Intsha Iyabuza . . .

Ukudlala Ngokuziphatha Okubi Iyini Ingozi?

“Ngolunye usuku isoka lami lafika ekhaya umama engekho, ngomqondo nje wokuzobuka i-TV,” kukhumbula uLaura.a “Ekuqaleni lamane nje langibamba isandla. Khona-ke ngokungalindelekile, izandla zalo zaqala ukungithinta kwezinye izindawo. Ngangisaba ukulitshela ukuba lingiyeke; ngacabanga ukuthi lalizocasuka bese lifuna ukuhamba.”

NGALEYONDLELA uLaura nesoka lakhe baqala indlela eyabaholela kancane kancane ekujuleni kokuziphatha okungafanele. Ukuqabulana okuvusa inkanuko kwaholela nakwezinye izenzo ezingafanele ezinkulu ngokungathi sína. Nokho, bambalwa ezweni lanamuhla abangacasulwa ukuziphatha okunjalo. Phela, ukuhlola kubonisa ukuthi iningi lentsha yase-United States lisuke selibe nobuhlobo bobulili lapho lifinyelela iminyaka engu-19! Ukuqabulana ngokweqile ngisho nokuphululana izitho zomzimba zangasese kubhekwa njengokuzilibazisa nje okungenangozi. Enye intsha iqhosha ngokuthi isifinyelele kude kangakanani ekuhloleni kwayo kwezobulili.

Kuyadabukisa ukuthi enye intsha engamaKristu iye yahileleka ekuziphatheni okunjalo okungafanele. Kusobala ukuthi icabanga ukuthi uma nje “ingahlanganyeli ubulili,” akunangozi edalekayo.

Umonakalo Ongokomoya

Iqiniso lisobala. IBhayibheli liyabalahla labo abahlanganyela ezenzweni ezingafanelekile nabobulili obuhlukile. Lokho abanye abangase bakuchithe ngokuthi ukuphululana “okungenangozi” kungase kuphumele kulokho iBhayibheli elikubiza ngokuthi ukungcola, ukuziphatha okuxekethile, noma ngisho nobufebe. Lezi izenzo ezingalungile ezingathi sína ezingaholela ekukhishweni ebandleni lobuKristu.—Galathiya 5:19, 21.

Ngakho-ke ukudlala ngokuziphatha okubi ngokobulili akuyona into okufanele ithathwe kalula. ‘Kuwukungcola kwenyama nokomoya’—okuthile okungabonakalisa ngokungathi sína ubuhlobo bakho noNkulunkulu. (2 Korinte 7:1) Ekugcineni, kungase kubangele ngisho nengqondo yakho ukuba ‘idukiswe, iyeke ubuqotho nobumhlophe ngakuKristu.’ (2 Korinte 11:3) Umuntu osemusha oholelwa ekuziphatheni okungcolile, noma oholela omunye umuntu kukho, akanakulubonisa ‘uthando lobuKristu oluvela enhliziyweni emhlophe, nakunembeza omuhle, nasekukholweni okungazenzisiyo.’—1 Thimothewu 1:5, 19.

Umuntu oweqisayo ekubonakaliseni uthando angalimala ngokomzwelo. Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi, njengoba sikhunjuzwa isihloko esithile kumagazini i-Seventeen, “izindlela ezihlukene abantu abangathintana ngazo . . . zingaba ezinamandla nezijule njengokuhlanganyela ubulili.” Ngakho nakuba ukuqabulana nokuphululana kungase kujabulise ngokomzimba, amantombazane ikakhulukazi angase athole ukuthi lokhu okuhlangenwe nakho kuwashiya ezizwa engelutho futhi ecindezelekile ngokomzwelo. I-Journal of Marriage and the Family iyaphawula: “Abesifazane babika imizwa yokwesaba, yecala, ukukhathazeka, ukuba namahloni, ngisho nokunengeka.”

Ingabe Uthando?

