Vechiduku Vanobvunza Kuti . . .

Kutamba Noutere Chii Chiri Kuvadziko?

“Rimwe zuva mukomana wangu akauya kuno apo amai vangu vakanga vasiri pamba, sezvinofungidzirwa kuzongoona bedzi TV,” anoyeuka kudaro Laura.a “Pakutanga akangobata bedzi ruoko rwangu. Ipapo kamwe kamwe, maoko ake akatanga kundibata-bata muna mamwe mativi. Ndakanga ndichitya kumuudza kuti arege; ndakanga ndichifunga kuti aizotsamwa ndokuda kuenda.”

LAURA nomukomana wake vakatanga kufamba panzira yakatungamirira zvikurukuru kumufambiro usina kururama. Kutsvodana kunonyandura zemo kwakatungamirira kuzvisina kufanira zvakakomba zvikuru. Vashomanene munyika yanhasi, hunyanguvezvo, vangashatirirwa mufambiro wakadaro. Chokwadika, kunzvera kunoratidzira kuti voruzhinjisa zvikuru vepwere muUnited States vakava nevatano pavakazosvika panguva yavaiva namakore 19! Kutsvodana kukuru uye kunyange kubatwa-batwa kwenzvimbo dzakavandika dzomuviri zvinorangarirwa sezviduku zvikuru kupfuura varaidzo isingakuvadzi. Dzimwe pwere dzinoganza pamusoro pokuti kure kwakadini kwadzakasvika mukuongorora kwadzo vatano.

Kunosuruvarisa kutaura, dzimwe pwere dzechiKristu dzakabatanidzwa mumusikanzwa wakadaro. Sezviri pamhene dzinoti chero bedzi “dzisingavi nevatano,” hapana kuvadziko iri kuitwa.

Kuvadziko Yomudzimu

Hapana chinhu chingagona kuva kure nezvokwadi. Bhaibheri rinoshurikidza avo vanoshandisa rusununguko rusina kufanira kuvane mitezo yakasiana yokubereka nayo. Icho vamwe vangarangarira sokubatana-batana “kusingakuvadzi” chingaparira icho Bhaibheri rinoidza kuti kusachena, mufambiro usingadzorwi, kana kuti kunyange ufeve. Izvi ndizvakashata zvakakomba zvingatungamirira kukutandwa muungano yechiKristu.—VaGaratia 5:19, 21.

Kutamba noutere hwevatano naizvozvo hakusati kuri chimwe chinhu chinofanira kurangarirwa nomutoo wokurerutsa. Ku“svibiswa kwenyama nomudzimu”—chimwe chinhu chingagona kukuvadza zvakakomba ukama hwako naMwari. (2 VaKorinte 7:1, NW) Pakupedzisira, kunogona kunyange kuparira ndangariro yako kuti i“tsauke pakururama nokuchena kwomwoyo kuri kuna Kristu.” (2 VaKorinte 11:3) Pwere inopinzwa mumufambiro usina kuchena, kana kuti inopinza mumwe munhuwo zvake mauri, haingambogoni kuratidzira “rudo [rwechiKristu] runobva pamwoyo wakachena, napahana yakanaka, napakutenda kusinganyengeri.”—1 Timotio 1:5, 19.

Mumwe anopfuura ganhuriro mukuratidzirwa kwechidakadaka anogona kutambura kuvadziko dzomurangariro. Ikoku imhaka yokuti, sokutiyeuchidza kunoita nyaya yomumagazini inonzi Seventeen, “nzira dzakasiana-siana vanhu vanogona kubatana nadzo . . . dzinogona kuva dzetsvamirano chaizvoizvo uye huru sezviri vatano.” Naizvozvo nepo kutsvodana nokubatana-batana kungava kunonyandura mumuviri, vasikana zvikurukuru vangawana kuti chinoitika chinovasiya vasina maturo uye vapererwa nepfungwa yose mumurangariro. Journal of Marriage and the Family inoti: “Vakadzi vanoshuma kunzwa kworutyo, mhaka, funganyo, kwenudzwo, uye kunyange kunyangadzwa.”

Rudo Here?

