Ukwati Ndi Mphatso Yochokera Kwa Mulungu Wachikondi

1, 2. (a) Kodi tingadzifunse mafunso otani anthu akamalowa m’banja, nanga n’chifukwa chiyani? (b) Kodi m’mutu uno tikambirana mafunso ati?

KODI mumakonda kupita kuukwati? Ambiri amakonda kupita kuukwati chifukwa ukwati ndi wosangalatsa kwambiri. Zimakhala zosangalatsa kuona akwati atatchena. Koma chimene chimasangalatsa kwambiri n’chakuti okwatiranawo amakhala ndi chimwemwe chodzadza tsaya. Pa tsikuli iwo amakhala osangalala kwambiri ndipo zimaoneka kuti tsogolo lawo likhala labwino kwambiri.

² Komabe, n’zoona kuti masiku ano m’mabanja ambiri mumakhala mavuto. Anthu akakwatirana timayembekezera kuti adzakhala ndi banja losangalala kwambiri. Komabe nthawi zina timadzifunsa kuti: ‘Kodi banja limeneli lidzakhaladi losangalala? Nanga lidzakhala lolimba?’ Mayankho a mafunso amenewa akudalira ngati mwamuna ndi mkazi amakhulupirira ndi kugwiritsa ntchito malangizo a Mulungu okhudza banja. (Werengani Miyambo 3:5, 6.) Iwo ayenera kuchita zimenezi kuti Mulungu apitirizebe kuwakonda. Tsopano tiyeni tione mayankho a m’Baibulo a mafunso 4 otsatirawa: Kodi munthu ayenera kulowa m’banja pa zifukwa ziti? Ngati mukufuna kulowa m’banja, kodi muyenera kusankha mwamuna kapena mkazi wotani? Kodi mungakonzekere bwanji banja? Ndiponso, kodi n’chiyani chingathandize okwatirana kukhalabe ndi banja losangalala?

 3. Kodi n’chifukwa chiyani si nzeru kulowa m’banja pa zifukwa zosamveka?

³ Anthu ena amakhulupirira kuti banja n’lofunika kwambiri kuti munthu akhale wosangalala. Ndipo amaganiza kuti munthu sangakhale wosangalala ngati sali pa banja. Koma zimenezi si zoona. Yesu anali wosakwatira ndipo ananena kuti imeneyi ndi mphatso ndiponso analimbikitsa anthu amene angathe kukhala osakwatira kapena osakwatiwa kuti akhalebe choncho. (Mateyu 19:11, 12) Nayenso mtumwi Paulo anafotokoza ubwino wosakwatira kapena kusakwatiwa. (1 Akorinto 7:32-38) Komabe, Yesu ndi Paulo sanaike lamulo loletsa anthu kulowa m’banja. Ndipotu ‘kuletsa kukwatira’ ndi chimodzi cha “ziphunzitso za ziwanda.” (1 Timoteyo 4:1-3) Koma kukhala wosakwatira kapena wosakwatiwa n’kwabwino kwambiri kwa anthu amene akufuna kutumikira Yehova popanda zododometsa. Choncho, si nzeru kulowa m’banja pa zifukwa zosamveka, monga kungotengera anthu ena.

 4. Kodi banja labwino lingakhale bwanji malo abwino olerera ana?

⁴ Komabe, kodi pali zifukwa zomveka zolowera m’banja? Inde, zilipo. Nawonso ukwati ndi mphatso yochokera kwa Mulungu wathu wachikondi. (Werengani Genesis 2:18.) Choncho, banja lili ndi ubwino wake ndipo lingathe kubweretsa madalitso ambiri. Mwachitsanzo, banja labwino ndi malo abwino kwambiri olerera ana. Ana amafunikira kuleredwa pa malo abwino ndi makolo amene angawasonyeze chikondi ndi kuwapatsa malangizo. (Salimo 127:3; Aefeso 6:1-4) Komabe, kubereka ana si chifukwa chokhacho chimene anthu ayenera kulowera m’banja.