Cabangela ukulandisa kweBhayibheli kuzAga isahluko 7, okukhuluma ngokuyengwa kwensizwa ethile yisifebe. Lowo wesifazane oziphethe kabi watshela lensizwa: “Woza sizanelise ngothando kuze kuse, sijabule ngokuthandana.” Ngokungangabazeki umqondo wokuthandwa wezwakala ukhanga kulona osemusha. Kodwa eqinisweni lesisifebe ‘samphambukisa ngamazwi aso amaningi amahle; ngokuthopha kwezindebe zaso samyenga.’ Cha, lowesifazane wayengayithandi ngempela lensizwa; yayimane nje iyikhasimende. Wayixhaphaza ngokuphelele.—IzAga 7:18-21.

Ngokufanayo, intsha eningi namuhla—ikakhulukazi amantombazane—iyaxhashazwa. Ngokuvamile, amantombazane ikakhulukazi ayaye ayengelwe ekwenzeni izinto ezingafanele. Ngokwencwadi ethi The Compleat Courtship kaNancy Van Pelt, “okunye ukuhlola kwembula ukuthi amazwi avelele kakhulu asetshenziswa [abafana] athi: ‘Uma ungithanda, uzongivumela.’” Lomlobi uphawula ukuthi abesilisa bebesebenzisa lamazwi “kusukela endulo.”

Kodwa ingabe othile ongakuyengela ekuziphatheni okungcolile nokulahlwa uNkulunkulu uMninimandla onke uyobe ekubonisa uthando ngempela? Akunjalo ngokweZwi likaNkulunkulu. Leyoncwadi isikhumbuza ukuthi ‘uthando lweqiniso . . . aluziphathi ngokungafanele.’ (1 Korinte 13:4, 5) Umlobi uNancy Van Pelt uyabuza: “Uma owesilisa ekuthola akufunayo, yibuphi ubufakazi oyoba nabo bokuthi uyakuthanda lapho konke sekuphelile? Cishe uyobe ekuxhaphazile.”—Qhathanisa neyesi-2 Samuweli 13:15.

Lapho umfana ephoqelela intombazane ukuba iphule ukuqeqeshwa nonembeza wayo wobuKristu, ubonisa ukuthi unamanga ngokuzisholo ukuthi uyithanda ngempela. Futhi uma umfana ethi ungumKristu, uqamba amanga ngokusho kanjalo. Intombazane ezinikelayo kulokhu kwesatshiswa iyaxhashazwa, yehliswa isithunzi. Okubi nakakhulu, yenze isenzo esingcolile, mhlawumbe ngisho nokuhlobonga, okuwukwephulwa okukhulu komthetho kaNkulunkulu.—1 Korinte 6:9, 10.

Yiqiniso, amanye amantombazane ahlanganyela ngokuzithandela. Kodwa ukuvumelana ngokwenza into ethile engalungile akuyenzi ibe elungile. “Kukhona indlela ebonakala sengathi ilungile kumuntu, kepha ukuphela kwayo kuyindlela yokufa,” kusho izAga 14:12.

Ukonakala Kobuhlobo

Abanye bangase babe nomuzwa wokuthi ukubonakaliswa kothando ngokomzimba kukhulisa ubuhlobo. Nokho, ukwenza izenzo ezingafanelekile zobulili akubujulisi ubuhlobo. Kuyabululaza. Okungenani, kuqeda ukuhloniphana nokuthembana. “Kamuva nganginemizwa emibi ngalowomfana,” kuvuma enye intombazane eyahlanganyela ekuziphatheni okungcolile.

Ukuhluleka ukuzithiba ngesikhathi sokuqomisana kungaqhubeka kunethonya eliphambene ngisho nangemva kokuba umbhangqwana usushadile. Ukuzithiba, isineke, nokungabi nabugovu kuyisisekelo sobuhlobo bobulili obanelisayo emshadweni. (1 Korinte 7:3, 4) Kodwa phakathi nesikhathi sokuqomisana, eminye imibhangqwana iqala umkhuba wokuzinikela esifisweni sobugovu, ingakunaki ukuzithiba, futhi iyishaya indiva imizwa yomunye nomunye. Lokhu kungenza umshado ube nesiqalo esibi ngokudabukisayo.

