Kupereka Chisamaliro Kuchita ndi Zovuta za tsiku ndi Tsiku
NGATI kupereka chisamaliro kumakudzetserani zovuta, makamaka zimene simunayembekezere, mungadzimve kukhala waliwongo. Mungazizwe kuti: ‘Kodi pali chilichonse cholakwika muunansi wanga ndi makolo anga? Kodi achikulire m’zitaganya zambiri samakhala ndi moyo mwachimwemwe ndi makolo awo m’miyoyo yawo yonse?’
Eya, mkhalidwe wanu ungakhale wosiyana. Mwina makolo anu asamukira m’nyumba mwanu pambuyo pokhala paokha popanda inu kwa zaka 20, 30, 40, kapena kuposerapo. Izi zikutanthauza kuti inuyo ndi makolo anu munaumba maumoyo ndi zizoloŵezi payekhapayekha kwa nthaŵi yaitali ya miyoyo yanu. M’kupita kwa zaka makumi angapo, maumoyo amenewo ndi zizoloŵezi zingakhale zosiyana kwambiri. Koma tsopano, monga wopereka chisamaliro, mukuyang’anizana ndi kufunika kwa kugwirizanitsa moyo wanu ndi ya awo amene mukuwasamalira. Ichi chingakhale chovuta kwambiri kuposa ndi mmene zikanakhalira ngati munali kukhala pamodzi nthaŵi yonseyo.
Ndiponso, makolo ena angakhale odwala kwambiri kapena m’njira zina angafunikire chisamaliro chapadera chowonjezereka. Pamene kuli kwakuti, moyamikirika, mungakhale mukupereka zofunikira ndi kusaona kufunika kulikonse pakali pano kwa kuika makolo anu m’nyumba zosamalira okalamba, mkhalidwe umenewu mosakayikira umachititsa zovuta za tsiku ndi tsiku pa nonsenu. Kusamalira makolo anu nkwachibadwa. Kukalamba ndi kudwala sikwachibadwa. Sichinali konse chifuno cha Mlengi kuti anthu adzithedwa nyonga yawo ndi thanzi akamakula. Chifukwa chake, musaganize kuti pali chinachake cholakwika ndi inu chifukwa chakuti mkhalidwe umafuna zowonjezereka kwa inu, mwamalingaliro ndi mwakuthupi, kuposa zimene munayembekezera.—Genesis 1:26-31; Salmo 90:10.
Zovuta zochititsidwa ndi kupereka chisamaliro sizimatanthauza kwenikweni kuti palibe unansi wabwino pakati pa inu ndi makolo anu. Makamaka ngati munali nawo ndi unansi wabwino kumbuyoko asanafunikire chithandizo chanu, kuli kwachionekere kuti zovuta zilizonse zimene mukuyang’anizana nazo zili kaamba ka zitokoso zimene kusamalira makolo kungadzetse. Kodi ndimotani mmene mungachitire mwachipambano ndi zovuta za tsiku ndi tsiku?
Kuchita ndi Malingaliro Aliwongo
Ngakhale anthu amene akuchita zonse zimene angathe ndi zimene ayenera kuchitira makolo awo, nthaŵi zina amamva kukhala aliwongo posachita zoposerapo. Komabe, liwongo losayenera lingakhale vuto. Mungapeze kuti mukupanga zosankha zokhala ndi chifuno cha kuthetsa liwongo lanulo koma osati kwenikweni cha kudzithandiza inu eni kapena makolo anu. Mwachitsanzo, kodi chingachitike nchiyani ngati, poyesa kuthetsa malingaliro ake aliwongo losayenera, mkazi amwerekera m’kupereka chisamaliro ndi kunyalanyaza mwamuna wake ndi ana ake? Mkaziyo, mwamuna wake, ndi ana akewo akavutika ndi zotulukapo zake. Motero musalole liwongo losayenera kulamulira umoyo wanu.
