Mukhoza Kudzisunga M’dziko Lachiwerewereli

MWAMUNAYO anali wakuda koma wokongola. Mkaziyo anali waluso ndiponso wokongola. Onse anali kugwira ntchito pa kampani imodzi. Mkaziyo anali kumusamalira kwambiri mwamunayo. Mwamunayo anali kumuyamikira mkaziyo. Anali kugulirana mphatso. Posapita nthaŵi anali pachibwenzi. Mwamunayo anasiya mkazi wake kuti akwatire mkaziyu. Pamapeto pake, mkaziyo anaganiza kuti asasiyane ndi mwamuna wake koma kuti athetse chibwenzicho. Ndi mtima umodzi mwamunayo anayesa kuti abwererane ndi mkazi wake. Komabe sanaphule kanthu chifukwa sanali wolapa zenizeni. Aliyense amene nkhaniyi inamukhudza anapitirira kukhala ndi moyo, komatu atavulazidwa.

M’dzikoli, khalidwe labwino pa zakugonana silikuonekanso monga chinthu chabwino. Kuchita zinthu zosangalatsa ndi zoti ukhutire nazo popanda choletsa kukuoneka kuti kuli ponseponse. Buku lotchedwa The New Encyclopædia Britannica limati: “Kukuoneka kuti chigololo chimachitidwa kulikonse ndipo, m’malo ena, n’chofala ngati ukwati.”

Komatu, Yehova Mulungu amafuna kuti ukwati uchitidwe “ulemu ndi onse” ndi kuti pogona pakhale “posadetsedwa.” (Ahebri 13:4) Malemba amati: “Musasocheretsedwe; adama, kapena opembedza mafano, kapena achigololo, kapena olobodoka ndi zoipa, kapena akudziipsa ndi amuna . . . sadzaloŵa Ufumu wa Mulungu.” (1 Akorinto 6:9, 10) Motero kuti tikhale oyanjidwa ndi Mulungu tifunika kukhalabe ndi khalidwe loyera m’dziko la chiwerewereli.

Kodi tingadziteteze bwanji ku zinthu zoipitsa zimene zatizungulira? Mu chaputala 5 cha buku la m’Baibulo la Miyambo, Mfumu Solomo ya Israyeli wakale ikupereka mayankho. Tiyeni tipende zimene ikunena.

Luso la Kulingalira Likutetezeni

“Mwananga, mvera nzeru yanga,” ikuyamba motero mfumu ya Israyeli. Ikuwonjezera kuti: “Tcherera makutu ku luntha langa; ukasunge zolingalira [“luso la kulingalira,” NW], milomo yako ilabadire zomwe udziŵa.”​—Miyambo 5:1, 2.

Kuti tikane kuyesedwa kuchita zachiwerewere, tifunika nzeru, luso logwiritsa ntchito chidziŵitso cha Malemba, ndi luntha, kapena kuti mphamvu yosiyanitsa chabwino ndi choipa ndi kusankha njira yolondola. Tikulimbikitsidwa kulabadira nzeru ndi luntha kuti tisunge luso lathu la kulingalira. Kodi tingachite zimenezi motani? Pamene tikuphunzira Mawu a Mulungu, Baibulo, tifunika kuonetsetsa mmene Yehova amachitira zinthu ndi kutchera makutu athu ku chifuno ndi zolinga zake. Mwa kuchita tero, tidzakhala tikuchititsa kalingaliridwe kathu kukhala m’njira yoyenera. Luso la kulingalira lopezedwa chonchi n’logwirizana ndi nzeru yaumulungu komanso kumudziŵa Mulungu. Pamene ligwiritsidwa ntchito moyenera, luso limeneli limatiteteza kuti tisakodwe ndi msampha wa kunyengereredwa kuchita zachiwerewere.

Chenjerani ndi M’kamwa Mosyasyalika

Chifukwa chimene luso la kulingalira lili lofunika pokhalabe ndi khalidwe loyera m’dziko lautchisili n’chakuti njira za munthu wachiwerewere n’zokopa. Solomo akuchenjeza kuti: “Milomo ya mkazi wachiwerewere ikukha uchi; m’kamwa mwake muti see koposa mafuta. Chimaliziro chake n’choŵaŵa ngati chivumulo, ndi chakuthwa ngati lupanga lakuthwa konsekonse.”​—Miyambo 5:3, 4.