Lapho ukuqabulana nokuthintana okuvusa inkanuko kuqala, ngokuvamile ukukhulumisana okunengqondo kuyanqamuka. Inkulumo edingekile yokubonisana—ngokuphathelene nemigomo, izifiso, nemizwa—ithathelwa isikhundla ukuziphatha okungenangqondo, okuvusa inkanuko. IzAga 15:22, (NW) ziyaxwayisa: “Kukhona ukushafa kwamacebo lapho ingekho khona inkulumo yokubonisana.” Ihlulekile ukubeka isisekelo esiqinile somshado ngesikhathi sokuqomisana, imibhangqwana eminingi ibhekana nokukhungatheka nomuzwa wecala omkhulu lapho ishada ekugcineni.

Bulala Inkanuko Engalungile

Elinye iphuzu okufanele licatshangelwe isimiso seBhayibheli esikweyabaseKolose 3:5: “Ngakho-ke bulalani amalungu enu asemhlabeni, ubufebe, nokungcola, nokuhuheka, nokukhanuka, nesangabe, okungukukhonza izithombe.” Kunokuba kunciphise ‘ukukhanuka,’ ukuqabulana nokuphululana kumane nje kukwandise. Insizwa okuthiwa uJack ivuma lokho eyakwenza nengoduso yayo: “Ekuqaleni kwakuwukuqabulana nje. Kodwa ngokulandelayo kwaba ukuqabulana nokuphululana okunamandla okuvusa inkanuko, ngesinye isikhathi kwaze kwafinyelela eqophelweni lapho sacishe sahlobonga khona. Ngangazi ukuthi esasikwenza kwakungalungile ngokwezindinganiso zikaJehova.”

Osemusha okuthiwa uVera, naye owahileleka ekuziphatheni okunjalo okungafanele, uyavuma ukuthi ukuqabulana nokuphululana kwakumenza afune ukuba “nobuhlobo bobulili.” Ngezinye izikhathi yilokho kanye okwenzekayo. IBhayibheli libonisa ukuthi isono sinethonya elithuntubeza unembeza womuntu. (Heberu 3:13) Njengoba umuntu ejwayela ukwenza izenzo ezingafanele, ububi bungakhula. Isenzo esisodwa sobulili siholela kwesinye. “Ngaphambi kokuba niqaphele,” kuvuma uLaura (okukhulunywe ngaye ekuqaleni), “nizithola seniphululana ngendlela evusa inkanuko. Futhi kuthatha isikhashana nje ukuhileleka ekuhlobongeni. Yilokho okwenzeka kimi.”

Ngokudabukisayo, kuye kwenzeka okufanayo kwenye intsha eningi. Isaga sasendulo siyaxwayisa: “Umuntu angaphatha umlilo esifubeni sakhe, izingubo zakhe zingashi, na?” (IzAga 6:27) Impendulo isobala. Futhi intsha engamaKristu, kufanele isithathe ngokungathi sína isixwayiso sikaNkulunkulu: “Ningaduki; uNkulunkulu akahlekwa. Ngokuba lokho akuhlwanyelayo umuntu, lokho wokuvuna.”—Galathiya 6:7.

Ngaphezu kwalokho, iZwi likaNkulunkulu lithi: “Akukho-sifebe, noma ongcolileyo, noma onesangabe ongokhonza izithombe, onefa embusweni kaKristu noNkulunkulu.” (Efesu 5:5) Ngakho, ukudlala ngokuziphatha okubi kunemiphumela engathi sína futhi kungase ngisho kuphuce umKristu ithemba lakhe lokuphila okuphakade ezweni elisha likaNkulunkulu.—IsAmbulo 22:15.

[Imibhalo yaphansi]

[Amazwi acashunwe esihlokweni ekhasini 18]

Ukwenza izenzo zobulili ezingafanelekile kululaza ubuhlobo

[Isithombe ekhasini 17]

Ukwenza imisebenzi eyakhayo njengeqembu kukusiza ukuba ugweme izimo eziyekelelayo