Achinyamata Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Kodi Abambo Angathaŵedi Ana Awo?

“Pamene mkaziyo anandiuza kuti, ‘Ndili ndi mimba yanu,’ ndinadzidzimuka kwambiri. Akasamala ndani mwanayo? Sindinali wokonzeka kusamalira banja. Ndinaganiza zothaŵa.”—Jim.a

“CHAKA chilichonse, pafupifupi atsikana okwana miliyoni imodzi . . . amatenga mimba,” linatero lipoti la bungwe la Alan Guttmacher Institute. Ana ambiri okwana “78 mwa ana 100 alionse obadwa kwa atsikana amakhala apathengo.”

Masiku akale, amuna amafunitsitsa kusamalira ana amene abereka. Koma malinga ndi mmene buku la Teenage Fathers likunenera, “masiku ano mimba yapathengo siyochititsa manyazi ndiponso kunyozetsa ngati kale.” Pakati pa achinyamata m’madera ena, kubereka mwana kungaoneke ngati chinthu chotchukitsa! Koma ndi anyamata ochepa amene amadzipereka kwa nthaŵi yaitali kusamalira ana amene abereka. Ambiri m’kupita kwa nthaŵi amasiya kapena kuthaŵa kumene udindo wawo. b

Koma kodi mnyamata angathaŵedi zotsatira za khalidwe lake la chisembwere? Malinga ndi kunena kwa Baibulo sizingatheke. Baibulo limachenjeza kuti: “Musanyengedwe; Mulungu sanyozeka. Pakuti chimene munthu achifesa, chimenenso adzachituta.” (Agalatiya 6:7) Monga mmene tidzaonera, chisembwere chimakhala ndi zotsatira zopweteka kwa moyo wonse wa atsikana ndi anyamata omwe. Achinyamata angapeŵe mavuto amenewo mwa kumvera malangizo achindunji a m’Baibulo oletsa chisembwere.

Kungochoka Sikopepuka

Kusamalira mwana kumafuna kuwonongerapo nthaŵi yochuluka, ndalama, komanso kudzimana ufulu. Buku la mutu wakuti Young Unwed Fathers limati: “Anyamata ena safuna ‘kusamala munthu wina,’ makamaka ngati kumafuna kutayirapo ndalama zawo zambiri.” Komabe, ambiri amadzakhaula chifukwa cha kudzikonda kwawoko. Mwachitsanzo, makhoti ndi okhazikitsa malamulo m’mayiko ambiri salekerera abambo amene amalephera kusamalira ana awo. Pamene kukhala bambo kwatsimikizika mwalamulo, abambo achinyamata amalamulidwa kulipiriratu kaamba ka zaka za m’tsogolo ndipo ayenera kuterodi. Anyamata ambiri amakakamizika kusiya sukulu kapena kugwira ntchito ya malipiro otsika kuti akwaniritse udindo wotero. “Kukhala kholo uli wamng’ono kumapangitsa munthu kusaphunzira kwambiri.” Linatero buku la School-Age Pregnancy and Parenthood. Ndipo ngati wina alephera kupereka ndalama zothandizira, angakhale ndi ngongole yoopsa.

Zoona, si anyamata onse amene amaumira mtima mwana wawo. Ambiri amayamba ndi malingaliro abwino. Malinga ndi kafukufuku wina, 75 peresenti ya abambo achinyamata amakazonda ndithu ana awo ali ku chipatala. Koma posapita nthaŵi abambo ambiri achinyamata amatopa ndi udindo wosamalira mwana.

Ambiri amazindikira kuti alibe luso lina lililonse kapena njira zopezera ntchito. Pochita manyanzi chifukwa chosadziŵa njira zopezera ndalama, amangothaŵa osaoneka. Komabe ngakhale zili choncho, chikumbumtima chopweteka chimavutitsa mnyamatayo kwa zaka zambiri zotsatira. Mnyamata wina anavomera kuti: “Nthaŵi zina ndimada nkhaŵa kwambiri za mwana wanga. . . . Zimandivutitsa maganizo kwambiri ndikaganiza kuti ndinamusiya, koma tsopano ndinam’taya. Mwina tsiku lina adzandipeza.”