M’mwambiwu, munthu wopulupudza akusonyezedwa monga “mkazi wachiwerewere.” Mawu amene amakopa nawo anthu amene amagona nawo ndi otsekemera monga chisa cha uchi ndi osalala kuposa mafuta a azitona. Kodi kunyengererana zachiwerewere nthaŵi zambiri sikuyamba moteremu? Mwachitsanzo, talingalirani zimene zinachitikira mlembi wina wokongola wa zaka 27 wotchedwa Amy. Iye anati: “Mwamuna ameneyu kuntchito kwathu amachita zinthu zambiri zosonyeza kuti amandifuna ndipo amanditamanda nthaŵi iliyonse. N’zosangalatsa kuti ena amakuganizira. Koma ndikutha kuona bwino lomwe kuti akusangalala nane kokha kuti adzagone nane. Sindinganyengeke ndi zochita zakezo.” Mawu osyasyalika a mwamuna kapena mkazi wokopa ena kaŵirikaŵiri amakhala abwino pokhapokha ngati tazindikira pamenedi akuchokera. Pa chifukwachi tikufunika kugwiritsa ntchito luso lathu la kulingalira.

Zotsatira za chiwerewere n’zoŵaŵa monga chivumulo ndipo n’zakuthwa monga lupanga lakuthwa konsekonse​—n’zopweteka ndiponso n’zakupha. Kuvutika mumtima, kutenga mimba yosaifuna, kapena matenda opatsirana mwakugonana kaŵirikaŵiri ndizo zotsatira zoŵaŵa za khalidwe loterolo. Ndipo talingalirani za kuvutika maganizo kwakukulu kumene amakhala nako mnzake wa muukwati wa munthu wosakhulupirikayo. Kachitidwe ka kusakhulupirika kamodzi kokha kangachititse mabala akuya kwambiri oti angakhale kwa moyo wonse. Inde, chiwerewere chimavulaza.

Pothirira ndemanga pa moyo wa mkazi wa khalidwe losayenerera, mfumu yanzeruyo ikupitiriza kuti: “Mayendedwe ake atsikira kuimfa; mapazi ake aumirira kumanda; sasinkhasinkha bwino za njira ya moyo; mayendedwe ake adzandira dzandidzandi osadziŵa iye.” (Miyambo 5:5, 6) Njira za mkazi wachiwerewere zimamufikitsa ku imfa, mapazi ake amapita naye kumanda. Popeza kuti matenda opatsirana mwa kugonana, makamaka AIDS, afala kwambiri, mawuŵa alitu oona kwambiri! Zimene zimamuchitikira ndi zofanana ndi za awo amene amagwirizana naye pa njira zake zolakwika.

Mokhudzidwa mtima kwambiri, mfumuyi ikuti: “Ndipo tsopano ana, mundimvere, musapatuke ku mawu a m’kamwa mwanga. Siyanitsa njira yako kutali kwa iyeyo, osayandikira ku khomo la nyumba yake.”​—Miyambo 5:7, 8.

Tifunika kutalikirana kwambiri monga momwe tingathere ndi anthu achiwerewere omwe angatisonkhezere. Kodi n’kudziyanikiranji pa njira zawo mwa kumvetsera nyimbo zolaula, kuonerera zosangalatsa zoipa, kapena kumaona zithunzi zolaula? (Miyambo 6:27; 1 Akorinto 15:33; Aefeso 5:3-5) Ndipotu n’kupusa kwambiri kukopa chidwi chawo mwa kuseŵera nawo kapena mwa kusakhala wachikatikati m’kavalidwe ndi podzikongoletsa!​—1 Timoteo 4:8; 1 Petro 3:3, 4.

Mavuto Ake N’ngochuluka

Kodi m’pachifukwa china chiti chimene tiyenera kutalikitsa kwambiri njira yathu ndi njira ya munthu wopulupudza? Solomo akuyankha kuti: “Kuti ungapereke ulemu wako kwa ena, ndi zaka zako kwa ankhanza; kuti mphamvu yako isakhutitse alendo, ndi kuti usagwire ntchito m’nyumba ya wachilendo; ungalire pa chimariziro chako, pothera nyama yako ndi thupi lako.”​—Miyambo 5:9-11.

Motero Solomo akunenetsa mavuto aakulu ogwera m’chiwerewere. Chigololo ndi kutaya ulemu, kapena kudzilemekeza, zimayendera pamodzi. Kodi si zochititsadi manyazi kuti munthu ungokhala chabe wokhutiritsa chilakolako chako choipa cha kugonana kapena cha munthu wina? Kodi sizisonyeza kusadzilemekeza kugonana ndi munthu wina amene sitinakwatirane naye?