Kodi nthaŵi zina mumamva kukhala waliwongo chifukwa kukuoneka kuti simungachitire makolo anu zokwanira? Pamenepo, nkothekera kuti zosoŵa za makolo anu zikuposa zimene mukhoza kupereka. Mkhalidwewo ungakhale wakuti, mosasamala kanthu ndi zimene muchita, nthaŵi zonse pamakhalabe zowonjezereka zimene mukanachita. Ndiponso, ngati muona kupereka chisamaliro kukhala njira yobwezera makolo anu zonse zimene anakuchitirani monga chisamaliro pokula, mudzadzimva waliwongo nthaŵi zonse, chifukwa chakuti simungathe konse kuwabwezera zonse.
Buku lakuti You and Your Aging Parents limatchula kufunika kwa kusankha mlingo wa zimene mudzachitira makolo anu. Ilo limati: “Mudzapeŵa kupwetekedwa mtima ndi kupsinjika maganizo kwambiri ngati muzika [zosankha zanu] makamaka, osati pazimene mungakonde kuchita kapena zimene muyenera kuchita koma pazimene mungathe kuchita.”
Inde, dziŵani motsimikiza zimene muganiza kuti mukhoza kuchita. Kungakhale kothandiza ngati mupempha chithandizo cha bwenzi lodalirika limene limadziŵa zokhoza zanu, zolephera zanu, ndi mkhalidwe wa banja lanu. Kodi mungathe kutenga makolo anu ndi kuwasunga m’nyumba mwanu? Kodi muli nawo malo okwanira? Kodi iwo adzalola kusamuka? Ngati makolo anu sakukhala nanu, kodi mungathe kumawachezera kaŵirikaŵiri motani, ndipo liti? Ngati muchita zimene mungathe, simufunikira kumva kukhala waliwongo. Komabe, ngati mumvabe kukhala waliwongo, zindikirani kuti malingalirowo ali osayenera ndipo akanizeni kulamulira zosankha zanu.
Gaŵanani Mtolowo
Buku la Baibulo la Mlaliki limanena mmene kuliri koipa ‘kupambanitsa kukhala woipa’ kapena ‘kupambanitsa kukhala wolungama’ ndi kuti kupambanitsa kukhala wolungama kungachititse ‘kudziwononga wekha.’ (Mlaliki 7:16-18) Zimenezi zingachitike ngati muyesa kukwaniritsa zoposa zimene mufuna kuchita, zimene mukhoza kuchita, ndipo ngakhale zimene muyenera kuchita.
Ngati mudali kale ndi programu ya zochita yokwanira musanayambe kusamalira makolo anu, muyenera kuchotsapo zochita zina kapena kupeza chithandizo. Komabe, ambiri ofunikira chithandizo amazengereza kupempha. Iwo angakhale amanyazi kwambiri kapena anganene kuti ena samafuna kuthandiza. Komabe, mumadzivulaza nokha limodzi ndi ena oloŵetsedwamo ngati mudzitopetsa kwambiri. M’buku lake lonena za kupereka chisamaliro, mlembi E. Jane Mall akutcha kudzitopetsa koteroko “nthenda ya kudzipha.” Iye akulangiza kuti: “Muyenera kukhala ndi ndandanda ya zofunika zoyamba, ndipo zitatu za zofunika zanu zoyamba ziyenera kukhala nthaŵi yokhala ndi [mnzanu wa muukwati], nthaŵi yokhala ndi ana anu ndi mabwenzi anu, ndi nthaŵi ya inu mwini.”