Mavuto Ochititsidwa ndi Abambo kwa Anawo

Abambo othaŵa ana amalimbananso ndi vuto lochita manyazi aakulu—manyazi chifukwa chovutitsa mwana wawo yemwe. Ndi iko komwe, malinga ndi mmene Baibulo limanenera, mwana amafuna makolo onse aŵiri mayi ndi bambo. (Eksodo 20:12; Miyambo 1:8, 9) Pamene bambo asiya mwana wake, amapangitsa mwanayo kukumana ndi mavuto ambiri. Lipoti la Department of Health and Human Services ya ku United States linati: “Ana aang’ono m’mabanja a mayi yekha sakhoza bwino maphunziro a chiyankhulo ndi masamu pamene alemba mayeso. Pamene asinkhukirapo, ana oleredwa ndi kholo limodzi sakhozabe bwino, amakhalanso ovutitsa, komanso amadwaladwala ndiponso amakhala ndi vuto lakaganizidwe. Ena mwa achinyamata a zaka zosinkhukirapo okulira m’banja la mayi yekha, amakumana ndi vuto lokhala ndi ana akadali aang’ono, kusiya sukulu, kumangidwa, komanso ulova.”

Magazini yotchedwa Atlantic Monthly inathirira ndemanga kuti: “Malinga ndi umboni wa sayansi yachikhalidwe, ana obadwira m’mabanja omwe makolo awo anasudzulana komanso apathengo, sakhala ndi khalidwe labwino kwenikweni m’mbali zambiri ngati mmene alili ana okhala ndi makolo onse aŵiri. Ana a m’mabanja a kholo limodzi ali ndi kuthekera kwa kusauka koŵirikiza kasanu ndi kamodzi kuposa enawo. Ndipo kaŵirikaŵiri amakhala osaukabe.”

Dziŵani kuti malipoti a kafukufuku ameneŵa akunena za magulu a anthu osati munthu mmodzi payekha. Ana ambiri amakula bwino, kukhala anzeru ngakhale kuti anakulira m’banja losapeza bwino. Ngakhale zili choncho, mnyamata amene anathaŵa udindo wosamala mwana wake angakhale ndi maganizo odziimba mlandu. “Ndili ndi chisoni chifukwa ndinam’sokonezera moyo wake wonse,” anadandaula motero bambo wina wosakwatira.—Nyuzipepala ya Teeenage Fathers.

Vuto Popereka Chithandizo

Si abambo onse achinyamata amene amathaŵa udindo. Achinyamata ena oganiza bwino amadzimva kukhala ndi udindo pa ana awo ndipo ndi mtima wonse amafunitsitsa kuthandiza kulera anawo. Komabe, nthaŵi zambiri izi zimangonenedwa osati kuchitidwa. Chifukwa china n’chakuti bambo wachinyamata, mwalamulo angakhale ndi ufulu wochepa, pamene mtsikana ndi makolo ake ndiwo amakhala ndi ulamuliro womuuza pamene angamaonane ndi mwana wake. “Pamakhala kunyengerera nthaŵi zonse kuti ukhale ndi chonena pa mwanayo,” anatero Jim, wogwidwa mawu koyambirira. Chosankha chingapangidwe chimene Bambo wachinyamata angakane mwamphamvu malingaliro ena monga kuti mwanayo aleredwe ndi munthu wina mwinanso kuchotsa mimba kumene.c “Ndikovuta kwa ine kuwavomereza kuti am’pereke kwa munthu wosam’dziŵa, koma palibe mmene ndingachitire,” anadandaula motero bambo wina wachinyamata.”