5, 6. (a) Malinga ndi lemba la Mlaliki 4:9-12, kodi ubwenzi wolimba kwambiri uli ndi ubwino wotani? (b) Kodi banja lingafanane bwanji ndi chingwe chopotedwa ndi zingwe zitatu?

⁵ Taganizirani lemba la mutu wa nkhani ino limodzi ndi mavesi ena oyandikana nalo. Mavesiwa amati: “Awiri amaposa mmodzi, chifukwa amapeza mphoto yabwino pa ntchito yawo imene amaigwira mwakhama. Ngati mmodzi wa iwo atagwa, winayo akhoza kum’dzutsa mnzakeyo. Koma kodi zingakhale bwanji munthu mmodzi atagwa popanda wina woti am’dzutse? Komanso, anthu awiri akagona pamodzi, amamva kutentha. Koma kodi mmodzi yekha angamve bwanji kutentha? Ngati wina angagonjetse munthu mmodzi, anthu awiri akhoza kulimbana naye. Ndipo chingwe chopotedwa ndi zingwe zitatu sichingaduke msanga.”—Mlaliki 4:9-12.

⁶ Kwenikweni mavesi amenewa akunena za ubwino wokhala ndi mnzako. Choncho banja ndi ubwenzi wa anthu awiri ogwirizana kwambiri. Monga mmene mavesiwa asonyezera, mabwenzi amenewa angamathandizane, kulimbikitsana ndiponso kutetezana. Koma kuti banja likhale lolimba kwambiri sizimangodalira anthu awiri okhawo ayi. Lembali likusonyeza kuti chingwe chopotedwa ndi zingwe ziwiri zokha chingathe kuduka. Koma n’zovuta kuti chingwe chopotedwa ndi zingwe zitatu chiduke. Ngati mkazi ndi mwamuna wake amafunitsitsa kusangalatsa Yehova, banja lawo limakhala ngati chingwe chopotedwa ndi zingwe zitatu. Kudzipereka kwawo kwa Yehova n’kumene kumapangitsa kuti banja lawo likhale lolimba kwambiri.

7, 8. (a) Kodi Paulo anapereka malangizo otani kwa Akhristu osakwatira kapena osakwatiwa amene akuvutika ndi chilakolako chogonana? (b) Kodi Baibulo limafotokoza mfundo yoona iti yokhudza banja?

⁷ Komanso ndi m’banja mokha mmene anthu angathetsere chilakolako chogonana. Ndipotu ndi m’banja mokha mmene kugonana kumakhaladi kosangalatsa. (Miyambo 5:18) Munthu angamavutikebe ndi chilakolako chogonana ngakhale atapitirira msinkhu umene Baibulo limati “pachimake pa unyamata,” kutanthauza msinkhu umene amalakalaka kwambiri kugonana. Choncho, ngati atalephera kudziletsa, chilakolako chimenechi chingamupangitse kuti achite dama kapena makhalidwe ena odetsa. Paulo anauziridwa kulemba malangizo otsatirawa kwa anthu osakwatira kapena osakwatiwa: “Ngati sangathe kudziletsa, akwatire, pakuti ndi bwino kukwatira kusiyana ndi kuvutika ndi chilakolako.”—1 Akorinto 7:9, 36; Yakobo 1:15.

⁸ Kaya munthu akufuna kulowa m’banja pa zifukwa ziti, iye ayenera kudziwa zoona zake za banja. Monga mmene Paulo ananenera, anthu amene alowa m’banja “adzakhala ndi nsautso m’thupi mwawo.” (1 Akorinto 7:28) Anthu apabanja amakumana ndi mavuto amene anthu omwe sali pa banja sangakumane nawo. Komano ngati mukufuna kulowa m’banja, kodi inuyo mungatani kuti mudzachepetse mavutowa n’kudzasangalala m’banja mwanu? Chinthu chimodzi chimene mungachite ndi kusankha mwanzeru munthu wodzamanga naye banja.

9, 10. (a) Kodi Paulo anayerekezera kuopsa kokwatirana ndi munthu wosakhulupirira ndi chiyani? (b) Kodi kunyalanyaza malangizo a Mulungu oletsa kukwatirana ndi munthu wosakhulupirira, kumabweretsa mavuto otani?