Inde, mungafunikire kugaŵana mtolowo. Chotero, kodi mungapite kuti kukafunako chithandizo? Banja, mabwenzi, anansi, ndi akatswiri angathadize. Koma muyenera kupempha chithandizocho. Ndipo muyenera kupempha mwachindunji. Kungopereka malingaliro kaŵirikaŵiri sikumagwira ntchito. Mungadabwe kuona amene ali ofunitsitsa kuthandiza ndi kuchuluka kwawo ngati muchita kuti zosoŵa zanu zidziŵike momvekera bwino ndi mapempho anu motsimikiza. Mwachitsanzo, mungapemphe munthu wina kukuthandizani kuyeretsa nyumba. Ngati zimenezo zikakupatsani mpumulo wofunikira, pamenepo imeneyi sinthaŵi yakuti muumirire pakuyeretsa nyumba inu eni chifukwa chakuti ‘palibe aliyense amene adzaiyeretsa bwino lomwe.’
Ngati muli ndi abale ndi alongo, nawonso ali ndi thayo la kusamalira makolo awo. Mwinamwake mwachita mbali yonse kapena mbali yaikulu ya kupereka chisamaliro kufikira tsopano, mukumaganiza kuti abale ndi alongo anu ali osakhoza kapena osafunitsitsa kuthandiza. Komabe, kodi mwapempha chithandizo chawo mwachindunji? Anthu ena angachitepo kanthu—ngati auzidwa momvekera bwino kuti chithandizo chikufunikira.
Ena amadzigangira kusamalira kholo lawo poyesa kudzipezera kapena kutetezera chiyanjo cha makolo. Kapena angadzimve kukhala amtima wosunga munthu mwakuchita okha ntchito yonseyo. Iwo angadandaule kuti ena sakupereka chisamalirocho, koma iwonso angasonyeze zizindikiro zosonyeza kuti akufuna kuti zikhale motero. Zimenezi zingakhale mtundu wa kupambanitsa kukhala wolungama. Koma kodi nkuikiranji mavuto osafunikira pa inu mwini? Ngati chithandizo chilipo, chipempheni, ndipo chigwiritsireni ntchito.
Chenjezo nali: Musayembekezere kuti abale anu ndi alongo adzagaŵana nanu thayolo molingana. Ngakhale kuti nthaŵi zina kungakhale kotheka kwa iwo kuchita zimenezo, kaŵirikaŵiri mikhalidwe yawo imachititsa zimenezo kukhala zovuta, ndipo ngakhale zosatheka. M’zochitika zambiri kumakhala kothandiza kwa chiŵalo chimodzi cha banja kukhala wopereka chisamaliro chenicheni, pamene ziŵalo zina za banja, makamaka achimwene ndi achemwali, zikuthandiza ndi ndalama ndi mwa kuimba lamya, kuwachezera, kapena nthaŵi zina kutengera makolowo kunyumba kwawo kapena pamaulendo a kumapeto kwa mlungu.
Kukhalirana Pafupi
Kukhalirana pafupi kungabutse zinthu zazing’ono zokwiyitsa. Zizoloŵezi zimene mukhoza kulolera mosavuta kwa bwenzi lanu zingaoneke kukhala zosalolereka kwa chiŵalo chabanja chapafupi.
Ndiponso, makolo anu anganene kanthu kena konga, ‘Kukanakhala kotheka ukanakhala nane kwa nthaŵi yokulirapo, koma ndidziŵa kuti uli wotanganitsidwa kwambiri.’ Mawuŵa angabise zimene kholo likuganiza zakuti simumadera nkhaŵa makolo anu kwenikweni. Mwina mungayankhe mawuwo ndi mkwiyo. Koma mmalo mokwiya, kodi sikungakhale bwinopo kusamalira nkhaŵa yobisala yeniyeniyo ya kholo lanu, kufuna kwawo kukhala nanu kwa nthaŵi yotalikirapo? Ngakhale ngati simungathe kuchita mogwirizana ndi pempho lawo, kufotokoza zinthu mokoma mtima kudzakhala ndi zotulukapo zabwino mmalo mwa yankho lopweteka.—Miyambo 12:18.