Rangarira nhauro yeBhaibheri iri muna Zvirevo ganhuro 7, inotizivisa nezvenyengedzwo yejaya nehure. Mukadzi iyeyo woutere akazivisa jaya, kuti: “Uya tigute nokudana kusvikira mangwanani; ngatizvifadze nokudana kukuru.” Pfungwa yokuva anodiwa pasina panikiro yakanzwika kuva inokwezva kune iyi pwere. Asika zvomene hure “nokutaura kwake kuzhinji kwakanaka unomutsausa, unomugombedzera nokubata kumeso kwemiromo yake.” Aiwa, rakanga risina rudo chairwo nokuda kwejaya; raingovawo zvaro kasitoma. Rakamudyeredzera kusvikira kuganhuriro.—Zvirevo 7:18-21.

Nenzira yakafanana, pwere dzakawanda nhasi—zvikurukuru vasikana—dzinodyeredzerwa. Vasikana zvikurukuru vanotowanzonyengetedzwa mukuita zvinhu zvisina kufanira. Mukuwirirana nebhuku rinonzi The Compleat Courtship rakanyorwa naNancy Van Pelt, “imwe fundo yakazivisa kuti chibvumikiso chakapararira zvikurusa chinoshandiswa [navakomana] ndeichi: ‘Kana uchindida, uchandibvumidza kuti nditsvamirane newe zvikuru.’” Munyori anotaura kuti vanhurume vakashandisa ichi chibvumikiso “chifo chapakuvamba kwenguva.”

Asi mumwe munhu angakukwevera mukupinda mumufambiro usina kuchena nounoshurikidzwa naMwari Wamasimba ose chaizvoizvo ari kukuratidzira rudo here? Kwete mukuwirirana neShoko raMwari. Bhuku irero rinotiyeuchidza kuti “rudo [rwechokwadi] . . . haruiti zvisingafaniri.” (1 VaKorinte 13:4, 5) Munyori Nancy Van Pelt anobvunza, kuti: “Kana akawana chaanoda, chibvumikisoi chauchava nacho chokuti anokuda apo kunenge kwapera? Sezvinobvira zvikuru akushandisa.”—Enzanisa na 2 Samueri 13:15.

Apo mukomana anogombedzera musikana kupinda mukuputsa rovedzo yake yechiKristu nehana, anobvumikisa kuva wenhema kukutaura kupi nokupi kwokuti anomuda chaizvoizvo. Uye kana mukomana achinyepedzera kuva muKristu, anobvumikisa kuva wenhema kuchiKristu chake chokunyepedzera. Musikana anotera kune iyi tyisidziro anodyeredzerwa, anoshandiswa, anoderedzwa chiremera chake nomukurumbira wakanaka. Chakatoipisisa, aita chiito chisina kuchena, zvichida kunyange ufeve, uko kuri kuputswa kwakakomba kwomutemo waMwari.—1 VaKorinte 6:9, 10.

Chokwadi, vamwe vasikana vatori rutivi vanodisa. Asi bvumirano yokuita chimwe chinhu chisina kururama haitongochiiti chakarurama. “Munhu unoona nzira achiti yakarurama; asi kuguma kwayo inzira dzorufu,” inodaro Zvirevo 14:12.

Hunokuvadza Ukama

Vamwe vanganzwa kuti ratidzirwo dzokunyama dzechidakadaka dzinokudziridza ukama. Zvisinei, kushandisa sununguko dzisina kufanira dzevatano hakusati kuchikudza ukama. Kunohuderedza. Zvikurukuru, kunoparadza ruremekedzano nokuvimbana. “Ndakava nokunzwa kwakashata kuno mukomana iyeyo pashure pacho,” anobvuma kudaro mumwe musikana akapinda mumufambiro usina kuchena.

Shaikwo yokuzvidzora munyengano inogona kupfuurira kuva netapuro yakaipa kunyange pashure pokunge vaviri varoorana. Kuzvidzora, rushiviro, uye kusava noudyire ndizvo nheyo yokugutsa vatano muroorano. (1 VaKorinte 7:3, 4) Asi mukati menyengano, vamwe vanoda kuroorana vakati vanotanga mutoo wokutera kuchishuvo choudyire, vachichimbidzikira kuzvidza ganhuriro, uye kufuratira kunzwa kwomumwe nomumwe. Ikoku kunogona kuparira roorano kuva nokutanga kwakaipa kunotyisidzira.