⁹ Paulo anauziridwa kulemba mfundo yofunika kwambiri imene iyenera kugwiritsidwa ntchito posankha munthu wokwatirana naye. Iye anati: “Musamangidwe m’goli ndi osakhulupirira.” (2 Akorinto 6:14) Ponena mawu amenewa, iye anayerekezera ndi zimene zinkachitika pa ulimi. Ngati nyama ziwiri zosiyana msinkhu ndi mphamvu azimangirira pa goli limodzi, zonse zimavutika. Mofanana ndi zimenezi, kukwatirana ndi munthu wosakhulupirira kumabweretsa mavuto ambiri. Ngati munthu mmodzi m’banja akufuna kuchita zinthu zosangalatsa Yehova, koma winayo sizimam’khudza kwenikweni kapena alibiretu nazo chidwi, pamakhala mavuto ambiri. Zimakhala choncho chifukwa chakuti zimene winayo akuona kuti n’zofunika kwambiri zimakhala zosafunika kwa winayo. N’chifukwa chake Paulo analimbikitsa Akhristu kukwatira kapena kukwatiwa “mwa Ambuye.”—1 Akorinto 7:39.

¹⁰ Nthawi zina Mkhristu angaganize kuti ndi bwino kumangidwa m’goli ndi munthu wosakhulupirira kusiyana ndi kumangokhala yekha. Ena amanyalanyaza malangizo a m’Baibulo ndi kukwatirana ndi munthu amene satumikira Yehova. Koma nthawi zambiri zotsatira zake zimakhala zomvetsa chisoni. Anthu amene satsatira malangizowa, amakwatirana ndi munthu amene sangathe kukambirana naye zinthu zofunika kwambiri m’moyo. Vuto losowa mnzawo limakula kwambiri kusiyana ndi mmene zinalili asanalowe m’banja. Koma chosangalatsa n’chakuti pali Akhristu osakwatira ndi osakwatiwa ambiri amene amakhulupirira ndi kutsatira malangizo a Mulungu pa nkhani imeneyi. (Werengani Salimo 32:8.) Akhristu amenewa amadziwa kuti tsiku lina adzalowa m’banja, koma amayembekezera mpaka pamene adzapeze munthu woyenera kukwatirana naye, yemwenso amalambira Yehova Mulungu.

11. Kodi n’chiyani chingakuthandizeni kusankha mwanzeru munthu wokwatirana naye? (Onaninso bokosi “Kodi Ndiyenera Kuyang’ana Chiyani Ndikamafuna Wodzamanga Naye Banja?”)

¹¹ Komabe, sikuti munthu akakhala mtumiki wa Yehova ndiye kuti basi ndi woyenera kukwatirana naye. Ngati mukuganiza zolowa m’banja, fufuzani munthu amene makhalidwe ndi zolinga zake zauzimu n’zogwirizana ndi zanu ndiponso amene amakonda Mulungu mmene inuyo mumam’kondera. Kapolo wokhulupirika ndi wanzeru wafalitsa nkhani zambiri zothandiza pa nkhani imeneyi. Mungachite bwino kuganizira malangizo a m’Malemba amenewa ndi kupemphera kuti muwagwiritse ntchito posankha zochita pa nkhani yofunika kwambiri imeneyi.a—Werengani Salimo 119:105.

12. Kodi m’mayiko ambiri amatsatira mwambo wotani pa nkhani ya ukwati, nanga m’Baibulo muli chitsanzo cha ndani chimene makolo angatsatire?

¹² M’mayiko ambiri, amatsatira mwambo woti makolo azisankhira mwana wawo munthu wokwatirana naye. Anthu a zikhalidwe zimenezi amakhulupirira kuti makolo ndi amene amadziwa bwino kusankha munthu woyenerana ndi mwana wawoyo chifukwa chakuti iwo amadziwa zambiri. Nthawi zambiri mabanja amene makolo amafunira ana awo munthu wokwatirana naye amayenda bwino, monga mmene zinkachitikira m’nthawi za m’Baibulo. Zimene Abulahamu anachita potuma munthu kuti akapezere mwana wake Isaki mkazi, ndi chitsanzo kwa makolo amene akufuna kupezera mwana wawo munthu womanga naye banja. Abulahamu sanafunire mwana wake mkazi wochokera ku banja lotchuka kapena lolemera. Koma iye anayesetsa kuti apezere Isaki mkazi pakati pa anthu olambira Yehova.b—Genesis 24:3, 67.