Komabe, kodi n’chiyani chimene chikuphatikizidwa pa ‘kupereka zaka zathu, mphamvu zathu, ndi chipatso cha ntchito yathu kwa alendo’? Buku lina la maumboni limati: “Mfundo ya mavesi ameneŵa n’njomveka: Mavuto akusakhulupirika angakhale ochuluka; pakuti chilichonse chimene munthu amachigwirira ntchito​—udindo, mphamvu, chuma​—chikhoza kutayika mwina mwa zofuna zadyera za mkaziyo kapena mwa zimene anthu angafune kuti abwezere zimene zawonongeka.” Khalidwe la chiwerewere lingatayitse zambiri!

Atataya ulemu wake ndi kutha chuma chake, munthu wopusa amalira kuti: “Bwanji ndinada mwambo, mtima wanga ndi kunyoza chidzudzulo; ndipo sindinamvera mawu a aphunzitsi anga; ngakhale kutcherera makutu kwa akundilanga mwambo! Ndikadakhala m’zoipa zonse, m’kati mwa msonkhano ndi khamu la anthu.”​—Miyambo 5:12-14.

M’kupita kwa nthaŵi, wochimwayo amanena zimene katswiri wina anatcha kuti “mtandadza wautali wa mawu odandaula akuti: ndikanamvera abambo anga; ndikanapanda kuchita zokhumba zanga; ndikanamvera uphungu wa anthu ena.” Komabe, munthu amazindikira zimenezi mochedwa kwambiri. Munthu amene tsopano ali wosadzisungayo moyo wake wawonongeka kale ndipo mbiri yake yaipanso. Kulitu kofunika kwambiri kwa ife kulingalira za mavuto ochuluka a kuchita chiwerewere icho chisanatimeze!

“Imwa Madzi a M’chitsime Mwako”

Kodi Baibulo silitchulapo kanthu pa za kugonana? Limatchula. Malingaliro a chikondi ndi kutengeka maganizo kumene mwamuna ndi mkazi amasangalala nako ndi mphatso zochokera kwa Mulungu. Komabe, unansi wolimba umenewu ndi woti azisangalala nawo anthu okwatirana okha. Motero Solomo akulangiza munthu wokwatira kuti: “Imwa madzi a m’chitsime mwako, ndi madzi oyenda a m’kasupe mwako. Kodi magwero ako ayenera kumwazika kunja, ndi mitsinje ya madzi m’makwalala? Ikhale ya iwe wekha, si ya alendo okhala nawe ayi.”​—Miyambo 5:15-17.

“M’chitsime mwako” ndi “m’kasupe mwako” ndi mawu a ndakatulo onena za mkazi wokondedwa. Kusangalala naye pogonana kukuyerekezedwa ndi kumwa madzi otsitsimula. Mosiyana ndi mtsinje, chitsime kapena kasupe chimaonedwa kuti n’chaumwini osati cha aliyense. Ndipo mwamuna akulangizidwa kubereka ana panyumba pake ndi mkazi wake m’malo momwaza mbewu yake m’makwalala, ndiko kuti, kwa akazi ena. Mwachionekere, uphungu kwa mwamuna ndiwo kukhala wokhulupirika kwa mkazi wake.

Munthu wanzeruyu akupitiriza kuti: ‘Adalitsike kasupe wako; ukondwere ndi mkazi wokula naye. Ngati mbawala yokonda ndi chinkhoma chachisomo, maŵere ake akukwanire nthaŵi zonse; ukodwe ndi chikondi chake osaleka.’​—Miyambo 5:18, 19.

“Kasupe,” kapena kuti chitsime, akunena za gwero la kukhutiritsidwa pogonana. Kusangalala pogonana ndi munthu amene unakwatirana naye ndi ‘kodalitsika,’ kunaperekedwa ndi Mulungu. Motero mwamuna akulimbikitsidwa kusangalala ndi mkazi wa pachinyamata chake. Kwa iyeyo, mkaziyo ndi wokondedwa ndiponso wokongola ngati mbawala yaikazi, ndi wosangalatsa komanso wachisomo ngati chinkhoma.

Kenaka Solomo akufunsa mafunso aŵiri osafuna mayankho kuti: “Pakuti ukondwerenji, mwananga, ndi mkazi wachiwerewere, ndi kufungatira chifuwa cha mkazi wachilendo?” (Miyambo 5:20) Inde, kodi munthu wokwatira n’kunyengedweranji kugonana ndi munthu wina amene sanakwatirane naye pogwirizana zimenezo ku ntchito, ku sukulu, kapena malo ena alionse?