Kuyesayesa mwakhama kukulitsa mikhalidwe imene ikulimbikitsidwa m’Baibulo kudzakukhozetsani kukhalabe wokoma mtima komanso wolimba ngati kuli kofunikira. Buku la Baibulo la Akolose limavomereza motsimikizirika kuti nthaŵi zina timakhala ndi “chifukwa pa mnzake.” Limatilangiza kupitiriza “kulolerana wina ndi mnzake, ndi kukhululukirana eni okha.” Limatichichizanso kuvala “mtima wachifundo, kukoma mtima, kudzichepetsa, chifatso, ndi kuleza mtima.” (Akolose 3:12-14) Ndithudi, mikhalidwe yoteroyo idzakhala yothandiza kwambiri kuchepetsa zokwiyitsa zochititsidwa ndi kukhalirana pafupi.
Ngakhale pamenepo, ngati nthaŵi zina muphophonya, kutaya mtima, ndi kunena kanthu kena kamene muganiza kuti simunafunikira kunena, “dzuŵa lisaloŵe muli chikwiyire.” Pepesani mwamsanga, ndipo iŵalani nkhaniyo. Musailole kukhala chinthu chinanso chokuchititsani kudzimva waliwongo.—Aefeso 4:26, 27.
Kukhala ndi Nthaŵi ndi Malo Amtseri
Ngati inuyo ndi makolo anu mumakhala m’nyumba imodzi, kungakukhalireni kovuta kupeza nthaŵi ndi malo amtseri. Komabe, zimakhala zofunikira pamlingo wakutiwakuti kwa inuyo ndi makolo anu. Mungakambitsirane nawo za vuto limeneli ndi kumvana kuti nthaŵi ndi malo akutiakuti ali amtseri kwa inu kapena kwa abanja lanu. Mwachitsanzo, kwa mabanja ena, koma osati onse, kutseka chitseko ndi kuikako chikwangwani cholembedwapo kuti musadodometse kungazindikiridwe ndi onse kukhala chosonyeza malo kapena nthaŵi yamtseri kwa munthu yemwe ali mkatimo.
Ngati chipindacho chilibe chitseko, chochinga chonyamulika kapena chenga chingatumikire chifuno chofananacho. Chikumbutso choyenera chingaperekedwe ngati nthaŵi yamtseri yofunikirayo imadodometsedwa mosayembekerezeka. Mfundo ili yakuti, kufunika kwa nthaŵi ndi malo amtseri kwa wina kuyenera kulemekezedwa ndi onse m’banja.
Mwaŵi
Kumbukirani kuti ngakhale kuti kufooka kulikonse kwa thanzi la makolo anu kungakhale koŵaŵitsa kwa inu, Mlengi wathu, Yehova, amafuna kuti ife tikhale ndi mlingo wa chisangalalo ngakhale pamene tiyang’anizana ndi mikhalidwe yopereka chiyeso. Ntchito imeneyi ingakuthandizeninso kuyandikira pafupi ndi Yehova pamene muyedzamira pa iye mwapemphero. Wopereka chisamaliro wina ananena motere: “Nthaŵi zonse ndinali kukhala pafupi ndi Yehova, koma kupereka chisamaliro kunandiphunzitsa kudalira pa iye kotheratu. Kunali ngati kusiyana kokhala pakati pa kulankhula palamya ndi munthu wokhala kutali kwambiri ndi kukhala ndi munthuyo. Yehova anali nane pompo.”
Kupereka chisamaliro kuli mwaŵi ndiponso thayo. Lankhulanani ndi makolo anu kotero kuti mudziŵe zosoŵa zawo. Apezereni zofunikira zawo, ndipo khalanibe achisangalalo pochita zimenezo.—Afilipi 4:4-7; 1 Petro 5:7.