Apo kutsvodana kunonyandura zemo nokubatana-batana zvinotanga, kurukurirano ine revo inowanzoguma. Kutaura kwakavanzika kunodikanwa—pamusoro penharidzano, kariro, uye kunzwa—zvinotsiviwa nomuitiro wokusafunga, unonyandura zemo. Inonyevera Zvirevo 15:22 (NW), kuti: “Apo pasina kutaura kwakavanzika pane kukangaidzwa kwerangano.” Vakundikana kuvanzarika nheyo yakasimba yeroorano munyengano, vanoda kuroorana vakawanda vanotambura kangaidziko huru nokuva nemhaka apo ivo pakupedzisira vanochata.

Uraya Chishuvo Chisina Kururama

Rimwe pfundo rokurangarira inheyo yeBhaibheri iri pana VaKorose 3:5 (NW), inoti: “Naizvozvo, urayai mitezo yomuviri wenyu iri pamusoro papasi pakureva nezvoufeve, kusachena, chishuvo chevatano, chishuvo chinokuvadza, uye ruchochoro, uko kuri kunamata zvidhori.” Panzvimbo pokuuraya “chishuvo chinokuvadza,” kutsvoda nokubatana-batana zvinongobatira bedzi kuchinyandura. Rimwe jaya rinonzi Jack rinobvuma icho chakaitika kuno musikana waro: “Pakutanga kwaingova bedzi kutsvodana. Asi tevere kwakava kutsvodana kunomutsa zemo uye kubatana-batana kukuru, kamwe kunyange kusvika pakudokuita ufeve. Ndaiziva kuti zvatakanga tichiita zvakanga zvisina kururama mukuwirirana nemipimo yaJehovha.”

Imwe pwere inonzi Vera, iyo nenzira yakafanana yakabatanidzwa mumufambiro wakadaro wakaipa, inobvuma kuti kutsvoda nokubatana-batana kwakamuita kuti ade “kuva nevatano.” Padzimwe nguva ikoko ndiko chaikoiko kunoitika. Bhaibheri rinoratidzira kuti chivi chine tapuro inoomesa pahana yomunhu. (VaHebheru 3:13) Munhu zvaanova akarovedzana nokushandisa sununguko dzisina kufanira, ushati hunogona kukura. Chikarakadziro chimwe chevatano chinotungamirira kune chimwezve. “Usati wakuziva,” anobvuma kudaro Laura (adudzwa pakutanga), “unobatanidzwa mukubatana-batana kukuru. Uye anongova hawo maminiti bedzi gare gare apo munobatanidzwa muufeve. Ndozvakaitika kwandiri.”

Kunosuruvarisa, zvakafanana zvakaitika kudzimwe pwere dzisingaverengeki. Chirevo chekare chinonyevera, kuti: “Munhu ungaisa mwoto muchifuva chake, nguvo dzake dzikasatsva here?” (Zvirevo 6:27) Mhinduro iri pamhene. Uye kupwere dzechiKristu, dzinofanira kurangarira zvakakomba nyevero yaMwari, inoti: “Musanyengerwa; Mwari haasekwi; nokuti izvo zvinodyara munhu, ndizvo zvaanochekazve.”—VaGaratia 6:7.

Kupfuurirazve, Shoko raMwari rinozivisa, kuti: “Hakune mhombwe, kana munhu une tsvina, kana unochiva, ndiye unonamata zvifananidzo, ungadya nhaka muushe hwaKristu naMwari.” (VaEfeso 5:5) Nokudaro, kutamba noutere kune miuyo yakakomba uye kunogona kunyange kubvisira muKristu tariro yake nokuda kwoupenyu husingagumi munyika itsva yaMwari.—Zvakazarurwa 22:15.

[Mashoko Omuzasi]

[Mashoko okukwezva vaverengi ari papeji 18]

Kushandisa sununguko dzisina kufanira dzevatano kunoderedza ukama

[Mufananidzo uri papeji 17]

Mibato yeboka inovaka inokubetsera kudzivisa migariro yokubvumirana pane zvisina kufanira