Kwa Akristu okwatira, mtumwi Paulo anapereka uphungu uwu: “Ichi nditi, abale, yafupika nthaŵi, kuti tsopano iwo akukhala nawo akazi akhalebe monga ngati alibe.” (1 Akorinto 7:29) Kodi zimenezi zikuphatikizapo chiyani? Eya, otsatira Yesu Kristu afunika ‘kuthanga afuna Ufumu.’ (Mateyu 6:33) Motero, anthu okwatirana safunika kupatsana chisamaliro chachikulu kwambiri kotero kuti n’kumayika zinthu za Ufumu pamalo achiŵiri m’miyoyo yawo.

Kufunika kwa Kudziletsa

N’kotheka kulamulira zilakolako za kugonana. Awo amene akufuna kuyanjidwa ndi Yehova ayenera kutero. “Ichi ndi chifuniro cha Mulungu, chiyeretso chanu, kuti mudzipatule kudama; yense wa inu adziŵe kukhala nacho chotengera chake [thupi lake] m’chiyeneretso ndi ulemu,” analangiza motero mtumwi Paulo.​—1 Atesalonika 4:3, 4.

Motero achinyamata sayenera kuthamangira mu ukwati pamene angoyamba kumva kudzuka kwa zikhumbo za kugonana. Ukwati umafuna kudzipereka, ndipo kukwaniritsa udindo umenewo kumafuna kuti munthu akhale wofikapo. (Genesis 2:24) Ndi bwino kuyembekeza mpaka munthu ‘utapitirira pa unamwali wako,’ nthaŵi imene malingaliro akugonana amakhala amphamvu ndipo angachititse munthu kusaganiza bwino. (1 Akorinto 7:36) Ndipotu n’kupanda nzeru ndiponso n’kuchimwa kwakukulu kuti munthu wamkulu amene akufuna kukwatira kapena kukwatiwa achite zachiwerewere pachifukwa chokha chakuti sakupeza munthu woti adzakwatirane naye!

“Zoipa Zakezake Zidzagwira Woipa”

Chifukwa chachikulu chimene chiwerewere n’cholakwika n’chakuti Yehova, Wopatsa moyo ndi Wopereka mphamvu ya kugonana mwa anthu, sachivomereza. Motero popereka chosonkhezera munthu kudzisunga chachikulu kwambiri, Mfumu Solomo akuti: “Pakuti njira za munthu zili pamaso pa Yehova, asinkhasinkha za mayendedwe ake onse.” (Miyambo 5:21) Inde, palibe chimene chimabisika pamaso pa Mulungu, “iye amene tichita naye.” (Ahebri 4:13) Kachitidwe kalikonse ka kugonana kodetsedwa, ngakhale kakhale kobisika bwanji ndiponso zilizonse zimene zingakhale zotsatira zake zakuthupi ndi zachikhalidwe, kadzawononga unansi wathu ndi Yehova. N’kupusatu kwambiri kuwononga mtendere wathu ndi Mulungu chifukwa cha mphindi zoŵerengeka za kusangalala kosaloledwa!

Ena amene mopanda manyazi amayenda njira zachiwerewere angaoneke kuti amachita zimenezo popanda kulangidwa, koma sizikhala choncho kwanthaŵi yaitali. Solomo akuti: “Zoipa zakezake zidzagwira woipa; adzamangidwa ndi zingwe za uchimo wake. Adzafa posoŵa mwambo; adzasokera popusa kwambiri.”​—Miyambo 5:22, 23.

Nanga wina wa ife angasokere chifukwa chiyani? Ndi iko komwe, buku la Miyambo likutichenjezeratu za njira zachinyengo za dzikoli. Ndipo likutiuza mavuto amene kaŵirikaŵiri chiwerewere chimadzetsa pa thanzi lathu, chuma chathu, mphamvu zathu, ndi ulemu wathu. Podziŵiratu zinthu momveka chonchi, sitifunika kupezeka mu mkhalidwe wonena mtandadza wautali wa mawu odandaula. Inde, mwa kugwiritsa ntchito uphungu umene Yehova wapereka m’Mawu ake ouziridwa, tingathe kudzisungabe m’dziko lachiwerewereli.

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Zotsatira za chiwerewere n’zoŵaŵa ngati chivumulo

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‘Ukondwere ndi mkazi wokula naye’