[Bokosi patsamba 7]
Kuchititsa Kupereka Chisamaliro Kukhala Kosangalatsa
1. Chimene makolo amafuna kwenikweni kwa ana awo achikulire ndicho kuchita zinthu pamodzi kwabwino. Izi zimafuna kuyandikira pafupi ndi makolo anu ndi kuwafotokozera mbali zofunika kwambiri za umoyo wanu. Zimenezi zingakhale zovuta muunansi wa kholo ndi mwana wachikulire. Maganizo aliwonse oweruziratu kumbali zonse ziŵiri adzakhala chopinga. Maganizo oterowo ayenera kupeŵedwa kuti pakhale kukondana.
2. Ngati limodzi la makolo anu likukuuzani za vuto kapena nkhaŵa ina, mvetserani mwachifundo. Mayankho amene amachepetsa malingaliro awo amangokulitsa chisoni monga ngati: ‘Pepani, koma sichinaipe kwenikweni’ kapena, ‘Ndikudziŵa, zimenezi zimachitikanso kwa ine.’ Mudzakhala othandiza kwambiri ngati muyesa kuzindikira malingaliro obisika a kholo lanu, ndiyeno avomerezeni ndi kuwalimbikitsa (‘Zikumveka kukhala zovuta kwambiri kwa inu pakali pano, koma tidzathandizana kuthetsa vutolo’).—Miyambo 20:5.
3. Ngati ndinu mnzake wa muukwati wa uyo amene ali wopereka chisamaliro chachikulu, khalani wochirikiza mwakuthupi ndi mwamalingaliro. Lankhulanani ndi mnzanu wa muukwatiyo; apo phuluzi padzakhala kusamvetsetsana. Chichirikizo cha mnzanu wa muukwati chimathandiza kwambiri. Mkazi wina wokwatiwa anadandaula kuti kusoŵa kwa chichirikizo m’banja lake kunali “kovuta kuchita nako kuposa kusamalira amayi [ake] kwenikweniko.” Komanso, iye anayamikira kwambiri chithandizo cha bwenzi lake limene linkamtonthoza nthaŵi zina. Iye anati: “Zinakhudza mtima wanga pamene iye anandithandiza. Zimenezo zinali zondikomera kwambiri ndipo zinandikopera pafupi ndi iye.”
[Bokosi patsamba 10]
Ngati Mumapatsidwa Chisamaliro
Mwinamwake ndinuyo amene mukupatsidwa chisamaliro. Kodi mungachitenji kuti muthandize kusungitsa unansi wokhazikika ndi wamtendere ndi ana anu?
Makolo ena amapanga cholakwa cha kuyesa kulamulira, mwa kukhala oumirira, kufunsitsa mopambanitsa, kapena kuchititsa malingaliro aliwongo. Mwachionekere mumadziŵa kuti zimenezi zimangochepetsa ulamuliro ndi kuwonjezera nsautso. Zotulukapo zimakhala zabwinopo pamene musonyeza ana anu achikulire kuti mumalemekeza iwo, malo ndi nthaŵi yawo yamtseri, ndi malingaliro awo, ngakhale pamene simukuvomereza. Kuyamikira ana anu nthaŵi zonse kumakhala kolimbikitsa. Mwana wina wachikulire anati: “Mwana amafuna chivomerezo cha makolo ake mosasamala kanthu kuti ali wamkulu motani.”
Mumkhalidwe woterowo wa chikondi ndi ulemu, uzani ana anu zosoŵa zanu. Kungopereka zizindikiro ndi malingaliro kaŵirikaŵiri kumangoipitsirapo zinthu m’malo mwa kuwongolera, chotero khalani wachindunji, koma wokoma mtima. Ngakhale ngati inuyo ndi ana anu simukuvomerezana pamfundo ina, kuchita kwanu mochenjera kudzathandizira kukhala ndi unansi woyandikana ndi wowona mtima wopanda kulingalirana molakwa.
[Zithunzi pamasamba 8, 9]
Posamalira makolo anu, pezaninso nthaŵi yokhala ndi mnzanu wa muukwati, ana anu, ndi ya inu mwini