Anyamata ena amadzipereka kuti akwatire mayi wa mwana wawoyo.d N’zoona kuti ukwati ungapangitse mtsikana kusanyozeka komanso kupangitsa mwana wodzabadwayo kuleredwa ndi makolo onse aŵiri. Zingathekenso kuti ngakhale zinalakwika, achinyamatawo angakhale okondana kwambiri. Komatu ngakhale mnyamata atakhala wobereka sizikutanthauza kuti ali wokhwima maganizo, zimene zimafunika kuti akhale mwamuna ndi bambo weniweni. Sizikutanthauzanso kuti pamenepo akhoza kusunga mkazi ndi mwana wake ayi. Kafukufuku akusonyeza kuti maukwati okhalapo chifukwa cha mimba sakhalitsa. Choncho kuthamangira ukwati si chinthu chanzeru nthaŵi zonse.

Achinyamata ambiri amachita choyenera mwa kudzipereka kuti asamalire ana awo mwa kumapereka ndalama. Monga tanena kale, pamafunikira khama lenileni kuti bambo wachinyamata apitirize kusamalira mwana kwa nthaŵi yaitali—mwina kwa zaka 18 ngakhalenso kupitirira! Ndipotu chithandizo chanthaŵi zonse cha ndalama chingathandize mayi ndi mwana kusakhala paumphaŵi.

Nanga bwanji kulerera pamodzi mwanayo? Apanso pangakhale vuto lalikulu. Nthaŵi zina makolo a mnyamata ndi mtsikana amaopa kuti angayambenso kugona malo amodzi ndiye amangoletseratu aŵiriwo kuti asamaonanenso. Mkaziyonso payekha angasankhe kuti mwana wake asakhale paubwenzi ndi mwamuna amene sanam’kwatire. Mulimonse mmene zingakhalire, ngati bambo aloledwa kumakaona mwanayo moŵirikiza, mabanja angachite bwino kutsimikiza kuti aŵiriwo akuyang’aniridwa kuti apeŵe kugonanso malo amodzi.

Chifukwa cha chikhumbo chofuna kukhala pafupi ndi ana awo, abambo ena osakwatira aphunzira mmene angachitire mbali zina zofunika zolerera ana monga kuwasambitsa, kuwadyetsa, ngakhale kuwaŵerengera buku. Wachinyamata amene waphunzirapo miyezo ya Baibulo angaphunzitse mwana wake ina ya mikhalidwe ya m’Mawu a Mulungu. (Aefeso 6:4) Koma pamene kuli kwakuti chisamaliro china cha chikondi cha bambo chili chabwino kwa mwana, n’zosiyanadi ndi kungokhala ndi bambo amene umangomuona tsiku ndi tsiku. Ndipo ngati mayi wa mwanayo akwatiwa, bambo wachinyamatayo angakhale wopanda chochita pamene mwamuna wina akum’tengera udindo wolera mwana wake.

Choncho m’pomveka kuti kubereka mwana popanda ukwati kumabweretsa mavuto aakulu kwa makolo ndi mwanayo. Kuwonjezera pa mavuto akuthupi, palinso ngozi yotaya chiyanjo cha Yehova Mulungu, amene amadana ndi chisembwere. (1 Atesalonika 4:3) Pamene kungakhale kotheka kuzoloŵerana ndi mavuto monga kutenga mimba ukali mwana, n’kwabwino kudziŵa kuti njira yabwino ndiyo kupeŵa ndi kusaloŵa mumkhalidwewo poyambirira pomwe. Bambo wachinyamata wina akuvomereza kuti: “Ukakhala ndi mwana usanakwatire, moyo wako udzasinthiratu mpaka kalekale.” Indedi, bambo wachinyamata amavutika ndi zotsatira za cholakwa chake kwa moyo wake wonse. (Agalatiya 6:8) Kachiŵirinso, uphungu wa m’Baibulo wakhala woona pamene umati: “Thaŵani dama”—1 Akorinto 6:18.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 23]

Ndibwino kupeŵa khalidwe la chisembwere poyambirira pomwe