13-15. (a) Kodi mfundo yopezeka pa Miyambo 24:27 ingathandize bwanji mwamuna amene akufuna kukwatira? (b) Kodi mkazi angatani pokonzekera banja?

¹³ Ngati mwatsimikizadi kuti mukufuna kulowa m’banja, mungachite bwino kudzifunsa kuti, ‘Kodi ndine wokonzekadi kulowa m’banja?’ Kukhala wokonzeka sikumangotanthauza mmene mukumvera mumtima mwanu pa nkhani za chikondi, kugonana, kupeza bwenzi lapamtima kapenanso kubereka ana. M’malomwake, muyenera kuganizira za maudindo amene mudzakhale nawo mukadzalowa m’banja.

¹⁴ Mwamuna amene akufuna kukwatira ayenera kuganizira kwambiri mfundo iyi: “Konzekera ntchito yako yapanja, ndipo konza munda wako. Ukatero ukamange banja lako.” (Miyambo 24:27) Kodi zimenezi zikutanthauza chiyani? Kale, mwamuna akafuna kukwatira, ankafunikira kudzifunsa kuti, ‘Kodi ndine wokonzeka kusamalira mkazi wanga ndi ana amene tingadzakhale nawo?’ Choyamba, iye ankafunika kugwira ntchito, kapena kuti kulima munda wake ndi kusamalira mbewu. Mfundo imeneyi ikugwirabe ntchito masiku ano. Mwamuna amene akufuna kukwatira akufunikira kukonzekera udindo umenewu. Ngati ali ndi thanzi labwino, iye ayenera kumagwira ntchito. Mawu a Mulungu amanena kuti mwamuna amene sasamalira banja lake, ndipo amalephera kulipezera zofunika pa moyo, kulisonyeza chikondi ndiponso kulithandiza mwauzimu, ndi woipa kuposa munthu wosakhulupirira.—Werengani 1 Timoteyo 5:8.

¹⁵ Nayenso mkazi amene wasankha kukwatiwa ndiye kuti akuvomereza udindo waukulu wosamalira banja. Baibulo limatchula ntchito zina zimene mkazi ayenera kuchita pothandizana ndi mwamuna wake. (Miyambo 31:10-31) Amuna ndi akazi amene amathamangira kulowa m’banja asanakonzekere kudzakwaniritsa maudindo awo amakhala odzikonda, chifukwa saganizira zinthu zabwino zimene angadzachitire munthu amene adzakwatirane naye. Koma chofunika kwambiri kwa anthu amene akufuna kulowa m’banja ndi kukonzekera kudzagwiritsira ntchito malangizo a Mulungu m’banja lawo.

16, 17. Kodi anthu amene akukonzekera kumanga banja ayenera kuganizira mfundo za m’Malemba ziti?

¹⁶ Munthu akamakonzekera banja ayenera kuganizira udindo umene Mulungu anapereka kwa mwamuna ndi mkazi. Mwamuna ayenera kudziwa zimene kukhala mutu wa banja lachikhristu kumatanthauza. Udindo umenewu sutanthauza kuti mwamuna akhale wolamulira wankhanza. M’malomwake, iye ayenera kutsanzira mmene Yesu amachitira potsogolera mpingo monga mutu. (Aefeso 5:23) Mkazi wachikhristu ayeneranso kudziwa udindo wake wofunikira m’banja. Kodi ndi wokonzeka kudzagonjera “lamulo la mwamuna wake”? (Aroma 7:2) Mkaziyo amatsatira kale lamulo la Yehova ndi la Khristu. (Agalatiya 6:2) Koma akadzakwatiwa adzayenera kumveranso lamulo la mwamuna wake chifukwa mwamunayo ali ndi ulamuliro m’banja. Kodi iye ndi wokonzeka kugonjera ndiponso kugwirizana ndi ulamuliro wa mwamuna wake yemwe ndi wopanda ungwiro? Ngati akuona kuti sangakwanitse zimenezi, angachite bwino kukhala wosakwatiwa.

