka kuthera nawo nthaŵi limodzi. Koma kodi akhale odalira pa ana awo? Iyayi, iwo angakonde kudzichitira okha zinthu.

Mwinamwake tsiku lina kudzakhala kofunikira kusamutsira makolo anu m’nyumba mwanu. Komabe, ngati nthaŵiyo siinafikebe, ndipo ngati mowona mtima iwo akufuna kudzikhalira okha, nkuwamaniranji zakazo za kudziimira paokha? Kodi masinthidwe ena apanyumba kapena kuwaimbira lamya kwa nthaŵi zonse kapena kuwachezera kungachititse kuti apitirize kukhala m’nyumba yawo? Iwo angakhale achimwemwe kwambiri m’nyumba yawoyawo, akumadzipangira zosankha zawo za tsiku ndi tsiku.

Wopereka chisamaliro wina anafotokoza kufulumira kwake kwa kusamutsira amayi ake m’nyumba mwake kuti: “Pamene atate anamwalira, tinatenga amayi ndi kukhala nawo, tikumawachitira chisoni. Koma zinachitika kuti iwo anakhalabe ndi moyo kwa zaka 22. M’malo mogulitsa nyumba yawo, iwo akanapitirizabe kukhalamo. Musakhale ofulumira kusankha njira zimene ziyenera kutsatiridwa. Chosankha chonga chimenecho, chitapangidwa chimavuta kuchisinthanso.”—Yerekezerani ndi Mateyu 6:34.

‘Komabe,’ inuyo mungatsutse motero, ‘bwanji ngati chinachake chichitika kwa mmodzi wa makolo anga pamene akukhala m’nyumba yawoyawo? Ngati amayi kapena atate angagwe ndi kudzipweteka, ndingamve kukhala waliwongo kwambiri! ’ Imeneyi ndinkhaŵa yomvekera bwino, makamaka ngati nyonga kapena thanzi la makolo anu yakhala yofooka kwambiri moti palidi chiwopsezo cha ngozi. Komabe, ngati sizili choncho, dzifunseni nokha ngati kuti nkhaŵa yanuyo ili kaamba ka makolo anu kapena kaamba ka inu mwini, kuti mupeŵe kudzimva waliwongo mosayenera.

Talingaliraninso kuthekera kwakuti makolo anu angakhale bwinopo m’nyumba yawoyawo. M’buku lakuti You and Your Aging Parents, Edith M. Stern ndi Dr. Mabel Ross akunena kuti: “Kufufuza kwasonyeza kuti anthu okalamba amakhala okangalika ndi aumoyo kwambiri pamene ali m’nyumba zawozawo koposa kwina kulikonse. Mwachidule, zoyesayesa zambiri zolakwika za kupangitsa zaka zotsirizira kukhala zabwinopo zimangokhala zachipambano m’kuzipangitsa kunyonyotsoka mofulumira kwambiri.” Chotero, thandizani makolo anu kukhala ndi moyo modziimira paokha monga momwe kungathekere, pamenenso mukupereka chisamaliro ndi mautumiki amene ali ofunikiradi kwa iwo. Muyeneranso kupenda nthaŵi ndi nthaŵi ndi kupanga masinthidwe pamene zosoŵa za makolo anu zikuwonjezereka kapena ngakhale kuchepekera.

Khalani Atcheru

Mwakupenda thanzi ndi mikhalidwe ya makolo anu, mwinamwake kuwatenga ndi kukhala nawo m’nyumba mwanu ndiko kungakhale chosankha chabwino koposa. Ngati ndichoncho, khalani atcheru ponena za kuthekera kwakuti iwo angakonde kumadzichitira okha zinthu zambiri monga momwe kungathekere. Mofanana ndi anthu a msinkhu uliwonse, mwachionekere nawonso amakhumba kukhala ozindikirika, kukhala ndi programu yawoyawo ya zochita, ndi mabwenzi awoawo. Zimenezi zingakhale zabwino. Ngakhale kuti kudzakala kokondweretsa kuchitira pamodzi zinthu zina pachibale, kungakhale bwino kwa inu kupatula zochita zina kaamba ka banja lanulanu lokhalo ndi kulola makolo anunso kukhala ndi zochita zawozawo. Wopereka chisamaliro wina ananena mwanzeru kuti: “Tsimikizirani kuti makolo anu ali ndi mipando yabwinopo ndi zithunzithunzi zojambulidwa zimene amakonda kwambiri.”

Poyesayesa kuzindikira zosoŵa zenizeni za makolo anu, lankhulani nawo. Mvetserani nkhaŵa zawo ndipo khalani atcheru ndi zimene angakhale akuyesa kukuuzani. Afotokozereni zimene muli wokhoza kuwachitira ndi zimene simuli wokhoza kotero kuti asadzagwiritsidwe mwala ndi ziyembekezo zonama. “Khalani wozindikira bwino lomwe zimene zingayembekezeredwe kwa onse a m’banja,” anatero wopereka chisamaliro wina. “Kambitsiranani kaŵirikaŵiri kuwapeŵetsa kukhala ndi malingaliro oipa ndi kuipidwa mtima.” Ngati mupanga malonjezo aliwonse anthaŵi yaitali a kuwachitira chinthu (“Ndidzidzakuonani pa Lolemba lililonse masana”; “Ndidzakhala ndikupita nanu pamapeto a mlungu aliwonse”), ndibwino ngati mungakumveketse bwino kuti mudzafuna kuyesa kwa nyengo yanthaŵi yakutiyakuti ndi kuona mmene zidzayendera. Mwakutero, ngati zioneka kukhala zosatheka, mwaŵi ulipo kale wa kusintha zimenezo.

Palibe chilichonse cha zotchulidwa pamwambapa chimene chiyenera kutengedwa kukhala chifukwa chomanira makolo ulemu ndi chithandizo zowayenerera. Lingaliro la Mlengi pankhaniyi nlomvekera bwino. Ana achikulire ayenera kupatsa makolo awo ulemu, chisamaliro, ndi chichirikizo. Yesu anatsutsa Afarisi odziyesa okha olungama chifukwa cha kupotoza malemba kuti alungamitse kunyalanyaza kwawo makolo. Mawu olongosola momvekera bwino a pa Miyambo 30:17 amasonyeza kunyansidwa kumene Mulungu amakhala nako pa awo amene salemekeza makolo awo kuti: “Diso lochitira atate wake chiphwete, ndi kunyoza kumvera amake, makungubwi a kumtsinje adzalikolowola, ana a mphungu adzalidya.”—Onani Marko 7:9-13; 1 Timoteo 5:4, 8.

Pamene mukupereka chisamaliro chofunikira kwa makolo anu, mungapezenso zovuta zatsopano. Kodi mungachite nazo motani zimenezi? Nkhani yotsatira idzapereka malingaliro ena.

[Zithunzi patsamba 5]

Kholo lingasangalale kudzichitira zinthu ndi mabwenzi ndiponso ndi banja