¹⁷ Kuwonjezera pamenepa, mwamuna kapena mkazi ayenera kukhala wokonzeka kudzakwaniritsa zimene mkazi kapena mwamuna wakeyo amafunikira kwambiri. (Werengani Afilipi 2:4.) Paulo analemba kuti: “Aliyense wa inu akonde mkazi wake ngati mmene amadzikondera yekha, komanso mkazi azilemekeza kwambiri mwamuna wake.” Mouziridwa ndi Mulungu, Paulo anadziwa kuti chimene mwamuna amafunika kwambiri ndi kudziwa kuti mkazi wake amamulemekeza kwambiri. Ndipo chofunika kwambiri kwa mkazi ndi kudziwa kuti mwamuna wake amamukonda kwambiri.—Aefeso 5:21-33.

18. Kodi n’chifukwa chiyani anthu amene ali pa chibwenzi ayenera kukhala odziletsa?

¹⁸ Choncho, mungaone kuti nthawi ya chibwenzi si nthawi yongosangalala. Imeneyi ndi nthawi imene mwamuna ndi mkazi ayenera kudziwana bwino kuti aone ngati kungakhale koyenera kukwatirana. Imeneyinso ndi nthawi yofunika kudziletsa kwambiri. Zili choncho chifukwa pa nthawi imeneyi mumafuna kusonyezana kwambiri chikondi. Ndipotu kufuna kusonyezana chikondi ndi kwachibadwa. Komabe, anthu amene amakondanadi amapewa kuchita chilichonse chimene chingasokoneze ubwenzi wa munthu amene amamukondayo ndi Yehova. (1 Atesalonika 4:6) Choncho, ngati muli pa chibwenzi muyenera kudziletsa ndipo khalidwe limeneli lidzakuthandizani pa moyo wanu wonse, kaya mutalowa m’banja kapena ayi.

19, 20. Mosiyana ndi anthu ambiri m’dzikoli, kodi Mkhristu ayenera kuliona bwanji banja? Perekani chitsanzo.

¹⁹ Kuti banja likhale lolimba, mwamuna ndi mkazi ayenera kudziwa kuti kukhulupirika n’kofunika kwambiri. Ukwati si mapeto a zinthu, koma ndi chiyambi cha mgwirizano umene Yehova anakonza kuti ukhale mpaka kalekale. (Genesis 2:24) N’zomvetsa chisoni kuti umu si mmene anthu ambiri amaonera ukwati masiku ano. M’mayiko ena amanena kuti ukwati uli ngati kumanga mfundo ndi zingwe ziwiri. N’kutheka kuti iwo sadziwa kuti fanizo limeneli limagwirizana ndi maganizo olakwika amene anthu ambiri ali nawo pa nkhani ya banja. N’chifukwa chiyani tikutero? Chifukwa mfundo imene yamangidwa bwino iyenera kukhala yolimba koma yosavuta kumasula.

²⁰ Mofanana ndi zimenezi, anthu ambiri masiku ano amaona kuti ukwati ndi chinthu chosakhalitsa. Iwo amafulumira kulowa m’banja poganiza kuti apeza zofuna zawo, koma akangoona kuti ayamba kukumana ndi mavuto amafuna kulithetsa. Koma kumbukirani fanizo la chingwe limene Baibulo limagwiritsa ntchito pofotokoza mgwirizano wa mwamuna ndi mkazi. Zingwe zimene zimagwiritsidwa ntchito pa chombo choyenda panyanja zikuluzikulu, zimapangidwa kuti zikhale zolimba kwambiri zoti sizingaduke chisawawa ngakhale chombocho chitakumana ndi mphepo yamkuntho yoopsa kwambiri. Banja nalonso linakonzedwa kuti lizikhala lolimba. Kumbukirani zimene Yesu ananena kuti: “Chimene Mulungu wachimanga pamodzi, munthu asachilekanitse.” (Mateyu 19:6) Ngati mwalowa m’banja, muyenera kukhala ndi maganizo amenewa. Kodi kutsatira lamulo limeneli kumapangitsa banja kukhala chimtolo cholemetsa? Ayi.

21. Kodi mwamuna ndi mkazi wake ayenera kupitiriza kuchita chiyani, nanga n’chiyani chimene chingawathandize kuchita zimenezi?

²¹ Mwamuna ndi mkazi wake ayenera kupitiriza kuyamikirana. Ngati aliyense akuyesetsa kuyang’ana kwambiri makhalidwe abwino ndi khama la mnzakeyo, adzasangalala kwambiri ndi banja lawo. Kodi n’zotheka kuyang’ana zabwino mwa mkazi kapena mwamuna wopanda ungwiro? Yehova satipempha kuchita zinthu zosatheka. Iye amayang’ana zabwino zimene timachita ndipo zili bwino kuti amachita zimenezi. Wamasalimo anafunsa kuti: “Inu Ya, mukanakhala kuti mumayang’anitsitsa zolakwa, ndani akanaima pamaso panu, inu Yehova?” (Salimo 130:3) Mwamuna ndi mkazi wake ayenera kutengera maganizo a Yehova amenewa n’kumakhululukirana.—Werengani Akolose 3:13.

22, 23. Kodi Abulahamu ndi Sara anapereka chitsanzo chotani kwa anthu okwatirana masiku ano?

²² Anthu okwatirana amakhala osangalala akapirira mavuto limodzi kwa zaka zambiri. Baibulo limafotokoza za banja la Abulahamu ndi Sara amene anali okalamba. Sikuti moyo wawo unali wopanda mavuto. Tangoganizani mmene zinalili zovuta kwa Sara, amene anali ndi zaka zoposa 60, kuti asiye nyumba yake yabwino kwambiri yomwe inali mumzinda wolemera wa Uri ndi kukakhala m’matenti kwa moyo wake wonse. Komabe, iye anagonjera mwamuna wake. Chifukwa chakuti iye anali wom’thandiza mwamuna wake, mwaulemu anathandiza kuti zimene Abulahamu anasankha zitheke. Ndipotu kugonjera kwa Sara sikunali kwachiphamaso chifukwa ankatchula mwamuna wake kuti mbuye wake. (Genesis 18:12; 1 Petulo 3:6) Iye ankamulemekeza Abulahamu kuchokera pansi pa mtima.

²³ Zimenezi sizikutanthauza kuti Abulahamu ndi Sara ankaona zinthu mofanana nthawi zonse. Mwachitsanzo, nthawi ina Sara ananena maganizo amene Abulahamu “anaipidwa” nawo kwambiri. Komabe atalangizidwa ndi Yehova, Abulahamu modzichepetsa anamvera mawu a mkazi wake ndipo zinathandiza kwambiri banja lawo. (Genesis 21:9-13) Amuna ndi akazi okwatirana masiku ano, ngakhale amene akhala m’banja zaka zambiri, angaphunzire zambiri kuchokera ku banja loopa Mulungu limeneli.

24. Kodi ndi mabanja otani amene amapereka ulemu kwa Yehova Mulungu, nanga n’chifukwa chiyani?

²⁴ Mumpingo wachikhristu muli mabanja ambiri osangalala. M’mabanja amenewa, mkazi amalemekeza kwambiri mwamuna wake, mwamunanso amakonda ndi kulemekeza mkazi wake, ndipo onse awiri amachita zinthu mogwirizana poika chifuniro cha Yehova pa malo oyamba. Ngati mukufuna kulowa m’banja, sankhani mwanzeru munthu wokwatirana naye, konzekerani bwino banjalo, ndipo yesetsani kudzakhala ndi banja lamtendere ndi lokondana limene lidzapereke ulemu kwa Yehova Mulungu. Mukatsatira zimenezi, mudzakhala ndi banja labwino limene lidzakuthandizani kuti Mulungu apitirize kukukondani.